The transition from friends to dating can be tough on both people... who knows what is acceptable now and what’s not? Someone you used to tell everything to, including how long it’s been since you last shaved your legs, is now someone you want to impress... it can be a minefield! My friends have found this to be an increasing trend though, and at least if you are friends first you know the real him before you get involved and don't have to worry about him being a keeper or not... Here are my top ten tips for making it work!
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1. Don’t Be Too Friendly
So watchinga movie in your PJ's was okay when you were friends, but now you're dating. He needs to see you in a whole new light. Don’t get stuck in the trap that he already knows who you are... be exciting, and impress!
2. Don’t Share Too Much
Think about who you are talking to. In the past, sharing intimate details was okay, but now... well, would you tell anyone else that you’ve worn the same lingerie for three days? I didn’t think so! Re-adjust him in your head, so that you don’t tell him things he doesn’t need to know!
Frequently asked questions
It can be tricky! Look for signs like extra flirty behavior, spending more time together, or sharing deeper conversations. If you both already have a strong connection, it might be worth exploring!
Totally valid worry! Just be honest with each other from the start about your feelings and intentions. If it doesn't work out, be kind and patient as you both figure out how to adjust your relationship.
Why not? If you feel confident, go for it! Sometimes it just takes a little nudge to see if there's potential from both sides. Take a chance, but be ready for any response.
It is a possibility, which is why you should talk openly about your fears and boundaries. If the friendship is strong, you both can work through changes and be honest about what you're feeling.
Keep the communication flowing! Transitioning can be awkward, but try to be open and patient. Enjoy fun, low-pressure activities together to strengthen both your friendship and relationship.
3. Make an Effort
Don’t get caught in the idea that he’s seen you at your best already, and make sure that you make an effort. Wash your hair, shave your legs, get your nice clothes out, put make up on. He is no longer just a friend, so you need to impress and seduce!
4. Don’t Hang out
Instead of him coming around to yours, go on aromantic date. A proper one, where he picks you up, and you dress up. It’s fun, it creates memories and it clearly separates it from a normal night in front of the TV!
5. Don’t Move Too Fast
A lot of my friends have struggled with this. Usually they stick rigidly to the three dates rule, only going further than a kiss when they feel ready but certainly after three dates... but with a guy you already know, is there an etiquette? Surely you can count the curry as one date, the film as the next... while I’d always recommend doing things at your own pace, sticking to this rule can’t hurt, and will show that you aren’t easy!
6. Compliment Him
So usually you compliment the guy, right? But this one already knows that he has you in stitches, that you like his cologne and that his clothes suit him... but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t tell him anyway! Compliment him. He’ll love it and it'll help strengthen the bond of anew relationship.
7. Be Protective
Being protective isn’t a bad thing... in fact it’s really normal! Act like a girlfriend, and make sure he introduces you as one! Don’t be stroppy, though. That’s not an attractive trait in anyone's book!
8. Miss Him
Do you usually spend every night together? Have a girly night, or just a night in alone. Make him miss you and value what he has. This is also a good way to get him to evaluate his feelings for you ifhe hasn't fallen for you yet...
9. Hold His Hand
The physical side of things, such as holding hands and kissing, can be awkward if you’ve been friends first. So make sure you don’t neglect this! Remember that being friends first is a benefit and shouldn’t hold you back.
10. Be Yourself!
Don’t try to morph into his ex girlfriend, the kind of girlfriend his friends want, or his mum. He loves you for who you are, and he knows you well enough to know if you are pretending to be someone else!
While it can seem so daunting, my best friend dated several men and every time our mutual friend was there to hold her hand when it went wrong. They are now engaged and perfect for each other! So it can be a blessing if you follow these rules. Have you got a tip for swapping friendship for love? Please let me know!
Comments
InLoveeWithHim:(: I have a crush on one of my best guy friends, and he's always flirting with me, and, much to my annoyance, my friend. I don't know what to do :( He wont ask me out, he's way to shy, and I'm too shy to ask him out, so I guess we'll stay friends. :(
Anonymous: So I told a guy friend I like him. He think there's a connection too but doesn't want to ruin his relationship with my guy cousin and brother because he says it's happened before. I think it could be different. He wants to stay friends. Should I keep pursuing or let him be and keep our friendship as well. Confused
Jwatkins264: also there is another guy that likes me but i dont like him back i like my best friend more HELP ME
mowz: i've been happily in love with my friend for about half a year now (and I've carried a torch for him before). all i can say is, it makes the relationship a lot easier if you don't swap friendship completely for love, but keep it. for example we still make fun of each other a lot, in a sometimes very sarcastic way. we still bicker and he doesn't defend me when our friends tease me (they can be mean) and i don't expect him to. it creates a lot less drama if you remain equals and don't turn into a damsel in distress and a knight in shining armor.
Mystique: This is very very helpful! I've been friends with a guy since the past 10 years (as chat buddies). and we've never really met or anything except once even though we have common friends. Over the past 1 month we'eve started talking like best buddies and now its more than best buddies any more. Woah...! We click like anything, have thousand things in common and above all he's a great guy! I have feelings and I'm sure he does too. Definately sure. He sends me indirect signs like romantic lyrics sms, he's indirectly hinted i'm his gf BUT I'm a lil confused. We text eachother 24/7, exchange emails, phone calls - everything possible to be in touch but we STILL havnt meet. We met 10 years ago. I have no clue how wat to say or do or where even to meet!!! all I know is sparks are gonna fly! Wish me luck xOxO.
Jwatkins264: Hey guys i use to date this guy in year 6 we broke up and now we are best friends but i wouldnt mind giving dating another go tips?
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