10 Tips for Being a Better Lover ...


10 Tips for Being a Better Lover ...
10 Tips for Being a Better Lover ...

Tips for being a better lover! Are you serious? Yes girl! Sure the sex was spicy in the beginning, but over time, the sexy clothes are hidden in the sock drawer. As for that massage oil, it is sitting somewhere next to the athlete’s foot powder gathering dust. Don't you think it's time to rewind? Time to get into your sexy lingerie and dust off that massage oil (or buy a new one)? Here are my top ten tips for being a better lover...

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Make Dates

Sure, you may not be in the dating stage anymore, in fact, you are well past the dating stage, but who said you cannot go out on romantic dates? Go out somewhere nice to eat. Perhaps have a dinner and a movie. Perhaps an amusement park date. A Broadway play? My point is have a little fun in your marriage.


Reviving the spark doesn't stop at grand gestures; sometimes it's about the unexpected little surprises that show thoughtfulness and consideration. Leave love notes for your partner to find, or send them a flirty text in the middle of the day. Switch things up by planning a secret getaway or even something as simple as a candlelit dinner at home. Remember, the key to romance is keeping the other person feeling special and desired, so find those unique little ways to say "I love you" in your everyday life.


Get out of Your House

For a better love life, we recommend you and your partner taking regular nights away from home. When couples have been together for awhile, sex will become more of a routine. By the end of the day, you are worn out from your job, the kid’s baseball game, the errands and the laundry. Instead of sipping champagne and enjoying oysters on the half shell over great scenery, you are going home to a house full of peanut butter and jelly. It is not exactly an exciting life. So, make sure the two of you spend some nights out of your home and do something fun!


Stepping outside your daily backdrop can reignite sparks that routine may have dulled. Imagine dancing under the stars, toasting on a moonlit beach, or even discovering a new jazz club together. Variety is the spice of life, and it holds true for your romantic life as well. Switching up the setting adds a layer of excitement and can make intimate moments feel fresh and exhilarating. So book that cozy bed-and-breakfast or plan a romantic evening in the city. Remember, new experiences can lead to new levels of connection.


Redecorate the Bedroom

Of course, having a sex life that is dependent on overnight babysitters and hotels could be a problem if you are not a wealthy family. In addition to taking some nights out from your home, maybe you should try to redecorate the bedroom. It does not have to be spectacular, but a little change will make a big difference in your sex life.


Sprucing up the ambiance of the bedroom with a few candles, some fresh, sensuous linens, or even a new coat of paint can reignite passion. Consider adding some plush pillows or a soft, cozy throw to invite comfort and warmth. Investing in dimmable lighting can set a romantic mood, while a discreet playlist of love songs can stimulate the senses. Remember, small details often lead to big improvements in the intimacy department, encouraging a more enjoyable and fulfilling connection with your partner.


Light up Some Candles

Come on, don’t you miss the days when you made love in candlelight? Why don’t you do that anymore? Just because you have children does not mean you cannot make love under candlelight. Of course, make sure you blow those candles out good before you go to sleep.


The soft glow of candles sets the perfect ambiance for intimacy, creating a sultry and enchanting atmosphere that can reignite passion like nothing else. The flickering light dances across skin, giving a warm and inviting hue that's ideal for exploring each other's bodies anew. It's not just visually pleasing but also sets a romantic mood that electronic lights simply can't match. Plus, the delicate scent of aromatic candles can elevate the experience, engaging your senses and transporting you both to a place where the worries of everyday life melt away. Just remember to place candles safely to prevent any accidents. Take this simple step and watch as it casts a spell over your intimate moments, creating memories that will linger far beyond the night.


Dig Deep

Everyone has sexual fantasies of some sort. For many, those fantasies are buried deep down. What do you want to change about the way you have sex? Maybe you want him to spend more time in foreplay. Maybe you want to try new positions. Think about it long and hard. And when you're sure, go ahead and suggest it to your partner. I'm sure he'll want to give it a shot.


Embarking on a journey of self-discovery can be exhilarating in the context of your intimate life. Reflect on your desires - those yearnings that you've perhaps kept concealed, worried they might be too much or too unconventional. Are there aspects of your sensuality that you're curious to explore? Maybe there's a hidden kink or role-play scenario that intrigues you. Embrace your sexuality with openness and courage. Communication is the key here; discuss your findings with your partner. You won't just be enriching your own experience - you'll be deepening the connection between you both.


What Does Your Partner Want?

It is not only about what you want, but also about what your partner wants. Talk to him. Does he have a certain fantasy that he would like to fulfill? Having open conversations about sex could bring the two of you closer together. It is likely to make sex even more interesting for the both of you. And sometimes even if you think what he wants is a little strange or out of the ordinary, be openminded enough to give it a shot.


Understanding your partner's desires can transform your bedroom dynamics. Start by creating a non-judgmental space where fantasies are welcomed and discussed with compassion and curiosity. Remember, his desires are a reflection of his inner world, not necessarily a blueprint for action. Embrace this exchange as a chance to cultivate intimacy—sexual and emotional. You might discover new avenues of pleasure that resonate with both of you. Together, you can explore these fantasies and maybe find common ground or exciting new experiences to share, strengthening your bond.


Try Something New

If you are looking to spice up your relationship in the bedroom,trying something new should be on your mind. Attaining a better love life in the bedroom is something that many individuals have a hard time doing. Maybe try sexier lingerie, sex toys,massages and so on… Just because you try something new does not mean that it has to be outrageous.


Stepping outside of your comfort zone can be thrilling. Experiment with role-playing, or explore mutual fantasies that you’ve yet to reveal to each other. Communication is key in this; discussing boundaries and interests opens up a world of potential excitement. Even trying a new position or location can reignite passion. It's essential, however, to approach this with an open mind and respect for each other's limits. And always remember, the goal is to enhance the connection and enjoyment for both of you. Intimacy is not just physical; introducing novelty can deepen your emotional bond as well.


Do Not Ignore Sexual Problems

If you or your partner has sexual problems or relationship problems, then they should not be ignored. Those problems are not going to just diminish into thin air. There are many relationships that lead to divorce simply because they did not address a problem that they could have beat.


Ignoring issues in the bedroom can also lead to a breakdown in communication and intimacy in other areas of the relationship. Sexual compatibility is a key part of a fulfilling partnership, but it's only one aspect of a deep connection. If you're struggling, consider seeking the help of a qualified therapist or sexologist—professionals trained to address these sensitive matters. Remember, the willingness to confront and resolve sexual difficulties can be a profound opportunity to strengthen your bond and rekindle the passion in your relationship.



In every relationship, communication is important. Without communication, you do not really have a relationship. Make time for one another to speak. When you speak, you should speak openly. Speak each day. Tell each other about the day, what did you do at work? What did you have for lunch? Keep the conversation going….


…it’s not merely about the mundane aspects of your day but also sharing your inner thoughts and feelings. Be vulnerable and allow your partner into your world by expressing your hopes, fears, and dreams. Active listening is equally as crucial as speaking; be present and engaged when your partner is talking. Validate their feelings and show empathy. Remember, communication is a two-way street that requires a balance of give and take, fostering a deeper emotional connection that's essential for a lasting bond.


Buy Gifts

Sure, it is not your husband's birthday, it’s not your anniversary, it’s not the wife’s birthday, but that does not mean that you cannot buy them gifts. When they come home, have a surprise waiting for them. You do not have to do this every day and they should not expect it. Being spontaneous and getting your lover a gift just to say I love you is perfect.

Those are my 10 tips for being a better lover. I have been married for six years and still feel the same way I have always felt. We have a great relationship and open communication. Going for seven years and the sparks are still living. What about you? How do you keep your love life new and exciting?

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This is a great contribution Melanie and all fabulous points. I hope in a few years to take good advantage of every single one of them :)

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