All Women's Talk

12 Tips on How to Communicate with Your Partner about Sex...

By Melanie

Personally, I am a very open person, but I understand that there are many women and men out there that find it hard to speak with their partner about sex. Do you happen to be one of those individuals? If so, then you should follow these 12 tips on how to communicate with your partner about sex and you'll see how really easy it is…

12 Don't Be Shy or Embarrassed

So many out there are shy or embarrassed when it comes to speaking with their partner about sex. Your partner is the one you love and you should be able to speak with him or her about anything, including sex. If there is something you want different in bed, then tell them.

11 Set Aside a Time

If you have a problem blurting it out out of nowhere, then set aside a specific time to talk to your partner about sex.

10 Clarify Your Issue with Yourself, First

Sex is a complicated thing. Before you speak with your partner about the way you feel about sex, sit down and think about it for awhile. This is going to help you clarify your feelings and thoughts. If you have any frustrations, do not try to place all of the blame on your partner.

9 Write about Your Feelings and Concerns

Sure, you may not view writing about your feelings and concerns as communicating well, but it does help. When you are writing about your feelings and concerns, it will help you clarify the issues you are having by yourself. This is a good way to practice the way you are going to communicate with your partner.

8 Writing a Letter

Remember back when you used to write love letters to your partner when things were just starting out? Sometimes, the best way to communicate with your partner about sex would be to write them a letter. Sure, this may sound old school, but sometimes, writing is better. Personally, I can communicate better writing letters with people. When you write the letter, you will also be looking at things from a different perspective.

7 Practice Talking

If you are nervous about speaking with your partner, then practicing will help you. You can practice with a friend you can trust or you can sit in front of a mirror alone and talk.

6 Give Your Partner Time

When you are speaking with your partner about sex, give them time to process everything that you have said. Time will allow both you and the partner to respond correctly. This way, the both of you will not feel pressured or rushed. Take note that sexual communication is an ongoing process.

5 Eye Contact

When you are communicating with your partner, it is important that you keep eye contact. This way, you will be able to connect with one another emotionally.

4 Don’t Raise Your Voice

When you are communicating with each other, there is no need to raise your voice. If your partner does not see eye to eye with you, then do not get mad at him or her. Just tell them you wish they would think about what you are talking about. Tell them you will give it some time. Together, the both of you can come up with a way that you both agree on.

3 Opening Lines

If you are having a problem communicating with your partner about sex, then you can come up with an opening line that will ease those problems. When I say opening lines, I do not mean “I need to talk to you.” I mean, if you are having problems with premature ejaculation start off by something like “Do you enjoy your sex life?” After the opening line, see what your partner says and then take it from there.

2 Be Understanding

There are chances that your partner is just like you and has a hard time communicating about sex. You need to be understanding. If they are quiet, then this is because they are embarrassed. Ask them if they are embarrassed, tell them not to be embarrassed that you just want things to be better.

1 Be Comfortable

When you are talking with your partner about anything, it is important that you are comfortable. As you are speaking with them, you should also have a clear mind and not be worrying about anything else.

Those are my top 12 tips on how to communicate with your partner about sex. Personally, I enjoy writing a letter (or an email) to my partner to get my problems out. I also enjoy talking with my husband through instant messenger. I find it easier to communicate this way, plus it is fun as it brings back memories of the old days. Do you have any problems communicating with your partner? How have you addressed these problems?

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