Even very attractive women can struggle to get dates. The reason often has to do with mistakes in the initial stages of meeting guy for the first time. We humans are social creatures; whether male of female, in the first ten minutes of conversation we do a lot of sizing up. In fact, it is likely that within the first 10 minutes of conversation we will have made all the necessary judgements about whether or not a member of the opposite sex is someone we would like to get to know better.
So wouldn’t it be nice to make the right first impression? Well, why don’t we start with what NOT to do; because it’s the little things that make guys run for the hills:
1. Trying to hard to be sexy/ too forward/ too predatory
Contrary to what some girls think, overtly attempting to flirt and make provocative sexy advances too early on is a big turn off. Put plainly, it freaks a guy out, and whether true or not, be sure he will make all kinds of assumptions about how promiscuous a girl is based on this behaviour. You can also be sure that he’ll assume you act this way for every guy. Also, Shock! Horror! A man may ACTUALLY wants to get to know a bit about you as a person.
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2. Laughing all the time – No-one is that funny
The end–result of this kind of behaviour for the guy is stale conversation and a lack of challenge. If a guy feels like you’ll clap and dance at anything he says, he will get bored. It is better to tease him slightly when he’s not funny; he’ll respect you more for not being so easily entertained.
3. Drinking too much
Quite simple. Women don’t like drunk men; women about to keel over with alcohol are just as repellent to the male species. There is no greater mood killer for a man than when a girl he has just been kissing turns and seductively whispers in his ear “I am sooo drunk right now”.
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4. Trying to appear to strong and not letting their vulnerable side show
This is a tricky one for many women to get right, especially those who enjoy being very independent. Here’s the thing, self-sufficient strong women are sexy, but men want to know there is a sweet girl with feelings in there somewhere. If a guy gets the feeling you’re an ice queen incapable of romance, he may look elsewhere for a woman more likely to cuddle up with him when the weather turns cold.
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5. Giggling and whispering with girl mates
Ironically, when it comes to getting male attraction, your best friends can be your worst enemies. Turning around every minute to whisper conspiratorially with your girlfriends may drive him crazy, but NOT in the way you might be hoping! It makes a man feel like you don’t respect him enough to include him or pay attention to what he has to say.
Bottom line: Don’t make these common, but easy to make mistakes. Even just doing this will put you way ahead of the curve. See you soon!
Matthew Hussey – Founder, MD – www.gettheguy.co.uk
Why didn’t you write not to go to bed on the first date. Almost all men vanish after first date sex.
[...] Few things put a man off as much as artifice. So if you are talking louder or laughing or smiling more than you normally do, ease up. It may actually backfire. (this is the one of 5 Common First Date Mistakes) [...]
ya datz rite … Cookie datz rite because lyke mostly all da guys are excited for sex when they are going out with a hot or pretty gurl duh! :)
yea i think that these tips r good….but what about when u’ve had the first date and you text eachother all the time but all he has is 1 word answers n never wants to hangout, but still asks u out on a second date.
what i dont understand is y a guy wud ask u out and then cancel last minute. if you dont want 2 go on a date dont ask!
what i dont understand is y a guy wud ask u out and then cancel last minute. if you dont want 2 go on a date dont ask!
[...] *5 Common First Date Mistakes You Should Avoid. [...]
yea i really know how that is my ex boyfriend HATED when i did that, he used to yell at me, but he always got over it.. till the HORRIBLE day when my friend called him a child molester because he talked to a younger friend of mine… WOW he really went off on that one.
Ok so this guy is vary funny and I know he likes me even his best friend said he likes me. He won’t ask me out! He said that his mom won’t let him date till he is 16. What should I do? Please help me! Please! We talk all the time and we r vary good friends.
One more is when all you can talk about is your ex boyfriend, or even being quiet when he knows you are load and hyper. Then he knows that you are thinking about someone or something else. He will think that he isnt good enought for you.
We have written a First Date Mistakes for Men article that we thought might also be of interest to readers:
http://datedaily.com/2009/07/3_first_date_mistakes/2/
Thanks for the link, Rosy!
wait does anyone wanna answer me why men disappear after first date sex??? and what the hell we can do to get them back??
Lauren,
Men are all about the chase. And sex is pretty much the end of the chase. So a woman needs to make the guy wait. It is as simple as that….
Dear people of the world.
I personally think that sex on the first date is actually very good for relatioships.
Especially if you are promiscuous.
If you are really into sex (who isn’t) it means you will have a hook up buddy.
And that in my book is way better than any relationship.
PS- the pull out method really works.
Shelby,
It all comes down to why you’re on the date. If you’re only looking for a fling, go ahead and sleep with the guy by all means. But if you want a relationships, promiscuity is not gonna help.
Laura, you might already of worked this out but it sounds like this guy is a mormon (Mormons parents are very strict about dating ages) and 16 is considered the very minimum. Although this is usually a good thing cause it means he will be old enough to respect you.. Hope it worked out for you!
@laura
invite him to a thing with a group of friends (eg a movie). then just be with him.
After reading this article, I have realized that mistakes 1-4 are my best friends. I’m a very out going, independent, and attractive, however, I laugh constantly, I’ll have to much to drink at all the wrong possible moments, I have a hard time showing my vulnerable side, and I can be forward.
NOW, since I’ve come to realize what I’ve been doing is sending men screaming to the hills. What next?
Hi TayBay,
Well now that you know what you’ve been doing wrong, you can make a conscious effort to NOT repeat that on your next dates. I’m sure you’ll still have your share of goof-ups but as long as you’re putting in that effort, it’ll get better I promise. Good luck hun!