Whether you tell your best friend everything or have a ‘complete honesty’ policy with your boyfriend, there are some things that nobody else needs to know, and you’d be much better off keeping to yourself! Everyone is encouraged to share everything these days, but here are 10 things you really shouldn’t admit to anyone…
1 That You Talk to Your Cat
Okay, so most people talk to their animals, but no one needs to here that you talk to her in a baby voice, and sometimes try to feed her with a spoon. While your cat might love the attention, your friends will probably think it’s a little weird…(even if they secretly do it too!)
2 That You Once Peed in a Bush outside Your House
You might have been drinking all night, and been walking for ages, and just not been able to wait anymore, but it doesn’t really matter. Peeing outside is ikky, and will make other people think you are ikky. It might be immature, but it’s natural. Have you ever noticed how many guys pee outside at festivals? Well, there’s a reason no one talks to them after that. Ew.
3 That You Don’t Find Sex on the Beach Romantic
Romance novels are full of romantic beach scenes…but the beachs are always both stunning and deserted. And there is a picnic rug perfectly placed, the kisses are perfect and the whole thing is the most amazing experience in either persons lives. The reality? Sand will get EVERYWHERE, someone will start coming over at the worst possible moment and it’ll start to rain. Sigh.
4 You Fake Sophistication
Once a month, you go to an art gallery or exciting new art show…but are really, really bored. You just go to look sophisticated, and to be around other sophisticated people. And then you read the reviews online, and tell them to your friends like it was your opinion. Let them stay unaware…you look sophisticated, they’ve got a sophisticated friend. Everyone wins!
5 That You Couldn’t Find Iceland on a Map
Most people are terrible at geography. This will never be admitted, however. People will simply talk about the places they have seen shown on the news, or they have visited recently. Places closer to home? Sat navs are amazing for this…just track down a postcode, and you can pretend you know where everything is. Genius!
6 The Amazing Home Cooked Meal Your Boyfriend Talks about? Ready Made…
So you wanted to impress your boyfriend, or your friends, or your boyfriends friends, or his parents, and knocked up the most delicious three course meal…the only problem? You bought more of it then you made, and your boyfriend has told EVERYONE how amazing your cooking is. Well, they don’t need to know any different…just tell them you can’t cook in a crowded house, and keep the number for deliveries close by!
7 You Think Your Friends Baby Looks like Yoda
Okay, not all babies are cute. Actually, some newborns can be really, really ugly. But unless you are a guy, it’s a good idea to keep these thoughts to yourself, and stick to the generic “He’s so gorgeous!” coos. After all, his mum probably won’t find comparing him to Yoda funny, and you never know what your adorable baby will look like…
8 That You Once Dreamt You’d Snogged Your Uncle
I once had a friend who, after a few bottles of wine, decided it was a good idea to admit that she’d had a strange reoccuring dream. Not too odd...but when she said the dream involved getting steamy with his uncle, the whole party went silent. And it got a lot worse when somebody told her uncle...family barbeques were never the same again!
9 You Look at Your Crush’s Picture Several Times a Day
Everyone loves Facebook, but no one needs to know that you’ve got your crushes’ hottest picture bookmarked, and check it out three times a day. And before stressful meetings. And at tea breaks. And before you go home.
10 You Once Got Drunk and Slept with That Barman
The one with the dodgy eye, and the pervy reputation. But he plied you with free cocktails…and you enjoyed yourself, and would do it again in a heartbeat. Some guilty pleasures just don’t need to be revealed, and this is one of them. If needs be, admit to having a flirty cocktail together, and leave it at that.
Keeping up appearances can be hard work anyway, so you really don’t need to tell them that you can’t cook or that if you don’t pluck your eyebrows you get a monobrow. The first rule of elegance? Leaving things to the imagination! Have you thought of a secret that no one needs to know? Please tell me about it!
Top Photo Credit: cute(erthanyou)
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