Relationships can be a tightrope walk, much like trying to balance on a diet while surrounded by chocolate chip cookies. Let's face it, whether you're in the honeymoon phase or celebrating your silver anniversary, effective communication with your partner is not always a piece of cake. Having experienced multiple relationships through university and beyond, I’ve had my share of facepalm moments when I've blurted out things I wish I could reel back in. So, folks, gather around – if you're aiming to avoid awkward dinner table silences or outright disasters by June, 2024, sharing what you should never tell your man will save you from a lot of headaches.
Firstly, in any relationship, those typical highs and lows are only natural. However, there are certain phrases and sentences that work like a bulldozer in tearing down the goodwill you’ve built. For instance, telling your partner "You remind me of my ex," is akin to pouring hot sauce into his morning coffee – only without the fun viral prank outcome. As much as we wish for our partners to absorb feedback like a trustworthy sponge, some comparisons will definitely rub them the wrong way. No matter how innocuous it might seem in your head, comparing him to others is like waving a red flag in front of a bull, my friends.
Being mindful of your words doesn’t mean you have to walk on eggshells. Rather, treat it like choosing the right paint color for your living room. Some hues bring out the beauty of your space, while others can make you feel like you’re living inside a neon sign. Likewise, your choice of words is paramount to how well your message is received. Making offhand remarks about "how much weight he's gained" is a prime example of a conversational brick wall. If well-intentioned sarcasm is your communication style, it's always better to keep certain thoughts to yourself to avoid any unintended hurtful impacts.
Now, let’s dip into the depths of commitment for a minute. Bringing up touchy subjects can feel like navigating a minefield. We've all been in scenarios where emotional intelligence could’ve saved the day, but alas, hindsight is 20/20. Venturing into territory about his career choices or criticizing his hobbies without a legitimate reason is usually a one-way ticket to argument town. It’s the finer details and respect for each other's passions that keep the wheels of romance turning smoothly. After all, you wouldn’t want him to dismiss your love for knitting or binge-watching rom-coms, right?
If you're looking to steer clear of common pitfalls and maintain that sparkling connection, avoiding these conversational landmines is essential. Trust me, mastering few mindful communication hacks goes a long way – your future self, come June, 2024, will certainly thank you for it.
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That You Dislike His Mother ...
Even if he is currently angry at his Mom, it’s never a good idea to get involved, as they will definitely make up. Comfort him, and listen to him, but keep your opinions to yourself. His Mom is important to him, so knowing you don’t like her could undermine your whole relationship.
Never Tell Him His Friends Made a Pass at You ...
He’ll have to confront them, or things will be awkward, and if the friend swears he didn’t it could cause even more problems. Politely decline and keep quiet, unless he becomes a repeat offender.
Been Unfaithful in the past?
Keep it to yourself, or you’ll worry him. If he believes you’ve done it before, male friends and nights out will be even more risky, and he’ll automatically trust you less. Learn your lesson, and keep quiet.
Sharing past indiscretions, especially about infidelity, can install lasting insecurities in your partner's mind. Although honesty is often the best policy, revealing your infidelity might implant a seed of doubt that could sprout into unwarranted jealousy or suspicion in the future. It's crucial to reflect on your mistakes privately and commit to fidelity moving forward. While some may argue for full disclosure, in a relationship, sometimes the unspoken chapters of your history are best left closed if they serve no constructive purpose in your current chapter together.
Don't Tell Him That Your Best Friend is Cheating ...
He’ll start to presume that you discuss tactics, or that you’re cheating too. Act like infidelity is equal with murder, and you’ll cause a lot less suspicion.
Don’t Criticise His Body ...
He might not look as young as he used too, but neither do you, and if he is still making an effort then you’re doing well.
Believe in Him ...
When everyone else is doubting him, you have to be the one person who actually believes that he will achieve his dreams, and outperform everybody else..
And if You Don’t, Pretend You do ...
This will at least give him the confidence and drive to work harder, so that he doesn’t let you down.
Continuing with the guise of certainty can have surprising effects. It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy—belief inspires action. By projecting a sense of belief, even when you’re filled with doubts, you light a spark of ambition and purpose in him. It's about providing a cushion of positivity that can buffer against the hard knocks of reality. So, the next time he's unsure, your feigned confidence could be the nudge he needs to overcome his hesitations and stride forward towards achieving his goals. Remember, a little white lie in support of his potential isn't deception; it's encouragement in disguise.
Don’t Threaten to Leave ...
He’ll start to feel that you are just waiting for an excuse, so keep this for times that you really are thinking of leaving, or it’ll stop having any effect.
Don’t Let That Earning More than Him Bother You ...
Or it’ll bother him ten times more. He will already be struggling to handle this, so knowing that you think it makes him less of a man too will push him over the edge. Keep any bitchy comments in your head, and if you have to talk about it, confide in a trusted friend.
Don’t Confess to Crushes ...
You’d be upset if he constantly pointed out other people he’d love to get into bed, so don’t do it to him. That way he won’t get jealous, and you’ll be free to enjoy your crush without feeling guilty or upsetting him.
Never Tell Your Man How Many People You’ve Slept with ...
Keep the number small, but make sure you remember it. Sleep with too many and you’ll no doubt go down in his opinion, too little and he’ll know you're lying. Pick a small number and flatter his ego.
So edit the truth a little, and keep him, and your relationship happy.
Have you ever told a boyfriend something you shouldn’t, or do you have any advice for others who have? Share it with me!
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