10 Things to Not do in Bed ...


10 Things to Not do in Bed ...
10 Things to Not do in Bed ...

Everyone wants to be impressive in bed and many do annoying things without even realizing it. I have read a lot of things not to do in bed.

While some of it looks interesting to me, some of it does not look interesting to others, so you should be the judge of what both you and your partner likes.

However, I am going to give you a list of stuff that you may not find interesting…

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No Makeup "There"

Okay, putting lipstick on your nipples, concealer on your bum bum, mascara on that landing strip or bronzer on your decolletage is a definite no. I do not care how you stack it…


No Talking. Shshsh ...

Remaining silent as you are approaching orgasm and expressing it only through sign language. I do not know about you, but this definitely does not work. I mean, unless you just have to be quiet and you are in a public place. (naught you!)


No Weird Stuff on Your Skin

Get into bedb as you are covered in massage oil, whipped cream, baby oil, honey, hot wax, maple syrup, cherry pie filling, chocolate sauce, cookie dough, balsamic vinegar, olive oil, body paint, ice cream, orange sherbet, glitter or truffle oil. Unless of course, your partner asks you to…


No Swapping

Swap with the hairy exhibitionist swingers that live next door. (I just had to add this one in).


No Lipstick

Put on dark red lipstick before you perform fellatio and leave a record on his “member.” Okay, some guys dig this, but there are many who do not appreciate having red lipstick on the…


No Weird Names

Calling “it” a “member” or any other name other than its name. Unless, of course, you are talking dirty!


No Singing along

While you are in the reverse cowgirl position, giving him a foot massage and singing “I Touch Myself” and tongue wrestle with the three-piece band accompanying you on the foot of the bed may be a definite…NO.


No Laughing

You should never turn sex into a stand up comedy. Sure, you may be funny and you may be good, but telling jokes while making love can be a pretty big turn off. It’s a great seduction tool, but once you have landed the partner in bed, toss those jokes into the closet.


No Baby Talk

This one is for the guys…Using infantile pet names for body parts can be a turn off. Calling it a wee-wee…some on, she does not care what you call you penis as you are masturbating or telling jokes with your homies.


No Overdoing

Don’t forget about your physiological differences!
She is not a RealDoll made to withstand 250 pounds of pressure, nor is her vagina ready to receive pillow-pounding thrusts from the first moment of contact. The vagina has been made to receive maximum stimulation in the outer one to two inches and goes through a process known as tenting.

Do you have a list of things that someone may not find attractive while having sex? You know, other than the obvious…

Photo Credit: flickr.com

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Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

Lol no farting during sex .. Definetly a no no haha

:))) I just bust into laugh when I read the number 6 rule No Lipstick. You are totally right, or even better said, guys love lipstick resistant to transfer. I also like that part with No Makeup in bed...if u have smth to hide just turn off the light or wait for the night to come:)

imagine u r talking all the dirty wods u know n the guy wont utter a word not even a sign wen he is coming hallo!

But...But...But... I quite enjoy a laugh in bed. Though not in the midst of throes of passion and blah blah blah... But having a good laugh while being naked (or half naked depending on the place and the time) is awesome. I love it. No laughing. You just making it sound like a chore now. I want laughing. Not the point at things kind of laughing. But you get what I am talking.

@Sheila - Giggling? Nooooo... No giggling... and am not talking about only one person laughing... I am talking about laughing laughing you know like you are high or something...

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