10 Best Ways to Break the Ice When Meeting Someone New

Choose the Right Activity • Make Jokes • Show an Interest • Have a Plan • Avoid Complaining • More ...

10 Best Ways to Break the Ice When Meeting Someone New
By Melanie • Feb 5, 2010 MD

At times, it can be frustrating to try and figure out how to break the ice when meeting someone new. The worst part of meeting a person for the first time or going on that first date is the awkwardness. When you are getting ready to break the ice, sometimes it's better to have a plan in mind. Well, I have some tips for you, so it is time to get that ice pick ready and discover the best ways to break the ice!

  • Keep it natural and relaxed.
  • Show genuine interest in what they say.
  • Maintain a positive, friendly attitude.

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10. Choose the Right Activity

Choose the Right Activity Photo Credit: 'SeraphimC

The activity you choose should inspire conversation. I have found that plays, concerts, movies, and anything else related are not the best choices simply because the two of you will be sitting there in silence. I think galleries, museums, and festivals are the best places to inspire conversation. You can also check local event listings on sites like Eventbrite to find engaging activities near you.

9. Make Jokes

Make Jokes Photo Credit: Cisco Kid 71

It is fine to make jokes, just make sure it is not self-effacing humor. Avoid sitting there and making fun of other individuals. You should also avoid telling jokes about religious beliefs along with politics. If you are not comfortable with being funny, then just skip this one. It is important that you are comfortable and natural when learning how to break the ice with someone.

8. Show an Interest

Show an Interest Photo Credit: Matilde B.

When you are trying to break the ice with someone new, it is important that you show an interest. Just make sure you are careful and don’t get too personal too quick. Some safe topics include work, hometowns, pets, and music. I like asking questions that will show personality.

7. Have a Plan

Have a Plan Photo Credit: Kris Kros

You should always have a plan to fall back on. Have questions to draw out communication if necessary. As an example, be ready to ask “what are your top five favorite songs of all times?” or “If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?” This also ties back to showing an interest when talking. If you do not have a plan to fall back on, then you will end up sitting there in silence. Argh! No one likes silence!

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6. Avoid Complaining

Avoid Complaining Photo Credit: Kylzaw Photography

No matter what you do, avoid complaining. Try to keep the conversation as positive as you possibly can. No one wants to date a whiner and this would definitely be a must avoid dating blooper.

5. Avoid Bragging

Avoid Bragging Photo Credit: moosebite

Just like no one likes a whiner especially on the first date, no one likes a braggart either. Sure, you may have been head of the cheerleading squad in high school, you may have won a medal, all the guys liked you, but no one likes to hear you brag about those things.

| Topic to Avoid | Why It Fails | What to Say Instead | | --- | --- | --- | | Complaining | Creates negative energy | Share a positive recent experience | | Bragging | Comes across as arrogant | Express genuine curiosity | | Past relationships | Makes things awkward | Discuss hobbies and interests |

4. Avoid Foul Language

Avoid Foul Language Photo Credit: Peter Kurdulija

Yes, you are an adult and you like to act like an adult. However, you should leave the adult language at home. Especially since you are trying to break the ice. You do not want to give the wrong impression. Besides, a person talking dirty is not always a turn-on right out of the gate.

3. Listen

Listen Photo Credit: khalid almasoud

When the date is talking, you should listen and respond in a way that shows that you have been listening. Let the date know that their thoughts and feelings mean a lot to you. Allow them to steer the conversation. At the same time, give your input. Don't just sit there listening quietly. Showing them that you genuinely care will not only break the ice but is bound to get you a second date. Learning active listening skills from resources like MindTools can be incredibly helpful.

2. Do Not Frown

Do Not Frown Photo Credit: Yasin Hassan ( ياسين حسن )

Frowning is not going to get you anywhere. I do not know about you, but when I see someone frown, it seems to me as if they are not paying attention or that they just don't care. Besides no one likes Miss Grumpy Puss. So turn that frown upside down and smile!

1. Make Yourself Approachable

Make Yourself Approachable Photo Credit: For Ashlee

It is important that you make yourself approachable. Have that inviting look in your eyes. Be friendly. Smile. Maintain eye contact. Laugh at their jokes. Don't be too shy. I could go on and on. Basically be the kind of person you'd want to get to know.

Thankfully, breaking the ice has to be done only once (usually!). With these 10 easy-to-follow tips, you will be able to reach out to that new person easily. These are the 10 tips that I have personally used. Do you have any other advice? How do you break the ice when you meet someone new?

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Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

  • Theo

    2010-02-08T01:37:06.000Z

    I always wonder how we all make new friends in different situations...it just happens. I'm a big fan of ice breaker games and as you mentioned above showing interest and not coming off to intense (keep some things about yourself private don't shatter the ice ..break it gently :) )
  • Amy

    2010-02-06T04:25:42.000Z

    LOL! I remember that icebreakers commercial! If all fails, just whip that up =P my tip is just ask questions.. ppl love talking about themselves
  • Tavia

    2010-02-07T07:40:22.000Z

    Avoid bragging that should be a lesson for everyone to remember. I hate when I just meet new people and they start bragging about what great job they have, what great car, great life and after 3-4 days they start complaining. I'm wondering...hello just a couple of days later your life is just a dream....it turned into nightmare so fast? :) I'm evil sometimes but I can't help answering people based on the facts :)
  • Jenn

    2010-02-06T03:32:52.000Z

    Good tips.. now if I could remember all of them. Somehow I just tend to make things awkward.
  • September

    2010-02-25T19:06:34.000Z

    From my experiences the best way for me to break the ice is to walk up to someone and say "Hi! :) My name is September" It is amazing how often that works! :P
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