It’s "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" all over again. When we talk about feelings, why is it that men seem to have a hard time expressing themselves as compared to women? Is it because in a relationship, women have a greater emotional investment than men?
Take the big “I love you” declaration as an example. For men, saying these three little words require a huge effort - but the urge comes quite easily for most women. Similarly, in a fight, women like to dissect the emotional reasons behind the issues. For men? They want to skip the “Let’s talk” part and proceed ASAP to kissing and making up.
In the tradition of our top lists, here are the top 15 secrets behind the silence of the men =)
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It’s a Neurological Thing
Without the basic physical and psychological differencesbetween men and women, relationships would not be as exciting. Life would never be the same without experiencing the joys of falling in love and suffering the pains of a breakup.
Now, when it comes to talking about feelings, the culprit is the Corpus Callosum, the part of the brain which connects the left and right brain hemisphere. Let’s not go into the scientific stuff here - but the gist is that this part of the brain is larger in women than men. The result is that women can think and feel at the same time - while men naturally separate their feelings from what they are thinking. This creates their reluctance to talk about all that mushy stuff that women love to hash out.
The Corpus Callosum is not the only neurological difference between men and women that contributes to the differences in how they communicate. Studies have shown that men and women have different brain structures and activity patterns when it comes to language. Women tend to have more language-related areas in the brain, and men tend to have more areas that are associated with spatial reasoning. This could explain why men often have difficulty expressing their emotions in words.
Another neurological factor that could contribute to the gender differences in communication is the hormones that are released in men and women. Testosterone, the male hormone, is known to suppress emotions, while estrogen, the female hormone, is known to enhance emotions. This could explain why men have a difficult time expressing their feelings, while women tend to be more open and expressive.
Finally, it’s important to consider the social and cultural expectations that are placed on men and women. From a young age, boys are taught to be strong and independent, while girls are encouraged to be nurturing and emotional. This could influence how men and women communicate, with men being less likely to open up and express their feelings.
Afraid of Saying Something Wrong
Admit it - almost every woman feels like she can give Opraha run for her money as a talk show host. This is exactly what men are intimidated with. For the most part, men feel that if they open up about their feelings, women will put on their ‘psyche’ mode. They feel that saying the wrongthing will put them in a lot of trouble- that’s why they clam up. Giving them some a lot of leeway in this area is always a good idea.
Men are often stereotyped as being the strong and silent type, but this is not always the case. Many men are just as capable of expressing their feelings as women, but they may be afraid of saying something wrong or being judged. This fear can be attributed to a number of factors, such as the cultural expectation that men should not express their feelings, or the fear of being seen as weak or vulnerable.
Men may also be hesitant to open up about their feelings because they feel like they don't have the right words to express themselves. This can be especially true if a man is not used to talking about his feelings. He may worry that he will say something wrong or that he won't be able to articulate himself clearly.
Women can also contribute to this fear by being overly critical or judgemental of a man's feelings. This can be because of a misunderstanding of the feelings a man is expressing, or because of a lack of understanding of how men communicate differently from women.
Men Express Their Feelings through Action More than through Words
When your boyfriend has a bunch of flowers delivered to your office, it’s his way of saying that he’s thinking about you. When a relatively new beau plans for a long weekend that you two can go together next summer - it’s his way of saying that he plans to stick around for a long time. When he has your car sent to the mechanic for an engine check-up, its means that he cares a lot about your safety. The cliché actions speak louder than words applies when it comes to men’s feelings.
When it comes to expressing feelings, men often choose to do so through action rather than words. This is because men are often less comfortable discussing their feelings than women are. Men may feel that they don’t have the right words to express themselves, or they may feel that expressing their feelings through words is too vulnerable.
When a man does something thoughtful, like sending flowers to his partner’s office, it can be seen as a way for him to express his affection without having to use words. Similarly, when a man plans a long weekend getaway, it can be seen as a way for him to show his commitment to the relationship without having to say it out loud. And when a man takes care of his partner’s car, it can be seen as a way for him to express his care and concern for his partner’s safety.
These actions are often more meaningful than words because they show that the man is willing to go the extra mile to demonstrate his feelings. Actions often speak louder than words, and when it comes to men expressing their feelings, this is especially true.
Society Conditions Them
Women aren't the only ones who are urged to behave in certain ways due to their gender. Men are also conditioned to behave in certain ways by the media, their friends, and family. They believe that they aren't supposed to show their feelings, and so they don't.
Men are often taught to be strong and stoic, to never show any emotions, and to never talk about their feelings. This is a widely accepted societal norm, and it can have a negative impact on men's mental health. Studies have shown that men are more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues due to their inability to express their emotions.
Men are also more likely to turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse or self-harm to deal with their emotions. This is because they are conditioned to believe that talking about their feelings is a sign of weakness, and that they should just “man up” and deal with their problems without talking about them.
Unfortunately, the pressure to conform to these gender norms can be very damaging. Men may feel like they are not allowed to be vulnerable or express their emotions, which can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation. This can also lead to a feeling of inadequacy and a lack of self-worth.
They Don't Know How
Since men aren't conditioned to express their feelings, they might not know how. It's hard for someone to blurt out their innermost thoughts when they've always kept them a secret. It's hard for them to change if they don't know how to do so.
There are many reasons why men don’t talk about their feelings, and one of them is that they don’t know how. Men are often conditioned to not express their feelings, and it can be very difficult for them to break free from this conditioning and open up. This is because they have spent so much of their lives keeping their emotions and thoughts a secret.
This lack of knowledge of how to express their feelings can be a major obstacle for men, as it can be hard for them to make a change if they don’t know how to do so. Men may be afraid of expressing their feelings because they don’t know how to do it in a way that is socially acceptable or that won’t be judged by others.
Another factor that can contribute to men not talking about their feelings is the feeling of shame that can come with expressing emotions. Men may feel that if they express their feelings, they will be seen as weak or vulnerable. This fear of being judged can be a major deterrent to men talking about their feelings.
They Want to Feel Masculine
Crying is seen as a feminine thing. So is complaining. It's more masculine to fight and to avoid talking about your feelings. That's why most men will resort to physical violence with another man before they admit that they're hurt by something that was said to them.
Men are often taught from a young age to not express their emotions, as it is seen as a sign of weakness. This can lead to a lifetime of bottling up their feelings, which can lead to physical and mental health issues.
Men are socialized to be the “strong” ones, and to be the ones that “fix” things. This can lead to them feeling that they have to be the “tough guy” and not show any emotion. This can be especially true when it comes to admitting that they are hurt by something someone said to them.
Men who don't talk about their feelings can often be seen as “cool” or “macho”, which can be attractive to some people. This can lead to men feeling like they have to act a certain way in order to be seen as “manly”, and can lead to them not wanting to talk about their feelings.
Talking about your feelings forces you to think about your feelings. He'd rather bottle up his emotions so that he never has to think about them. He's basically running from his problems for as long as he possibly can.
It is a well-known fact that men are less likely to talk about their feelings than women. This is due to a variety of factors, including the idea that men are expected to be strong and stoic, and that showing emotion is seen as a sign of weakness. Unfortunately, this can have serious consequences, as bottling up your emotions can lead to physical and mental health problems.
For many men, talking about their feelings is uncomfortable and even painful. It forces them to confront their emotions, something that they may have been avoiding for a long time. This can be particularly difficult if they have experienced trauma, such as abuse or neglect, as they may not have had the opportunity to process their feelings in a healthy way.
In addition, men may not have the same support network as women, making it harder for them to talk about their feelings. Men are often less likely to have close friends or family members that they can open up to, and may not feel comfortable discussing their emotions with a professional.
They Don't Want to Be Judged
If your boyfriend admits that he's jealous of your friendship with another man, you might assume that he's insecure or weak. Now, those thoughts are the last things he wants. He would rather have you think highly of him and pretend that his feelings never get hurt.
Men often feel uncomfortable talking about their feelings with their partners, and this is especially true when it comes to jealousy. While it may be tempting to label a man who admits to feeling jealous as insecure or weak, this is not necessarily the case. In fact, it can be a sign of strength for a man to be able to admit to these feelings and discuss them openly.
Jealousy is a normal emotion, and it is important to remember that men are not immune to it. It is also important to remember that men can often feel threatened by the attention that their partners pay to other men. While it is important to maintain healthy boundaries in relationships, it is also important to be understanding and to try to address any feelings of jealousy that may arise.
It is important to remember that men are not always as open about their feelings as women are, so it is important to be patient and understanding when it comes to discussing difficult topics. Men may be more likely to open up if they feel that they are in a safe and supportive environment. It is also important to remember that men may need more time to process their feelings than women, so it is important to be patient and understanding when it comes to discussing difficult topics.
They Don't Think about Them
Some men don't discuss their feelings, because they honestly don't think about them. They're so good at pushing away their emotions that they don't even realize that they exist. It's an extreme form of escapism.
Men are often seen as the strong, stoic gender, and it is a stereotype that many men live up to. Unfortunately, this stereotype can lead to men not talking about their feelings and bottling them up inside.
Men might not talk about their feelings because they don’t think about them. This is especially true for men who have been taught to be strong and to not show emotion. In some cases, men might not even realize that they are feeling something because they have become so good at pushing away their emotions. This is an extreme form of escapism, and it can be detrimental to a man’s mental health.
Additionally, men might not talk about their feelings because they are afraid of being judged. In many cultures, men are expected to be tough and stoic, so men might be scared of being seen as weak if they open up about their feelings. Men are also less likely to seek out help when it comes to mental health, so they are more likely to keep their feelings to themselves.
They Release Pain Other Ways
Men don't want to talk about their emotions and cry to feel better. They'd rather play video games and take out their frustration by shooting characters, or go to the gym and release their energy by lifting weights. They release their emotions physically, not verbally.
Men often find it difficult to express their feelings verbally, and this can be due to a variety of factors. For example, some men may not feel comfortable discussing their emotions due to societal expectations or fear of judgement. Additionally, men may not have been taught to express themselves in a healthy way, so they may not know how to use language to communicate their feelings.
In order to cope with their emotions, men may turn to activities such as playing video games or going to the gym. These activities can provide an outlet for their frustration and a way to release their energy and emotions in a physical way. This can be beneficial for men as it can help them to feel better without having to talk about their feelings.
It is important to note, however, that while these activities can be helpful in the short term, they should not be used as a long-term solution. Men should be encouraged to talk about their feelings and learn healthy ways to express themselves. This could include talking to a therapist, joining a support group, or even just talking to a close friend or family member. Doing so can help men to feel better in the long run and to develop healthier coping skills.
They Were Raised Not to
Not all parents deserve to be parents. Some of them will yell at their child for voicing an opinion, whether they're male or female. If your boyfriend grew up in a household like that, then there's no wonder he's worried about telling you how he feels. He's been taught to keep his mouth shut, even when he's unhappy.
It is important to recognize that not all households are the same, and that some parents may have raised their children to not express their feelings. While this may be an effective parenting technique for some, it can have a negative impact on a child's mental and emotional health.
When a child is not allowed to express their feelings, it can lead to feelings of frustration, anger, and resentment. This can lead to difficulty in forming relationships, as the child may not be comfortable expressing their emotions. It can also lead to difficulty in expressing themselves in other areas of their life, such as their work or school.
In some cases, this lack of emotional expression can lead to a lack of connection with their parents, as the child may feel that their feelings are not being heard or taken seriously. This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, and can have a long-term impact on the child's mental health.
For a child who has been raised in this way, it can be difficult to open up and talk about their feelings. It can feel like a risk to express their emotions, as they may have been taught to keep their feelings to themselves. This can lead to a fear of being judged or criticized if they do express their feelings.
It Only Creates Problems
He loves you, so he doesn't want to fight with you. Expressing his feelings could start a fight with you, and that's the last thing he wants. In order to keep the peace, he'll suck it up and deal with whatever's bothering him on his own. He doesn't want to bring you into it.
When it comes to discussing their feelings, men often feel uncomfortable and out of their depth. They may not be sure how to express themselves or even know what they're feeling. This can lead to them bottling up their emotions and not wanting to talk about them.
This is especially true when it comes to relationships. Men may feel that expressing their feelings could start a fight with their partner and create more problems than it solves. They may be worried about the consequences of expressing themselves and prefer to keep the peace by not bringing their partner into it.
Unfortunately, this can be damaging in the long run. Not discussing their feelings can lead to the buildup of resentment and frustration. This can lead to unhealthy communication patterns, such as passive-aggressive behavior, and can even cause the relationship to break down.
It's important for men to be able to talk about their feelings in a safe and supportive environment. This could be with a partner, a friend, or a professional. Talking about their feelings can help them to better understand their emotions and can lead to healthier communication patterns. It can also help them to develop stronger relationships with their partners.
They'll Get Made Fun of
If a man talks about his feelings, his friends will make fun of him. They'll call him names and accuse him of being weak. Since men like to look good in front of their buddies, they'll never express their feelings in front of their pals.
This culture of mockery leads to a vicious cycle where expressing emotions is seen as forbidden ground. The mocking isn't just playful banter—it deepens the stigma attached to vulnerability and builds an almost impenetrable wall. In such environments, men may internalize the idea that they must uphold the facade of stoicism—to always be the rock, unwavering and unfeeling. This expectation to remain emotionally impenetrable not only alienates men from their peers should they show a crack in their armor but also takes a toll on their mental health and well-being in the long run.
It Forces Them to Look at Themselves
When you tell someone how you're feeling, they'll usually ask you why you're feeling that way. If he doesn't have an answer to the question, it'll force him to really think about it. If he doesn't want to psychoanalyze himself, then he's going to keep everything inside so that he doesn't have to.
When men don’t talk about their feelings, it can have a significant impact on their mental health. Studies have found that men often struggle to express their emotions, leading to a higher risk of depression and anxiety. Men who don’t talk about their feelings are also more likely to experience relationship conflict, as they may not be able to communicate their needs and desires effectively.
Furthermore, men who don’t talk about their feelings can become isolated and lonely. They may be less likely to reach out for help when they’re struggling, and may find it difficult to build meaningful relationships. This can lead to feelings of hopelessness and despair, and can even lead to substance abuse.
When men are encouraged to talk about their feelings, it forces them to look at themselves and their emotions in a more honest way. It can help them to gain insight into why they’re feeling a certain way, and to understand how their emotions are affecting their lives. Talking about feelings can also help men to build relationships with others, as they’ll be better able to express their needs and desires in a healthy way.
They Think It's Pointless
Some men have never benefitted from expressing their feelings, and so they think it's a pointless thing to do. Why waste time crying over something that he could ignore? He's never going to talk about his feelings unless he has a good enough reason to do so.
So instead of waiting for an undying declaration of love- look for those little and grand gestureswhich show rather than tell you how he feels.
This article was written in collaboration with editor Holly Riordan.
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