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7 Reasons Not to Have Sex during Your Teen Years ...

I know what you're thinking. Why shouldn’t you have sex? Yes, of course, you are young; but according to your own estimation as a teenager, you are old enough. You aren’t married, but in your very own opinion, that does not matter – so why should anyone else’s opinion matter? If you want to have sex, then what’s to stop you? Why should you refrain, wait, and abstain? In short, why should you not do something that in your own mind you believe is good? My last post on this topic stirred up a lot of people. Is that what I’m trying to do again? No, not really, I’m just posting this because some teenagers out there want and need different opinions. Take note, I am not strictly saying NOT to have sex before marriage. This is basically for ages 13-16.

7 Since before We Were Born, People Have Been Suffering from Dangerous Diseases

Since before We Were Born, People Have Been Suffering from Dangerous Diseases Photo Credit: Pink Sherbet Photography

The term today is STD – sexually transmitted disease. It only takes having sex one time with an infected partner to get infected yourself and having sex with more than one partner will increase those risks. Using a condom will reduce the chances, but, like Russian Roulette, you still have a bullet in that chamber and eventually you could get it. Do you trust that your partner isn’t having sex with someone else? Marriage certainly is not a perfect protection against a disease, but it is a lot safer than having sex with no other strings attached.

6 We Can’t Forget about Pregnancy

We Can’t Forget about Pregnancy Photo Credit: becca cahan

Each year, thousands of girls end up with a positivepregnancy test and they are abandoned by their boyfriends, so they are left to face these consequences alone. There is no easy choice to make. You have three options. You can have the baby and raise it yourself. You can have the baby and put it up for adoption. You can have the baby aborted so that no one has to raise it. Which choice will you make?

5 You Have Sex with Many Different People, then You Get Married

You Have Sex with Many Different People, then You Get Married Photo Credit: Princess Cy

What would your spouse think? I once read a blog by a girl complaining that her husband did not trust her. Why? Because in high school, she had slept with lots of guys and never thought anything of it. Her husband always wondered if his wife slept with any guy he ever met. He wonders if she’s cheating on him right now. The reaction from the husband is natural. Think about your future before you sleep with lots of different people.

4 When You Eventually Have Children, They Hear about Your High School Adventures

When You Eventually Have Children, They Hear about Your High School Adventures Photo Credit: Shana Rae {Florabella Collection}

When your children get old, what if someone told them how you were in high school? Now, if you slipped up and slept with one person, that’s understandable, but sleeping with a lot of people without care is not good. Do you want your children to say “but my mom did it, so shall I?" Again, the choice is yours and I’m not going to judge you personally. Just think about your future kids, whose lives will be affected.

3 Virginity is a Good Gift to Give Your Spouse

Virginity is a Good Gift to Give Your Spouse Photo Credit:** **spisharam - AWAY

I will tell you right now, I was 18 when I had sex and my husband was 18. He was my first and I was his first. Today, we have been married for 7 years. Maybe you could save yourself for the right one,the one that's willing to commithis life to you. It makes things even more sacred and beautiful.

2 Save Yourself from the Heartache

Save Yourself from the Heartache Photo Credit: Pëque

I couldn’t imagine giving up my virginity to some guy only to find that I got dumped and was used. I can’t imagine the heartache or how my husband would feel knowing that I was not his first. I guess I just thought about the future and didn’t let my guard down. If you don’t care about heartache, then go for it, but I know it’ll get to you eventually.

1 It’s Just Not Healthy

statue,sculpture,monument,flower, Photo Credit: Pink Sherbet Photography

Most of the time (I said MOST of the time), young people do not really know the individual they are having sex with. The only intimate thing about the relationship is the sex part of it. Did you meet his parents? What do they do in their spare time? What if they have a venereal disease or worse, AIDS or HIV. These relationships could cause many health ailments and infections.

Those are 7 reasons not to have sex during your teen years. I know, you probably hate me for saying all of that stuff, but I’m not trying to be a downer. I’m not religious and at the end of it all, it’s your own body. Talk back to me – I’m ready to hear it!

Top Photo Credit: margolove

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Comments

Soph This is really aimed at the spurs
huda I agree with most parts of this post! Protect yourselves ladies. It only takes one time to contract horrible diseases out there - and i'm guessing it's an awful experience, knowing some diseases are incurable and you have to live on with then for the rest of your life. That would scar some people for life. I don't necessarily think you should avoid sex altogether but i genuinely think people should practise polyamory more often - you restrict yourself to one person free of sexually transmitted diseases/infections and that way you minimise the chances of contracting sexually transmitted diseases so you save yourself from a lot of harm. That is not to say that the risks of your partner passing something on to you are extinct - it is possible if he doesn't remain committed to you, and that is why you should be careful about who you let in. Your own safety should be your number 1 priority.
Jazzy This article seems to have unequal expectations for males and female because it never once referes to how a husband should also be a virgin for his future wife. Virganity shouldnt be seen as a "gift" u give to someone but rather a demonstration of love and trust. When to have sex is a personal choice and one expectation doesnt fit every person or situation so thats y i think its important to be open minded.
Devin @alexa: Please explain how this is sexist when these reasons apply to both genders. It may have been written by a woman but it applies to teenage boys just as equally.
Abalene I agree with staying a virgin till marriage or some sort of commiment! But mine is not so much about ailments as much it is about aesthetics. I wish to be seen as innocent and pure by future husband. I want him to teach me about this act, not some zit faced boy in the back of his parent's car! All you feminists out there may think my motive is medieval but we all have our own views, right?
Lily First and foremost, I am sixteen and don't intend on having sex at all for several years, at least. That being said, I believe that it is a completely personal choice that one should weigh the consequences and possibility of pregnancy carefully, but I certainly don't condemn others my age for having sex. I do have several issues with this post. The first thing that came to mind after reading #5 was The Bell Jar, and how Esther felt it was completely unfair that Buddy had sex with plenty of women, while she, because she was a woman, was under pressure to remain "pure", and she resented him for that. Plath was correct that this double-standard was ridiculous in the 1960's, so why on earth is anyone still trying to push this preposterous idea in 2010? Aren't we past this? Almost the same thing goes for #3. How many men nowadays are really going to "save" their virginity for their spouse? Why should women be held to standards that men aren't being held to? I'm baffled why one would think that #2 would pertain solely to teens. Actually, I'm baffled why one would think that almost any of these would pertain solely to teens. The whole post could apply to people of all ages. The only big difference between teens and adults here is perhaps less judgement and maturity in some, but certainly not all teens, and how much harder pregnancy and motherhood are generally for teens than for adults, which, if I'm not mistaken, was not mentioned in this article. Besides, with this one I'm afraid I must tote the clichÃ© saying, "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." If you truly love someone, then it's going to hurt no matter what when you break up, but later you can hopefully look back on your relationship and remember the good times, not just the bad. What's wrong with looking back at having a close relationship with somebody? You're going to be heartbroken either way. "Most of the time (I said MOST of the time), young people do not really know the individual they are having sex with." What? Where on earth are you getting these statistics from? I'd certainly like to find that out. As a highschooler, I know plenty of other teens, and I can tell you that, aside from a few who clearly have issues with confidence and security, none of the ones who I know have had sex have ever known the person for less than three years and dated for less than a year, knowing their family well and being welcomed into their families homes like another child. Personally, I think it's much more likely for someone in their twenties to fall prey to having sex with someone they don't know very well, as they're more likely to be going to places like clubs. Also, where are you getting this idea that sex is unhealthy? Having sex with anyone with an STD is unhealthy, which is no news to anyone who's passed the six grade, what with the rigorous health curriculums nowadays. Newsflash: teens aren't the only ones who are open to STD's. Now then, I have never in my life read that sex is bad for you. In fact, it has been scientifically proven that it is good for your health, your immune system, stress, and all sorts of other things. Sorry, I realize that this post is a bit unorganized, but I can't think of any better ways to put it.
Jessica I Think with sex as a teen there are a few simple rules 1. wait till you can really trust the person your with so you KNOW your not being used I waited 10 month and by then any guy just after sex would have given up by then. 2. make sure you take it slow, go through all the motions of foreplay and get to know each other's bodies before doing the deed itself 3. Make sure you use some sort of contraception and be honest with each other and find out if they have slept with anyone else before you if so get them to have a test (if they do this for you, you know they love you) I think its wrong to say its wrong to have sex before marriage because we live in modern society and some people don't get married at all any more and i just don't think giving your virginity up is a great way to spend your wedding night because frankly your first time hurts. Id rather have a night of fun n passion rather than painfully and awkwardly trying to fit together for the first time. but iv got nothing against people with those beliefs Its just not my cup of tea.
Lindsey you focus mainly on meaningless sex as a teenager rather than sex for teens in genral i think the main isue for teens is that they think it is expected of them to lose there virginty in highschool or wait till marrige they see no in-between i think that there is no point deneying hormons and as long as both partners feel strong feelings toward each other and they practise safe sex there should be no problem... p.s congrads on 7 years may there be many more
- Melanie Lindsey, thank you. And I think it's fine to have sex, as long as it's not all about hormones, which is what a lot of it is at that age. I have heard so many teens say they wish they had waited to have sex until they wear ready, so I decided to write a post to maybe get the teenagers to think it through. In the end, if they feel they are ready for it and ready to put up with the consequences that could come out of it, then so be it. After all, it is human nature. It would look very bad if I wrote a blog encouraging teenagers to have sex! lol! That would be immature... Thank you and I urge you to read my other blogs. :-) Melanie
Miss I'm just curious, isn't your spouse supposed to love you, flaws and all? Noone has a perfect past, so I feel if you guys loved each other enough to get married the past should be in the past. That being said, I do think the past should be discussed before any major life decisions are made. Idk, I just think society puts 20/10 on virginity. It's special to some people, and it should be shared with someone special seeing as to how its your first time, but nothing is guaranteed. Not even marriage. You could lose your virginity to your spouse and divorce months later. That's just my opinion, not trying to attack anyone who's all for waiting...
Laura I must say, I don't agree with what you say right here. I don't think men will think poorly of you because you have slept with other guys before (and the guy you are talking about has some other serious issues in his relationship, that's just a facade issue), nor that they will be hurt to know that you're not their first. It's natural to experiment, and that's how you get to know yourself better. This is also how you become better at it. And for pregnancy, there's one more very simple option: abortion. No offense, but the reasons resonate more with various opinions my mother and grandmother used to have, and less with how people really think today. That having been said, there are other reasons why kids shouldn't have sex. STD's is a good one, and having other stuff to do in your life at that point is another.
Grace Ayesha, I just wanted to let you know that is NOT how it works. Just because the media shows you food, it isn't the reason you want to eat. You want to eat because it's natural and how we survive, sex is the same. It is no more shown know then it ever was, we just have media so it's more viewable instead of word of mouth like long ago.
Vanisha ages 13-16??? what about 17?? 18 is still very young, but youre an "adult" at that age. I proud to say that I just had my 23rd birthday may8 and I'm still a virgin :] lol i'm not religious.. so it's not that I'm waiting til i'm married.. I'm just very picky about that sort of stuff lol.
Ayesha I agree with everything in this post! Everyone else is probably brainwashed by TV and the modern day life style, so they think it's okay. But I'm supporting you on this one!
- Abalene Although I agree with this post, I don't get how this modernistic view is brainwashing? It is just following up equality for women since men are allowed to be promiscous (its not a good thing but often in history allowed).
- Melanie Thank you. Yes, people do get brainwashes, but hey, we're all entitled to our own opinions and thoughts. That is what makes us different.
Ann i sincerily think that this is a very good set of tips to young people;especially girls out there. don't get manipulated with sex by guys. guys will appreciate u more when they don't get to get you "that easy". ;D
Grace Personally I think that if we are safe and are only with the people we think we love. (not 3 week love, like 6 month love) then it's okay. People shouldn't judge it's biologically natural.
Liz I think this is good advice and will help alot of teens x
C'DAmbrosio I think reason # 5 is ridiculous and judgemental. You said that the reaction of the husband was natural, but in my eyes, it was anything but that. It reeked of paranoia, insecurity and the old archaic ideals about women remaining virgins until they're married off to their 'one true love'. The husband bases his distrust solely on the fact that she's had multiple sexual partners in the past. As long as she's been tested, and is STD free, I see no point in him being distrustful. He married her, he's supposed to be her husband, yet he's judging her for her past. Doesn't sound like a very loving husband to me.
- Abalene I completely agree! Although I'm saving myself for marriage, I agree. If women are equal as men, then why not destroy the view that women must be virgins while men are just gaining experience and sewing wild oats! If men are going to sew wild oats, the who with?
- Mo I happen to be a guy who stumbled across this blog. No woman has ever accused me of being judgemental or insecure. I have had no problems with my past girlfriends going out with any man they choose, even men who are clearly interested in them. I live by the motto "You have my trust until you break it." Once I have even been cheated on and that was by a woman with only one previous partner. That being said, I agree with the blogger. I have spoken with a lot of men and the majority think about the same thing. It probably won't be a deal breaker and we don't expect to marry virgins but limiting your partners and being picky makes us feel like the creme de le creme instead of some guy you just so happen to stumble into. I'd rather have a picky selective woman that someone who "just wanted to have fun" and doesn't have such high standards. As a matter of fact since that's what I want that's what I'm willing to give. Virginity is amazing in this day and age but celibacy is a huge second to me. I admire any woman who knows a guy who's willing to wait is a man who will truly love you. This isn't just my opinion. I've spoken to guy friends who are married and who are single. The majority agree that they don't care whether or not their woman is a virgin but they also shy away from woman with more partners them they have. Struggling to get into a woman's pants makes the woman worth her while. If she holds out all together then that's even better for a man looking to get married. If you wait until you get married, whether you are a virgin or not. Whoever you marry will know that he had to earn your physical affection and will have that peace of mind knowing you will hold out on any man well after you're married. Put the shoe on the other foot. You have a guy you love who has had over 300 lovers. He was easy and slept with you and any other woman interchangeably. He had no problems with being physical with any woman. How do you know you can trust him? Well he has to earn your trust. The ultimate way to do this would be for him to renounce every other woman but you. Celibacy. It may be selective but it's the sacrifice that makes you sure he's the one for you.
Noa I must say, i don't agree.. I do believe people shouldn't save themselves for after marriage.. but i do believe people should save themselves for true love. I don't think people should rush into it, and especially girls.. shouldn't think anything good of doing it randomly. personally, speaking from my personal experience, i've done it both ways (not with a lot of people), and i kinda regret not having only done it with my true love (i've had 2 true loves).. But my story is kinda different, as i was roofied and raped, and it kinda killed the virginity thing for me... i was kinda traumatized.

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