17 Obvious Signs of Cheating ... is He a Cheater?

Sheila

17 Obvious Signs of Cheating ... is He a Cheater?
17 Obvious Signs of Cheating ... is He a Cheater?

Every woman needs to know these obvious signs of cheating. Why? Well, no relationship is foolproof, least of all a marriage. And sometimes, when you've been with each other for so long, trouble may show its ugly face in the form of an extramarital affair. If and when that happens, you need to be prepared...starting off with knowing how to identify these 17 obvious signs of cheating...

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1. His Looks

His Looks So your husband has always been one of those guys who never bothered looking into the mirror more than once, never tucked in his shirt unless he had to, never cared that his socks were smelly, never wore deodorant unless you begged him to, but suddenly there's a metamorphosis. There are new clothes, haircuts, new shoes, maybe even a manicure and pedicure! Now, there's nothing wrong with taking care of yourself and wanting to look good, but when it's an overnight change, when you literally wake up to realize that your former slob of a husband has suddenly started to make a serious effort in the looks department, something is definitely brewing.

How to tell if he is cheating online? Read more!

2. Overtime at Work

Overtime at Work In all possibility, your poor husband could be working overtime just so that he can afford that necklace you wanted for your birthday or maybe there are other reasons for him to stay out of the house. Has something been bothering him at home? Has your relationship been very stressful of late? Have you spoken to him about it? Never assume that just because he's staying late at work, he's cheating. But if you have ruled out other options and can't see any other reasons for why he's unreachable at work, the unexplained meetings and sudden business trips, it's time to find out what's happening. The simplest way to find out the truth? Check his salary stub. If he has indeed been working overtime, his salary stub will show it. So get a hold of it and you might just be able to catch him cheating on you.

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3. New Found Love for an Old Car

New Found Love for an Old Car Gone are the days when your husband was more than okay with a bunch of old pizza boxes lying around in that junk of a car and having it smell like someone died in it. If you notice that he's suddenly been keeping his car squeaky clean to the point where he doesn't even want your hair brush in the glove compartment or toys on the back seat, it could be a sign that he's a) trying to do away with any indication of having a family, or b) using his car for “extracurricular” activities. You need to put on your spy glasses immediately and find out what's happening because this is quite an obvious sign of cheating.

4. Hairy Scary Evidence

Hairy Scary Evidence This one is such a classic. Imagine this, you are folding your husbands shirts when you chance upon a long blonde hair clinging to one of them. Now that's perfectly fine except you are a brunette and your children have brown hair! If you notice a trend with this hair thing, maybe it's time to question him. If your husband is having an extramarital affair, you better hope she has a hair loss problem. It will make your detective work so much easier. Maybe you should collect all the blonde hair, put them in a sachet and throw it on his face when you question him after you have confirmed that he's cheating on you.

5. Shy to Be Shirtless

Shy to Be Shirtless I remember this is how a friend caught an ex boyfriend's secret affair. Wearing a winter scarf in summer does not exactly scream faithful. Oh well! Here are some signs that he might be trying to hide an unexplained bruise: If he is suddenly "shy" to change in front of you; if he makes sure that the two of you only have sex in the dark; if he wants to shower with the bathroom door locked out of the blue; and if he usually walks around in just his shorts but lately has been covering himself up more than necessary. Could there be a more obvious sign of cheating?

***

Indeed, when a man suddenly starts guarding his bare torso as if it's Fort Knox, it's not paranoia to suspect something is amiss. Maybe he's developed a newfound modesty, or perhaps he's covering up telltale marks of passion that weren’t planted by you. Another red flag? If he's quick to grab a towel or a shirt the second he gets out of the water or after a workout, when he used to parade his physique with pride. Girl, those alarm bells ringing in your head? They might just be onto something. Keep your eyes peeled and trust your gut.

6. Stomach Oh-so-upset

Stomach Oh-so-upset If you ask him to catch up for lunch and he politely declines over and over again, making up ridiculous excuses, maybe he's busy doing something else during lunch break. Pay him a surprise visit at work, picnic basket et al, and see what you find. And as if that wasn't bad enough, he seems increasingly disinterested in the dinners you cook him even if they are his favorite dishes. He either has a bad tummy or just doesn't feel like eating. Well, he's gotta be eating somewhere and with someone, and a guy can only have so many "boys’ nights out."

7. What's That Smell

What's That Smell You HATE floral fragrances, so what's your husband's laundry doing smelling like it? Not only that, he reeks of it when he comes home late from work and even when he comes home supposedly after a guys’ night out. The nauseating smell becomes increasingly familiar and it's not yours! Women have a keener sense of smell than their male counterparts and you should use it to your advantage. If you are a hundred percent sure that you're not imagining it, work up the guts to ask him something like, "What's that new perfume you're wearing? Isn't it a little too floral for a man?" Watch his reaction. If he cringes or seems surprised even for a second, you know something's up.

8. Liar Liar: the Most Obvious Sign of Cheating

Liar Liar: the Most Obvious Sign of Cheating It's funny when men think they can lie to you and get away with it that easily. They obviously aren't aware of our ridiculously strong radar that can smell a lie a mile away. Now we all indulge in little white lies every now and then, and that's okay. But if you notice that your husband has been lying to you way too often, if he hasn't been looking you in the eye when asked where he was or why he's late and if he has one too many excuse for his actions, confront him. Too many cover ups = trouble.

9. Internet Love

Internet Love So you notice a sudden increase in your husband’s online activity. He is on his laptop ALL the time and you know it's not work related. He is suddenly very active on social networking sites and it's not just old friends he's catching up with. He even has new email accounts that you don't have the password to. Tip of the iceberg: When you suddenly walk into the room, he closes chat windows or the laptop screen itself and seems uncomfortable. Is he trying to hide his communication with someone? Possibly. If curiosity gets the better of you, try to look up his history to see if you can find something and if it has been erased, you know he definitely has something to hide.

***

This surge in digital secrecy can be disconcerting. Has he changed his passwords recently? That’s another red flag. And if your gut instincts tell you that those lengthy online sessions are more intimate than innocent, trust that feeling. The virtual world offers endless possibilities for emotional affairs. Aside from snooping—which can breach trust and backfire—consider an open, honest conversation about your concerns. Approach him calmly, without accusations. A cheater might deflect or gaslight, but your emotional connection deserves transparency. Remember, it’s not just his online activity but how he reacts to your concerns that tells the real story.

10. Bank Statements

Bank Statements It's your turn to bring in the mail and you happen to glance at your husband’s bank statement. And what do you see? A couple of confusing charges. Maybe some payments made to a lingerie store. Now you know he didn't get you anything and obviously he wasn't buying himself a thong from Victoria's Secret. And then there's that charge by a jewelry store and one too many payments made at nice restaurants. You would know if you were at dinner with him and you very well know that you haven't received any gifts from him in months! Just make sure your birthday or anniversary isn't around the corner before you scream at him asking him who he's buying all this stuff for.

11. Dry Spells

Dry Spells When was the last time the two of you got hot and heavy? When was the last time you even kissed passionately? Has there been a serious slack in the bedroom department? Now all couples have their ups and downs, and dry spells are as common as snow in winter. But if you've been "dry" for way too long and any effort you make is being met with a negative response, maybe it’s time to bring it up.

12. Secret Conversations

Secret Conversations Do you ever catch him talking in a low voice or quickly finishing conversations when he sees you? Does he always keep his phone close by or leave the room when he gets a call? A person who isn’t doing anything wrong has no reason to do any of the above. If he’s not planning a surprise for you, there’s no reason to be so secretive when he’s on the phone! If you haven’t already asked what he’s up to, start asking!

13. Picking Fights

Picking Fights Have you noticed an increase in arguments and fights lately? Does your partner get upset over silly things and storm out of the house? This can be a way for him to cool off or it could give him an out to leave and meet the other woman. If he’s looking for reasons to get mad and leave, try to resolve the issue before he leaves to see how he reacts.

14. He Accuses You of Cheating

He Accuses You of Cheating Another one of the signs of cheating is when he accuses you of cheating. It might seem weird, but many people do this because of the guilt they feel for cheating. If he has no reason to suspect that you are cheating, there should be no reason for him to accuse you of it. The next time he brings it up, try talking to him about it and asking him why he feels this way. He really has no reason to be accusing you!

***

Accusing someone of cheating without any evidence is a tell-tale sign of cheating. It could be a sign of guilt, or a way of deflecting attention away from their own cheating. If your partner has accused you of cheating without any reason, it could be a sign that they are cheating themselves. It is important to talk to your partner and ask why they feel this way. If they are cheating, they may not be honest about it, but if they are honest, it could be a sign of trust and respect in the relationship. It is important to address this issue as soon as possible to ensure that the relationship is healthy and honest.

15. Need for Privacy

Need for Privacy Having a sudden need for privacy can be another red flag of a cheating partner. Just like with the secret phone calls, if he all of a sudden feels the need to have his privacy and private time, you have a right to be suspicious. Trust is a huge part of a relationship and it’s very suspect that your man would want to start keeping things from you. If he desires more time alone along with some of these other signs, he could be up to no good!

16. Mood Swings

Mood Swings Have you noticed your partner is moodier than before? Does he appear to be happy and in good spirits when he’s leaving home but when he comes home he’s sad and withdrawn? If he’s involved with another person, the problems from that relationship could be spilling over into this one.

17. Cold Shoulder

Cold Shoulder When someone is cheating, it might start feeling like you’re growing apart. He might start communicating less and less with you or start giving you the cold shoulder and becoming increasingly emotionally detached. He might not be as caring as he used to be or you might feel like he’s just a roommate because he’s emotionally invested in someone else.

So there! Quite easy to catch on to these obvious signs of cheating, don't you think? If you are convinced, here are some ways to find out the person with whom he's cheating. Just remember that your instinct is your best friend. If you think something's up, something probably is. Also remember the two Cs: confrontation and communication. They are both better options than beating yourself up over it. Please do share your experiences... obvious signs of cheating that you missed and how you reacted once you found out he was cheating on you. I'm sure others in the same situation would love to know...

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

His parents dont mind he says his siter ivites her but I just need someone to say is thos jealousy im feeling r am I just geetting played

i there i have been with my boyfriend for 10yrs now and we have 4 children which my youngest is now 9 weeks old and i had been sleeping down stairs as iv been to tired to go to bed and i didn't have my depo injection but when we 1st meet i found out he was doing drugs herion coke valums and i stood by him he has also kept him self tidy he has been clean for drugs but found out he was dabbling drugs so i went mad and where he come of herion he had as still drinking achole he does go out alot which i have trusted him as we are both well known in our town and friends of friends knows us so if he had then i would defo hear if he was going with another girl but i don't know if i am just being paranoid now as just before christmas i was going though his phone just random wasn't looking for anything and i was talking to my friend on the phone which was early hours and for some strange reason i rang this number as i saw a girls names and rang her going off one saying have you been haveing it of with my boyfriend if so i want 2 know etc ( bareing in mind i have always ask who people are if i don't know them but this time i didn't i just rang the girl with out asking my boyfriend) few days before we had a massive bust up as few peeps had been stirring saying i said that i could get rid of him when i never said nufin like that i was on fb jokeing around stateing that he is always there they said yeh he part of the furniture i said he can live with you i don't mine that was it so he come in saying that and left for a few days which i only had the 3 kids then but didn't know i was pregnant but where we ad massive argument the police got involved n he wasn't allowed near me as the treated it as domestic violice even thoe he never layed finger on me but we argued as i started getting insure when the girl had said he only stayed for one poksi night so i was like wot i was upset n chucking my guts up as i felt sick as i have been abused by my mothers husband in pass so didnt help me my rang me m8 n told her as i tried rining the girl again as i wanted answers but she wudn't pick up so my m8 said to send her a nice text and mention that i don't want to marry sum one who as cheated she replied bk n my m8 said she doesn't see any reason that he as cheated on me so i asked another friend n she said same so i thought id play it cool etc then my partners cousin broad casted over fb sayin he cheated but she likes to cause trouble anyways so i rang this girl and she answered her phone as before that as well i found out her last name her address and home phone so i left a message don't ask how i done it but it was gut feeling n fb but anyways i rang her too let her know what my bfs cuzin was puttin on fb she said yeh she was guna comment but didn't cuz wot i wrote which was understanable as i said ill go to there work etc as the bird is there as well this bird told me alot of info abt her n her kids n that she goes to collage etc so i though well if they were haveing it off then she wouldn't b that open in telling me all that and what school her kids goes to so we sorted it out and everyone who iv spoken to said she not like that so i just ignored but been paranoid ever since but i decide i would sleep up stairs n 1st 2 nite we done nufin and tonight we did and he was rough which he has done the same in past before so my head is all over the place and i know he been taking valum and he does drink alot but he was rough and im not sure i though if men not had sex for a while they come quit quickly or can they not have sex for few weeks n be rough in bed n last bit longer he is very owquid 2 work out as he never ad proper convos and at the moment it can b slly things that sets me off thinking he is cheating on me is there anything i culd ask him or do to see if he is going behind my back and also he has always delted his messages etc since we meet and he does have es phone on the side but i keep thing he could tell her not to text n that he text her when not with me its really tearing me apart as i duno wot else to do and my paranioa is destroying me esp if he not cheating on me

hi im married for 2 yrs 6 months my hsband and i harldy have sex we have sex maybe once n 3 or 6 months he says i have gained weight he goes out often and says its a boys night out once i went on his phone n found out he was at a girls party his on drugs atm his diabetic as well i am trying too loose weight but i dont know wheater i should go for a divorce thxs

I have only been married 1 year and already I'm wondering if he's cheating. He works out of town for weeks at a time, which I can handle considering the job he has. He has been extremely concious of his weight and what he eats, and has an obsession with going to the gym, again I can understand since he was in great shape when we met, but gained a little extra while I was pregnant with our son. He always leaves the room, or goes outside to talk on the phone but with 2 kids playing and watching cartoons, it can be hard to hear the other person talking. All of these things I can handle, and tell myself there is a reason for them all... The one thing that I can not understand is why, after only one year of being married, when we are supposed to be in the "honeymoon" stage, we rarely have sex any more. Even when the kids are at grandma's and it's just the two of us, home alone...there is always some reason why we "can't"...he's tired, he's sore from the gym, or he just doesn't feel like it because he's just lost his "drive" at the ripe old age of 29!!! WTF. I can count on my fingers how many times we've been intimate (and I use that term loosely considering the fact that each time we've had sex, it has been really quick and as soon as he's done, we're done). It's like he's only doing it to shut me up (once every 2 months). I've tried everything. I've tried to initiate it by giving him a massage, and things of that nature, no luck. I've tried ignoring the problem, and waiting on him to suggest it, again no luck. I've even tried begging, or just taking it!!! NO LUCK. Which leads me to believe he could be finding it elsewhere. He assures me that he isn't , but I learned a long time ago that once you start suspecting someone is cheating, they usually are. I just need to figure out how to prove it, or hope to be proven wrong!

Just to finish my story. This morning I discovered that he has send his private parts to another girl. When I confront him he says ther is nothing between him and this girl they are just friends. He even wrote an email apologising that he wouldn't like to jeopidise our merriage with nothing, went on to explain how he respects me. How do I forgive this man?

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