17 Obvious Signs of Cheating ... is He a Cheater?

Sheila Aug 18, 2023

17 Obvious Signs of Cheating ... is He a Cheater?
17 Obvious Signs of Cheating ... is He a Cheater?

Every woman needs to know these obvious signs of cheating. Why? Well, no relationship is foolproof, least of all a marriage. And sometimes, when you've been with each other for so long, trouble may show its ugly face in the form of an extramarital affair. If and when that happens, you need to be prepared...starting off with knowing how to identify these 17 obvious signs of cheating...

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1. His Looks

His Looks So your husband has always been one of those guys who never bothered looking into the mirror more than once, never tucked in his shirt unless he had to, never cared that his socks were smelly, never wore deodorant unless you begged him to, but suddenly there's a metamorphosis. There are new clothes, haircuts, new shoes, maybe even a manicure and pedicure! Now, there's nothing wrong with taking care of yourself and wanting to look good, but when it's an overnight change, when you literally wake up to realize that your former slob of a husband has suddenly started to make a serious effort in the looks department, something is definitely brewing.

How to tell if he is cheating online? Read more!

2. Overtime at Work

Overtime at Work In all possibility, your poor husband could be working overtime just so that he can afford that necklace you wanted for your birthday or maybe there are other reasons for him to stay out of the house. Has something been bothering him at home? Has your relationship been very stressful of late? Have you spoken to him about it? Never assume that just because he's staying late at work, he's cheating. But if you have ruled out other options and can't see any other reasons for why he's unreachable at work, the unexplained meetings and sudden business trips, it's time to find out what's happening. The simplest way to find out the truth? Check his salary stub. If he has indeed been working overtime, his salary stub will show it. So get a hold of it and you might just be able to catch him cheating on you.

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3. New Found Love for an Old Car

New Found Love for an Old Car Gone are the days when your husband was more than okay with a bunch of old pizza boxes lying around in that junk of a car and having it smell like someone died in it. If you notice that he's suddenly been keeping his car squeaky clean to the point where he doesn't even want your hair brush in the glove compartment or toys on the back seat, it could be a sign that he's a) trying to do away with any indication of having a family, or b) using his car for “extracurricular” activities. You need to put on your spy glasses immediately and find out what's happening because this is quite an obvious sign of cheating.

4. Hairy Scary Evidence

Hairy Scary Evidence This one is such a classic. Imagine this, you are folding your husbands shirts when you chance upon a long blonde hair clinging to one of them. Now that's perfectly fine except you are a brunette and your children have brown hair! If you notice a trend with this hair thing, maybe it's time to question him. If your husband is having an extramarital affair, you better hope she has a hair loss problem. It will make your detective work so much easier. Maybe you should collect all the blonde hair, put them in a sachet and throw it on his face when you question him after you have confirmed that he's cheating on you.

5. Shy to Be Shirtless

Shy to Be Shirtless I remember this is how a friend caught an ex boyfriend's secret affair. Wearing a winter scarf in summer does not exactly scream faithful. Oh well! Here are some signs that he might be trying to hide an unexplained bruise: If he is suddenly "shy" to change in front of you; if he makes sure that the two of you only have sex in the dark; if he wants to shower with the bathroom door locked out of the blue; and if he usually walks around in just his shorts but lately has been covering himself up more than necessary. Could there be a more obvious sign of cheating?

***

Indeed, when a man suddenly starts guarding his bare torso as if it's Fort Knox, it's not paranoia to suspect something is amiss. Maybe he's developed a newfound modesty, or perhaps he's covering up telltale marks of passion that weren’t planted by you. Another red flag? If he's quick to grab a towel or a shirt the second he gets out of the water or after a workout, when he used to parade his physique with pride. Girl, those alarm bells ringing in your head? They might just be onto something. Keep your eyes peeled and trust your gut.

6. Stomach Oh-so-upset

Stomach Oh-so-upset If you ask him to catch up for lunch and he politely declines over and over again, making up ridiculous excuses, maybe he's busy doing something else during lunch break. Pay him a surprise visit at work, picnic basket et al, and see what you find. And as if that wasn't bad enough, he seems increasingly disinterested in the dinners you cook him even if they are his favorite dishes. He either has a bad tummy or just doesn't feel like eating. Well, he's gotta be eating somewhere and with someone, and a guy can only have so many "boys’ nights out."

7. What's That Smell

What's That Smell You HATE floral fragrances, so what's your husband's laundry doing smelling like it? Not only that, he reeks of it when he comes home late from work and even when he comes home supposedly after a guys’ night out. The nauseating smell becomes increasingly familiar and it's not yours! Women have a keener sense of smell than their male counterparts and you should use it to your advantage. If you are a hundred percent sure that you're not imagining it, work up the guts to ask him something like, "What's that new perfume you're wearing? Isn't it a little too floral for a man?" Watch his reaction. If he cringes or seems surprised even for a second, you know something's up.

8. Liar Liar: the Most Obvious Sign of Cheating

Liar Liar: the Most Obvious Sign of Cheating It's funny when men think they can lie to you and get away with it that easily. They obviously aren't aware of our ridiculously strong radar that can smell a lie a mile away. Now we all indulge in little white lies every now and then, and that's okay. But if you notice that your husband has been lying to you way too often, if he hasn't been looking you in the eye when asked where he was or why he's late and if he has one too many excuse for his actions, confront him. Too many cover ups = trouble.

9. Internet Love

Internet Love So you notice a sudden increase in your husband’s online activity. He is on his laptop ALL the time and you know it's not work related. He is suddenly very active on social networking sites and it's not just old friends he's catching up with. He even has new email accounts that you don't have the password to. Tip of the iceberg: When you suddenly walk into the room, he closes chat windows or the laptop screen itself and seems uncomfortable. Is he trying to hide his communication with someone? Possibly. If curiosity gets the better of you, try to look up his history to see if you can find something and if it has been erased, you know he definitely has something to hide.

***

This surge in digital secrecy can be disconcerting. Has he changed his passwords recently? That’s another red flag. And if your gut instincts tell you that those lengthy online sessions are more intimate than innocent, trust that feeling. The virtual world offers endless possibilities for emotional affairs. Aside from snooping—which can breach trust and backfire—consider an open, honest conversation about your concerns. Approach him calmly, without accusations. A cheater might deflect or gaslight, but your emotional connection deserves transparency. Remember, it’s not just his online activity but how he reacts to your concerns that tells the real story.

10. Bank Statements

Bank Statements It's your turn to bring in the mail and you happen to glance at your husband’s bank statement. And what do you see? A couple of confusing charges. Maybe some payments made to a lingerie store. Now you know he didn't get you anything and obviously he wasn't buying himself a thong from Victoria's Secret. And then there's that charge by a jewelry store and one too many payments made at nice restaurants. You would know if you were at dinner with him and you very well know that you haven't received any gifts from him in months! Just make sure your birthday or anniversary isn't around the corner before you scream at him asking him who he's buying all this stuff for.

11. Dry Spells

Dry Spells When was the last time the two of you got hot and heavy? When was the last time you even kissed passionately? Has there been a serious slack in the bedroom department? Now all couples have their ups and downs, and dry spells are as common as snow in winter. But if you've been "dry" for way too long and any effort you make is being met with a negative response, maybe it’s time to bring it up.

12. Secret Conversations

Secret Conversations Do you ever catch him talking in a low voice or quickly finishing conversations when he sees you? Does he always keep his phone close by or leave the room when he gets a call? A person who isn’t doing anything wrong has no reason to do any of the above. If he’s not planning a surprise for you, there’s no reason to be so secretive when he’s on the phone! If you haven’t already asked what he’s up to, start asking!

13. Picking Fights

Picking Fights Have you noticed an increase in arguments and fights lately? Does your partner get upset over silly things and storm out of the house? This can be a way for him to cool off or it could give him an out to leave and meet the other woman. If he’s looking for reasons to get mad and leave, try to resolve the issue before he leaves to see how he reacts.

14. He Accuses You of Cheating

He Accuses You of Cheating Another one of the signs of cheating is when he accuses you of cheating. It might seem weird, but many people do this because of the guilt they feel for cheating. If he has no reason to suspect that you are cheating, there should be no reason for him to accuse you of it. The next time he brings it up, try talking to him about it and asking him why he feels this way. He really has no reason to be accusing you!

***

Accusing someone of cheating without any evidence is a tell-tale sign of cheating. It could be a sign of guilt, or a way of deflecting attention away from their own cheating. If your partner has accused you of cheating without any reason, it could be a sign that they are cheating themselves. It is important to talk to your partner and ask why they feel this way. If they are cheating, they may not be honest about it, but if they are honest, it could be a sign of trust and respect in the relationship. It is important to address this issue as soon as possible to ensure that the relationship is healthy and honest.

15. Need for Privacy

Need for Privacy Having a sudden need for privacy can be another red flag of a cheating partner. Just like with the secret phone calls, if he all of a sudden feels the need to have his privacy and private time, you have a right to be suspicious. Trust is a huge part of a relationship and it’s very suspect that your man would want to start keeping things from you. If he desires more time alone along with some of these other signs, he could be up to no good!

16. Mood Swings

Mood Swings Have you noticed your partner is moodier than before? Does he appear to be happy and in good spirits when he’s leaving home but when he comes home he’s sad and withdrawn? If he’s involved with another person, the problems from that relationship could be spilling over into this one.

17. Cold Shoulder

Cold Shoulder When someone is cheating, it might start feeling like you’re growing apart. He might start communicating less and less with you or start giving you the cold shoulder and becoming increasingly emotionally detached. He might not be as caring as he used to be or you might feel like he’s just a roommate because he’s emotionally invested in someone else.

So there! Quite easy to catch on to these obvious signs of cheating, don't you think? If you are convinced, here are some ways to find out the person with whom he's cheating. Just remember that your instinct is your best friend. If you think something's up, something probably is. Also remember the two Cs: confrontation and communication. They are both better options than beating yourself up over it. Please do share your experiences... obvious signs of cheating that you missed and how you reacted once you found out he was cheating on you. I'm sure others in the same situation would love to know...

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

We have been married fourteen years with no children. When we were dating he was so romantic. I was 19 and he was 21. We got married within 4 months of knowing each other. As time went by he quit being romantic and expected sex. He would just make excuses to cover his butt up with everything and it is my fault. He recently told me that he had a emotionall affair when we lived in another state. There was a strange phone call from a woman the other night , on his cell phone. Kept on asking me who I was. I just hung on her. He is so withdrawn from me. I asked him if he was in love with me.. just gave me a weird look. I asked him again ten min later and he said yes. When I know he was lying to me. We went away last weekend with my family. He just kept walking away at the musem. He held my hand that weekend twice and I was the one grabbing his hand. The rest of the time he would walk so far behind me. He made the excuse that I walking to fast. He says he doesnt want a divorce. I have made mistakes 2 but I have corrected them and changed for the better. My family loves him alot and they think he is a good man. They don't know him like I do. I cant take this anymore !

My bf of nearly a year is getting texts from 3 diff girls i know of and he keeps his phone in his pocket on vibrate. One he goes to meetings with and says he has texted her right in front of me b4 yet i just found out about her a few weeks ago even though he says he's known her nearly our whole relationship. I only found out about her because she texted him and I saw it by accident. Plus a guy from their class called asking my bf if he had seen her lately. I thought it strange someone would ask him if he'd seen a girl he suppodly doens't hang out with ever! He told me he has given her a ride b4. He says they talk but once a week and she is just an aquaintance. But she has texted him several times since i have become more aware. B4 he was always telling me it was his friend texting and I thought the friend texted a lot but i never thought otherwise until i saw a text from another girl and now that im aware, when b4 I wasnt. I wonder y he didnt tell me about these girls in the first place if they are just friends or whatever and y i found out about them by accident. He's had a pic of a girl on his phone that was recent and he said it was his x wifes friend sending him a pic of her new hair color. He had a girl text him at midnight and said she was a friend from class. He is so good to me and treats me so good but I just don't understand this girl thing. I tell him he can text them back in front of me and he refuses and gets soooo mad and says he is going to leave because I don't trust him and trust is so important to him. I always end up backing off and appologizing and feeling crazy. I guess what I want to know is if I am or if it sounds like he is up to no good. He told me he used to have full on sexual convose with other girls right in front of his gfs without them knowing but its different with me because he is in love with me and wasnt with them. I sure hope it's just me because I am so in love with this man and he is with me as well.He includes me in all his family stuff and all his friends know he is with me. I don't want to ruin our relationship by worrying if it's just me being crazy!

I think my boyfriend loves another girl in my own CLASS he always hangin with her and I hate meanwhile im only 10 years of age

let him go. u are more stronger than u think it may hurt really bad but sometime u just have to give him his time.And u will see he will come back only to find u more happy than u have ever been in a long time.

hi there, i have a 8 year relationship wid my boyfriend..i have checked on him many a times but never found anything to doubt about his character he was always faithful to me...but last 6 months our relationship was going thru a rough patch with on and off break-ups and recently i found other girl's msgs on his cell i cld dat person and she told me dat she was there wid him in his work place and he was flirting wid her frm last 1 month and also she knw abt me..i mean he used to discuss abt our relationship wid her and then he asked her for a dinner where they got drunk and had a night out...initially my boyfriend denied all this bt nw at sum point he accepted it and is feeling guilty abt it...wat shud i do...i mean whether i shud forgive him or forget him....

my husband called a girl's name while sleeping. At first i didnt confront him cos i did believe what i heard. For the 2nd time i woke him up nd ask him who is he calling nd when he call that name he streches his arm to touch me. But he denies knowing someone of that name he says it is just a dream. Pls help with advices

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