I was married for six years when I found out my husband was having an affair. I was devastated, but when I looked back, I knew I ought to have seen the signs. How to tell if your guy is cheating? Here are some ways…
Snapshot Survey
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He Starts Taking Better Care of Himself
If he starts working out, or wearing nicer clothes, he may not be doing it just for you. He might be doing it to impress someone else.
When a man suddenly shows an unsettling interest in grooming habits or altering his appearance drastically, it could be a red flag. Perhaps he has invested in new colognes or is fastidious about his hair. Maybe there's a newfound obsession with his physique that includes diet changes or a rigorous gym schedule. While self-improvement is commendable, if these changes are accompanied by secretive behavior or do not include you in his renewed zest for life, they may point towards an external romantic interest igniting this transformation.
His Taste in Music Changes
If his iPod used to be full of Death cab for Cutie, but now he’s listening to Kenny Chesney, he might be seeing someone who is encouraging his new taste in music.
It's natural for people to explore different genres, but a drastic shift might suggest influence from a new romantic interest, particularly if he's enthusiastic about songs or artists he previously overlooked. Pay attention if he's suddenly attending country music concerts or learning to line-dance, especially if he's doing so without you. His newfound passion might be more than just a phase—it could be a clue that there's a significant other who's imprinting their preferences on him. This is especially telling if the music he’s into now is something he once couldn't stand.
He Spends a Lot Less Time with You
If he blows you off on your usual date night once in a while, that’s one thing. But if all of a sudden he doesn’t want to spend any time alone with you, he might be feeling guilty.
Occasional schedule conflicts are understandable, but a marked decrease in quality time can raise red flags. Pay attention if he's repetitively choosing friends, hobbies, or work over moments with you, especially if these excuses seem out of character. It could be a sign that he's distancing himself due to feelings of guilt or preoccupation with someone else. Trust your intuition; if your shared moments are dwindling without a clear reason, it might be time to have a candid conversation about where your relationship stands.
He Has New Friends You Haven’t Met before
If he is always talking about friends, male or female, that he’s never really mentioned before, they might actually be HER friends.
When your man starts spending time with a new circle, and you're never introduced despite opportunities, it could be a sign something is amiss. Especially if he's evasive when you ask about them, or makes plans that don't include you, using vague excuses. Socializing separately once in a while is healthy, but secrecy surrounding these friendships could indicate a deeper problem. Keeping an eye on how he speaks about these friends—the fondness or frequency—might give you a clue about whether they're simply new buddies or possibly connected to infidelity.
He Hides His Cell Phone Texts or Calls
If he’s always sending calls to voicemail when you’re together, or if he takes his phone in the bathroom with him, you may need to wonder.
Keeping his phone on silent, snatching it up the moment it buzzes, or consistently positioning it face down can also raise red flags. Not only does he avoid sharing what’s on the screen, but he may also clear his text history or hurriedly close apps as you walk by. This desire for privacy might not be concerning on its own, but combined with other secretive behaviors, it could hint at attempts to conceal communications that he doesn’t want you to see. Trust your gut—if his relationship with his phone seems to be changing, it’s worth considering why.
He Treats You Differently
If he seems distant or on edge or is more critical of you than usual, he may be trying to get YOU to dump HIM. He might be stressed about school or work, but typically, if a guy starts treating you differently than before, something else is going on.
It's all about the subtle yet significant shifts in his behavior. If he used to be attentive and loving, but now avoids eye contact and seems irritable, trust your instincts. Communication is key in relationships, and if you're no longer in the loop of his daily life, it's possible he's investing time and energy elsewhere. Remember, consistent patterns over time are more telling than isolated incidents, so look for ongoing changes in the way he interacts with you.
He Accuses YOU of Cheating
If he was never the jealous type before, but suddenly starts treating you with suspicion or jealousy, he might be transferring his own guilty feeling to you. This is a typical sign of guilt, and you should definitely be on the alert!
He Kisses Differently
If his kissing style changes suddenly, he might be trying something new, or he might have learned something new from someone else.
A sudden shift in the way your partner kisses you could be a sign of infidelity. Physical intimacy is often influenced by personal experiences, and if his lips are telling a different story, it might be because they have been whispering secrets elsewhere. Alterations in tenderness, technique, or even the frequency of kissing can be subtle indicators that he is expressing affections that have been practiced or perfected with someone else. Pay attention to these changes, especially if they are accompanied by other worrying signs in your relationship.
His Friends and Family Start Avoiding You
If his sister used to be your BFF but now she’s not taking your calls or meeting you for coffee or shopping anymore, she might know something you don’t know. His friends and family won’t rat him out, but sometimes their behavior can signal a change, too.
He Blocks You from MySpace or Facebook
If all of the sudden you can’t see his Facebook wall or MySpace page, he may be hiding messages from another girl. Why else would he block you, unless he’s hiding something?
The best way to find out if your man is cheating is to ask him, of course. And if he has been unfaithful, you might be tempted to blame the other girl, but it’s not her fault. It’s his. So dump that loser and find someone who really appreciates you!
Want to know more about how to find out if he's cheating, check out these 10 Obvious Signs of Cheating … Is He a Cheater?
Do you have any tips on how to tell if your guy is cheating? Please share them! We need to know!
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