You’ve found the perfect man, flirted to perfection and now you have a date. Sounds perfect, so what’s the problem? He’s shy! Shy guys might be cute and endearing, but on a date, it can lead to awkward silences and tension. There are ways to cope with this shyness, though! Here are my top ten tips for dating a shy guy.
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1. Spend Time as Friends
Shy men are often loud and confident with their friends, but find girlfriends intimidating and can’t help getting shy! Spend time together doing friend things, and not only will you get to know him but he’ll learn to drop his guard, too.
2. Talk to Him
Ask him questions. Tell him about your day. Talk about your pets, your family, your favourite place. Talking to him will encourage him to open up, without feeling like he is being interrogated. Do most of the talking, but let him talk, and ask questions.
3. Read His Body Language
If he isn’t saying how he feels, look for it. Does he look like he wants to speak; is he making continuous eye contact, does he look bored? What he is doing will usually portray what he is thinking, so read it carefully. It’s your secret weapon!
4. Remember Things
Commit important details to memory. The name of his mum, his favourite colour, the name of his dog... it’ll make you feel more involved in the conversation if you know exactly who he is referring too, and he’ll feel like he’s known you forever.
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Remembering little facts about him not only shows that you care, but also helps in creating a deeper connection. When you recall specifics that he's shared during previous conversations, it sends a signal that he has your full attention. It's things like asking how his mother's new gardening project is going or mentioning his favorite sports team's latest game that can brightly light up his day. These small acts of remembrance can go a long way in nurturing a relationship, especially with someone who tends to be reserved or shy.
5. Tell Him about You
Talk about yourself. Show him you can be trusted by telling him your secrets, and all the little details about you. He’ll feel more comfortable when he knows who you are, and you’ll soon be rid of a shy guy and have your own confident hero!
6. Be Careful with What He Tells You
If he confides in you, however small, keep it to yourself. While it might feel good telling a few close friends, and you’ll be thrilled at getting him to open up, if you violate his trust he’ll never trust you again.
7. Arrange Dates
Arrange dates with him, so you won’t be waiting for him to get the confidence to call and arrange a second. Try going to the cinema, so he doesn’t have to talk so much, and save picnics and that sort of thing for when he’s opened up a little more.
8. Be Encouraging
Look at him while he is talking, and pay full attention to what he has to say. Shy guys find it hard to talk already, so if you make him feel like what he is saying is worthless, he’ll get even quieter. Make eye contact, and avoid distractions like your cell phone.
9. Introduce Him to Family and Friends Carefully
Take your time with this, and think about it. Keep loud people to last, and anyone who is likely to make jokes. Warn the people beforehand that he is shy, and ask them to be nice. Most people have felt shy, and will immediately understand!
10. Flirt
Just because he is shy, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t look good. Be confident, happy and flirty, and show him exactly why you are worth the effort. You won’t regret it! There’s nothing that brings a shy guy out of his shell more than a flirty girl.
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Flirting with a shy guy calls for a mix of subtlety and boldness. Lean in when you talk to him, touch his arm gently to emphasize a point, and don’t forget to flash those dazzling smiles his way. However, always be mindful of his comfort zone. While some teasing can be fun, pushing him too hard might backfire. A light-hearted and playful approach can spark his interest and encourage him to open up, proving that behind that shy exterior lies someone who is just as interested in the thrill of a flirtatious exchange.
11. Understand His Nervousness
Of course, dating a shy guy can get really frustrating sometimes, but you’ve got to make sure that you understand his nervousness and some of the behavioral acts that he has. If he doesn’t immediately make plans with you, don’t take it personal, it’s because he’s nervous!
12. Don’t Pressure Him
Pressure is just going to put your shy guy right back into his shell, so make sure that you don’t pressure him to be someone he isn’t. If you are dating him, you are most likely dating him for him, not because of how confident he is. Remember that!
13. Figure out His Comfort Zone
Just like he has to figure out your comfort zone, you’ve got to figure out his comfort zone too! That means that you’ve got to work at finding out what makes your shy man tick and where he is most comfortable. Give it a try and see how easy it is to date a shy guy!
14. Make Him Feel as Comfortable as Possible
Making him comfortable should be something that should be a high priority, after all, he is the shy one and you are the outgoing one. Make sure that the things you do aren’t outside of his comfort zone and are things that you both like to do.
15. It’s Worth the Investment, Remember That
Finally, while it might be harder to date someone that is a little shier than you, it is worth the investment! Shy guys are beautiful people and they are oh-so-sweet, so remember, when you are dating a shy guy, it’s worth the extra time it takes to coax him out of his shell!
Once he’s out of his shell, he’ll be more confident than shy, and you’ll have a dream relationship! Just remember that shyness is a natural defense, and be nice. He is trying! Have you got a tip on dating a shy guy? Please share it with me!
Comments
Michele: Wow..Ashley's comments are right on target. I feel special too and always let him know that I am lucky to have him in my life. It's a challenge but if you can get him to open up to you, it's a huge accomplishment and so worth the challenge especially when he is so freakin' HOT!I'm happy with my shy guy, patience is the key.
Mayaboo: I like a guy and we aren't really talking to each other what should I do??????????
Greg: I am one these shy guys you talk about. I am not a shy as I once was but the key for me anyway is I am shy at first because I like to feel someone out. See what is ok and how far I can go. It is important I feel comfortable before I let someone in. As mentioned trust is key.
Johanna: If a guy is really shy, I prepare a list of questions ahead of time to ask, if the conversation goes dead. (But I of course don't pull the list out of my purse and read ofof of it, I just memorize the questions.)
xana: hey guys, need ur opinio on this story! I work in a shop an i have a crush on this costumer that comes everyday and he s that type of guy who's really handsome and smart bla bla bla and he acts all shy around me and nervous when im tryin to make a conversation with him. so literaly i broke the ice, like 5 months ago, and since then we have spoken few words and stuff.. now he comes everyday twice a day just to get a coffee so we can switch some words, and yes i let him know that i like him by tellin him that he needs to get me his souvenir from his hometown when he was n holidays, like compliment his hair, tld him that i preferred his old hairstyle... he knows that i like him because everyone in the shop calls me when he comes and he sees that. and actually yesterday when he came at lunch time one of my team workers told me that he was looking for me with his eyes and when he found me he smile and then asked for a coffee so i could make him... ANY OPINION? I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO! gettin frustating, because its always me asking him stuff and im the one who has the balls, and like this i dont think he will never asks me out... since its a employer vs costumer fckd situation... help me............
Piyanuch: my date was a shy guy, but now he a is a non-stop talking with (only) me.
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