You have the biggest crush on this guy but you don't have the faintest idea about any flirting rules that would actually enable you to flirt with him. You can't stop thinking about his adorable dimples and those deep blue magical eyes. You want him and you're willing to take that first step but you're afraid of making a fool of yourself. Well maybe what you need are a few flirting rules. Armed with these flirting tips, I promise you will get your boy to melt like silly putty.
1. Get Caught Looking
This one is a personal favorite. If I see someone I like, I always make it a point to look his way a couple of times, hoping he catches me in the act. And when he does, I give him an ever-so-sly smile, look at him for a couple of more seconds and look away. This lets him know that you're interested and it's just so much fun to make eye contact in a room full of people. Just don't get caught looking at him too often no matter how pretty he is. That's plain creepy, and one of the most important flirting rules is to avoid being creepy at all costs.
2. Keep It Playful
If you have worked up the guts to go talk to him, just remember to keep it playful. Flirting has to be fun! Smile, and by that I don't mean the flight attendant kind of fake smile. I mean a genuine, warm smile that makes you seem approachable and friendly. Teasing him playfully is also a good way to get him comfortable. But there's only so many times a guy wants to hear about his "rosy red lips." If it's not the first time you're talking to him, try inventing a nickname for him; try something cute yet masculine that will stay only between the two of you. And no, Princess Jasmine is not a good nickname for a guy. I learnt that the hard way when I was 14.
3. Compliment Him
Flattery really will get you everywhere. We ladies love our compliments and believe it or not, men do too! So if you think his smile is cute, let him know! If you love the tee he's wearing, let him know! But as with every tip, be frugal with the compliments too. It's sweet to hear "Awww I love your dimples" once, maybe twice. Any more and you're probably going to creep him out. Besides, too many compliments may make you seem a wee bit fake. And we don't want that, do we?
4. Physical Contact
I know you just want to jump at him and devour him, but resist the urge. The first few times you talk to him, make sure you stand close enough to create a sense of intimacy, yet not so close that he can smell your breath. Think about how close you'd want a stranger to stand if it was the first time he was speaking to you. That should give you a clearer image in your head. After you start to get comfortable with each other, subtle physical contact is good. An 'accidental' brush of the shoulder or fingers, a hug hello or a hug goodbye and my favorite, briefly touching his arm or shoulder when he says something that makes me laugh. Just remember, he may be shy or worse still, not interested, so know when to stop.
5. Eye Contact
There's so much you can say with your eyes! I guess they're not called the windows to the soul for nothing. I know this one is hard, especially if you are shy, but it's oh-so-worth it. So the next time you are engrossed in conversation, look into his eyes like he means the world to you and as Tyra would say, "Smile with your eyes." It'll make him feel that much more connected to you. And I know his eyes are mesmerizing but try not to stare. Believe it or not, 'zombie stares' make people feel uncomfortable. Remember to pair it up with a smile and occasionally let your eyes drift down to his lips. Remember, I said OCCASIONALLY. Do it too often and you'll come across as a pervert!
Here are a few conversation tips that a wise woman (read: my best friend) once passed on to me. Firstly, use his name every now and then while talking to him. It will add that personal touch to the conversation and make him feel more comfortable. Secondly, remember that people love to talk about themselves, so ask him questions and please let them be interesting questions. There's nothing fun or remotely flirty about "So what answer did you get for that problem?" When he's talking, listen to him (and I mean really listen!) and respond. Even if you don't know much about the topic at hand, try to say something to keep the conversation flowing. For example, if he's talking about pool and you don't have the slightest clue about the game, let him talk about it and then say something like "Wow! All that makes me wish I knew how to play pool. Maybe you could teach me sometime," and give him your best smile. If he smiles back...Ka-ching!
7. Body Language
What you're doing with your body is as important as what you're saying. Agreed that most often these are subconscious moves but you need to pay more attention to them so that you don't send across the wrong signals through your body language. For starters, don't cross your arms. It makes you seem unapproachable and not too open. If you don't know what to do with your hands, play with your hair or jewelry flirtatiously. Again, moderation is key or you're just going to seem fidgety. Then there's the legendary hair flip, a flirting tip that's as old as time itself. Also, I recently read that guys find the neck of a woman extremely attractive. So bend your head sideways as if listening intently and expose your neck or move your hair to one side of the neck. And another personal favorite, lean into him ever-so-slightly and speak softly to make sure he's forced to do the same.
8. Stop While It's Still Fun
Always remember to leave at a high point. If you feel like you're running out of things to say or that the conversation is slacking just a little bit, it's time to say goodbye. I know it's the last thing you want to do, but trust me; this way he'll look forward to your next meeting. Let the goodbye be confident, flirty and short yet not hasty. Leave him wanting more of you!
9. Don't Go Psycho
Psycho is not attractive. Don't magically appear before him every time he's alone. You'll seem like a stalker and no one likes a stalker. If he seems like he's in a hurry and says he has to go, don't linger and be clingy. Also, if you manage to exchange numbers, don't text or call him as soon as you're out of sight. Give him time to miss you. If he's interested, trust me, he will call! And if you make the first move and he doesn't text or answer his phone, don't keep trying incessantly. 15 missed calls don't exactly scream sane!
10. Be Yourself
Most importantly, remember to be yourself! Don't pretend to be someone you're not just because you think that's who he wants you to be. Let him get to know and like you for you. We all have quirks that make us unique, so be proud of them and use them as your strengths. Be confident without being over the top and have fun with it! Remember, not every guy you like has to like you back. So if he doesn't respond the way you want him to, consider it practice and move on!
11. Take an Interest in Things He Likes
If he is someone you've know for sometime and you know a few things about him, then take an interest in something he's into. Does he always carry around a Spider-Man or Batman comic book? Does he talk a lot about country music and artists like Darius Rucker or Jason Aldean? Next time you see him, play a country song on your iPod loud enough for him to hear it or wear a Batman shirt that will really get his attention. But, before you do so, be sure to do some research on these interests of his if you don't know much about them!
12. Test out a Command
Men love women who take command and are in control when they flirt, so test out a command with him once things start getting hot. Say something like, "I've been dying to see that new play that's in town, you should take me." Make sure it comes off as a command and not a question, you don't want to give him too much time to think about it. If he sees that you really like him and want this to happen then he will go for it.
13. Ask about His Tattoos
If he has crazy, unique tattoos all down his arms, jump right in the water and ask him about them. Touch his arm, look into his eyes, and say, "Did this tattoo hurt?" then add in, "What's the meaning behind it?" Guys with tattoos love girls who are into them because that means you're into him too!
14. Challenge Him
Are you flirting with a guy at the gym who is running next to you on the treadmill or playing basketball on the court? Challenge him to a friendly competition and he will love you when you let him win! Don't be too obvious about the win, let the score get neck and neck and just see what happens!
15. Dance with Him
Whether you're at a night club, friend's party, or a wedding, go over to him and pull him out on the dance floor! If you really want to get to know him before the night is over, dancing is a great way to see what he's really made of. Just make sure not to get too crazy or too wild on the dance floor!
Stick to these flirting rules and you’ll be an expert flirt in no time! Have you got a killer flirting trick? Feel free to share! In fact, please do share.