So you’ve been together forever, he has a toothbrush at your place, and you are always washing his pants. So why isn’t he moving in? Men sometimes need a gentle push in the right direction, but it can be so hard working out what to say. Here’s a list of my top ways to get him to move in...
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1. Home Test!
Invite him over for a few nights, and check that you are compatible. He’ll start to see how much easier living with you is, and you can see any habits that might drive you mad.
2. Have a Talk!
Find a magazine article or programme about couples, and broach the subject with him. Talking about other people makes it easier to judge how he feels, and saves you frustration and heartache if he says he isn’t ready.
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In addition to discussing other couples, it can also be helpful to have a conversation about your own relationship and your future plans together. This can give your boyfriend a better understanding of where you see the relationship going and if moving in together is a part of that vision. It's also important to listen to his concerns and address any fears or reservations he may have about taking this step. Being open and honest with each other can help create a stronger foundation for a successful move-in. Additionally, it may be helpful to have this conversation in a neutral and comfortable setting, such as over a meal or during a walk, to avoid any potential tension or pressure.
Frequently asked questions
It's all about making him feel super comfy and happy when he's with you. If he feels at home at your place, he'll naturally want to stay. Show him the benefits like spending more time together and saving on rent.
Start by talking openly and honestly about your feelings and why you think it's a great idea. Maybe mention the fun stuff you could do together, like cooking meals or watching movies every night. Don't push it, just make it sound appealing.
Let him see the perks of living together without directly bringing it up. Invites him over often, makes sure he feels relaxed and enjoys his time there. Little by little, he'll start seeing your place as his second home.
Be upfront but not forceful. Share your thoughts and feelings on why living together could be awesome. Also, listen to his concerns or hesitations. Maybe offer compromises that can make the transition easier for him.
It really depends on your relationship! If things are stable and you both feel ready, it can be a wonderful step forward. Just make sure it's something you both genuinely want and that you've talked about all the important stuff like finances and personal space.
3. Give Him a Key!
Pick your time carefully, but get a key copied and give it to him. Put it on his keys, and text him to drop by after work and let himself in for a surprise... make it seem exciting and convenient, rather than scary.
4. Show off Your Skills!
Cook for him, run him a bath, do his washing, keep him organized. Show him how living with you will make his life better. And remember that you often walk around in your underwear, if you think he needs more persuasion...
5. Discuss Practicalities!
If he eats with you, he should contribute to the food bill. Always watching your TV? Share the electric bill. Discussing practicalities like finance might make him realize that its much cheaper to pay one bill rather than two...
6. Enjoy Time Staying in!
Show him things you can do together. This will get him imagining spending every night with you. If he’s instantly crawling the walls and trying to escape, he isn’t ready yet.
7. Let His Friends round!
Invite his friends round for a PS3 night, and order pizza. Get beers, and leave them to it. Show him he can still be one of the lads even if he lives with you.
8. Don’t Nag Him!
Let him make the decision himself. If you nag him into it, he might end up hating you, which is obviously not what you are going for...
9. Let Him Think about It!
Don’t decide he should move in and expect him at the door with his things the next day. He needs to think it over, to sort out his own place and prepare for a move. Don’t impose unnecessary time limits!
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Moving in with your significant other is a big step in a relationship. It requires careful consideration and preparation from both parties. It's important to give your boyfriend the space and time he needs to think about the decision and make necessary arrangements. Rushing him or imposing time limits can create unnecessary pressure and tension. It's also important to have open and honest communication about expectations and concerns before making the move. This will help ensure a smooth transition and a strong foundation for your future together. Remember, patience and understanding are key in this process.
10. Refer to It as ‘home’!
“Honey, you ready to go home?”, “Have we got enough beer at home?” He’ll start subconsciously associating your house with home, and he’ll start referring to it as that too.
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This tip encourages women to refer to their shared living space as "home" in order to make their boyfriend feel more comfortable and connected to the space. This can also help to create a sense of stability and permanence in the relationship. Additionally, using the term "home" can help to establish a sense of partnership and ownership in the living space, rather than it feeling like one person's place that the other is simply staying in. This small change in language can have a big impact on the overall dynamic of the relationship and can make the idea of moving in together more appealing to both parties.
11. Give Him a Role
Whether it’s taking out the bin, watering the plants, DIY or putting up the Christmas tree, giving him a job will make him feel more at home. Equally, let him have some say on where things go. Telling him off for putting things away wrong will just make him feel out of place.
12. Remember Why You Are Together
Don’t get so obsessed with moving in that you forget why you are together. Enjoy your own passions, have a joke together, and go out. Remember that you’re still a couple whether you live together or not.
Living together is amazing, and can make life so much easier. Remember why you are together, though, and that it doesn’t really matter if he leaves towels on the floor. Is it worth the argument? I think not. Enjoy living with him! Have you got a tip on how to make him move in, or a story on how it went for you? Please share it with me!
Photo Credit: flickr.com
Comments
Rose: These are great tips!! I never really thought about how i would get my boyfriend to move in. These are very clever!! (:
zennmaster: I love the title of this post. "12 ways to get your boyfriend to move in with you." The only glitch is, the moment women stop following these 12 ways (about a week's time) the man (the rare kind with little iota of brains) knows he has been played and is walking out of the door. True Story. Fact. ps: Would love to see a post on x # of ways to keep a boyfriend/girlfriend. :P
Chrissy: Great article!! :)
Isabella: why would anyone want their girlfriend/boyfriend to permanently move in? that just equals complete boredom after marriage and divorce. and to zennmaster- if you can't even keep a girlfriend/boyfriend, that's just sad and depressing!
suburbangrandma: I thought I would never approve of that for my kids, but I was wrong. I gave in....... but I told them, you better be pretty sure about this person, because I do not want to see this "convenience" become a habit....Also, I advised them that they should have a certain time frame in mind, and within that time frame the relationship should get stronger or out they go. Friend of mine lived with her boyfriend for two years, and he was not ready for a more serious relationship,so her grandmother told her this: "why buy a cow when you already have the milk"....good advise, eh? This story does have a happy ending....in the third year they did get married, and I was invited to a very nice Greek wedding.
Xannyyy: I wish I had a place of my own so I can have my boyfriend all to my self all day and night :) But I guess we still have to wait some more years as we're in processs of our home!
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