12 Tips on How to Get along with His Mother ...


12 Tips on How to Get along with His Mother ...
12 Tips on How to Get along with His Mother ...

How to get along with his mother is something that many girls try to figure out. Obviously to most of us meeting his mother means this is a serious relationship and if you end up marrying him, she is going to be your monster… I mean, mother in-law. Which is why it becomes that much more important to get along with her. When it comes to developing and maintaining a good relationship, it is going to take effort on both sides. Below, I am going to give you some ideas. They do not have to go in this particular order. The main ideas would be to show respect and have a positive attitude...

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Be Sensitive to His Mother’s Feelings

Be Sensitive to His Mother’s Feelings Remember, she is his mother, she is the one that spent eighteen plus years raising him, so you should be sensitive to this other woman in his life. Many mothers do not think of the daughter-in-law as competition. However, if the mother’s life revolved around her son or if he was the only child, then the competition element might kick in. Make it easier for yourself by following some simple tips. When I have to meet the boyfriend's parents, I make sure to dress a little conservatively. The way you dress to meet his folks, can make or break your impression.

Photo Credit: claudiaveja


Have That Positive Attitude

Have That Positive Attitude As I stated earlier, it is important that you get a positive attitude and keep it. She may just be trying to do her best and is new at playing this role. You should give her some credit. Being a mother-in-law (even a potential one) is not exactly easy. So cut her some slack and give her a chance. She may nag you for your habit every once a while but stay confident through it and smile. That's your best weapon afterall :)

Photo Credit: NorwayNatasha


The Expectations

The Expectations You should not expect to be immediately welcomed into her arms. If you're lucky enough to get a welcome with arms open wide, yaaay! For the rest of us, it may take some time to be accepted. You should get to know his family. And let them get to know you. This is going to take some patience and time. Can you blame her for wanting the best for her son? I think not.

Photo Credit: Łukasz Strachanowski


Communicate Your Feelings

Communicate Your Feelings You need to be able to communicate your feelings. You should not let those hurt feelings build up inside of you. If there are any snubs coming from your his mother, always discuss them. Feel free to tell him how they make you feel. It is his duty to give a supporting hand as long as you are justified.

Photo Credit: DigiDi


Take Advice from His Mother

Take Advice from His Mother Does his mother try to give you some advice? She has years of experience under her belt. You should not take those suggestions with a rude "Yeah right". Instead, welcome them. Have an open mind and open heart and try to understand what she is telling you. Remember, she is only trying to help you. Noones saying you need to follow them but there's no harm in listening to what she has to say. And you never know, maybe following her advice will actually bring more happiness into your life.

Photo Credit: margaridaperola

Famous Quotes

Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

George Santayana

When She is in Your Home…

When She is in Your Home… When she visits your home, you need to treat her as a guest. Find amazing recipes and cook for her. Sit down and chat. Show her around town. If she would like to help prepare meals for dinner, then allow her to do so. The two of you really can bond this way. If she would like to just sit there and be waited on hand and foot, then ask your husband/boyfriend to help you clean up and prepare meals.

Photo Credit: On Bradstreet {Amy}


What about Raising Children?

What about Raising Children? If you have children and his mom would like to help you, let her help. If she wants, then allow her to spoil them, just a little. Let her shop for them. Read them bedtime stories. Whatever she wants! That is what grandmothers are for! When it comes to raising your children, you may want to welcome any advice that she may have. Again, no harm in listening to her opinion and if you disagree, let her know politely.

Photo Credit: -julianol-


Include Her during the Holidays

Include Her during the Holidays Yes, the holidays of 2009 just passed, but during the next holidays of 2010 and beyond, you should allow her to be a part of them. Maybe you could help her with her holiday shoppping. If you invite your folks over for Thanksgiving and Christmas, then invite her over as well. This way, all of you can celebrate the holidays stressfreeand together as a big, happy family or to be family anyway.

Photo Credit: azli jamil - back in Nepal again :-)


Treat Her Equally

Treat Her Equally Do you know how you treat your own mother? Treat his mother equally. Obviously, the feelings you have for your own mom are far different but try to imagine her in the same way. If you give your mom a gift for her birthday, then give his mom a gift for her birthday. If you have children, then visit both your mother and his mother with the same frequency.

Photo Credit: harold.lloyd (won't somebody think of the bokeh?)


Keep Her Informed

Keep Her Informed This is more a suggestion for married women. If you have important events coming up like perhaps a party, keep her informed. Call and tell her about those events. You know, keep her in the loop and make her feel involved. If you have children, send pictures of the new baby to the mother-in-law. Grandmothers enjoy getting pictures of their grandchildren.

Photo Credit: HappilyKnit


Send Thank-you Notes

Send Thank-you Notes When you or your children receive special gifts from her, be sure to send thank you notes. She may be the traditional type that expects to receive a thank you note, not just a verbal thank you. Sure, you could send you a thank you note in e-mail, but meaningful thank-you cards work the best.

Photo Credit: woolloomooloo


Respect Her

Respect Her Respect is the key in any relationship. If you respect her, she will learn to respect you back. You should think of her as being older and wiser. You always respect your elders, correct? She has been through a lot in her life. And believe it or not, respect starts from the first visit itself right from the way you dress to the way you interact with her. Over time, speak with her about when she was a child, learn what it was like to raise children. You know, ask her to tell you about those life experiences. Nothing like some nostalgia to bond with his mother!

Photo Credit: Diana Sr.

Those are 12 tips on how to get along with his mother. I know, there are some mothers-in-law out there that are truly monsters-in-law! They are extremely hard to get along with. However, don’t be the bad one, you should still show respect. The least you can do is maintain your dignity. If things get too bad, just tell your husband/boyfriend about it. What are your experiences? Was it ever hard for you to get to know his mother?

Top Photo Credit: Sherri DuPree Bemis

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

good tips! overly sucking up is never a good thing because many mothers have had a wild day or two in their pasts! :) I have never reached this point aside from meeting guy friends' moms but if I am ever at that point hopefully his madre and I will get along or at least respect each other! No one wants to lose their little boy to another lady is what I've gathered from tales my friends tell me :)

My native language is Romanian and his was Russian. We both speak in English...and his mother knows only Russian and German so... in the end I started to understand her....but I preferred to let her know I underst only the things I've liked :)

I have to thank god that his mother is the best person I know alive. I consider her one of my best friends as we always plan outings together like two children. And she invites me everyweekend for sleepovers at her ouse. I guess I'm really lucky!

It all revolves around respect- that's the ultimately and most important aspect in your relationship with a mother-in-law. Talk to her, let her know your are trustworthy and a good catch for her son. Also, always greet her with a proper 'hello' and 'goodbye', which will be very much appreciated- I know I learned from a mother-in-law who did. Good luck with yours :)

Let me tell you how I was getting along with the mother of my last bf :)))) I think was the best relation I've ever had with any mother (I'm joking). We were living in the same house with her, but we've talked different languages :)). She didn't know english or my native language but I knew just a few words from her language.So she can never ask me smth (she learnt to ask me if I wanted food, and I figure it out myself )or fight with me (not that she had any reasons) but I'm just saying, when u don't speak the same language there are no problems :D

I like mothers. Except for my own mother I get along with everyone's mom just fine. I couldn't be comfortable with my ex's mother though. Language was definitely a barrier.

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