Now that your engaged to the love of your life, how do you** **deal with his or her mother? From the moment you met her there was some tension in the air. She didn't like the way you dressed, she didn't like your hair, or she just didn't think you were good enough for her son or daughter. So how do you fix these issues before you settle in with your soon-to-be spouse? Not to worry here are 5 tips that may help you have a relationship with her before you call off the wedding.
5 Don't Put Your Fiance in the Middle...
Your fiance loves his mom and that love isn't going any where. If you want to marry him and have a** happy marriage**, don't put him in the middle of the battle you have with his mother. Or vice versa, men don't put her in the middle of the battle you have with her mother. It's between the two of you, not the three of you**.** Putting down their mother isn't going to make anyone happy. No one likes to hear that their mother is annoying or a control freak.** **Learn how to deal with the future mother-in-law without making your fiance upset. However, you can ask your fiance for advice because they know their mother better than you do. Your fiance wants you two to get along, so do your best to put on a happy face.
Invite her out to lunch or a girl's day out on the town shopping to have a nice day with just the two of you. Tell her that you love her son and that he means the world to you, complement her on raising such a wonderful person. Then clear the air with her, find out what the problem is. Maybe she is afraid of losing her son so reassure her that she is gaining a daughter. Does she have another daughter-in-law that doesn't like her or that she has problems with? Tell her that you want her in your life and that she will be included in many aspects of you and your fiance's life together. Finally ask her if she would like to help out with the wedding, sometimes mother-in-laws don't play a big part and this may make them feel left out so don't forget to include her on your special day and during the planning process. The same goes for men, take your future mother-in-law out to lunch and tell her that her little girl will be taken care of.
If you both are truly, madly in love with each other and make each other happy then show your mother-in-law the evidence. Take her out on a day trip where the three of you go some place you enjoy or better yet some place your fiance really enjoys. If she sees that you enjoy the hobbies their son or daughter enjoy then this gives her evidence that you will make them a happy person and will have a happy marriage. Whatever you do don't pretend to enjoy yourself because she will see right through you. If you don't like the outdoors then go to your fiance's favorite restaurant or see a broadway play if this is what you both enjoy doing together. At the end of the day she will truly see the love you share and will be thankful that her child has found such a wonderful person.
Forming a relationship and a bond with anyone takes time, your relationship with your future mother-in-law isn't going to happen over night. For some it may take a long time to eventually get her to open up, that doesn't mean that she doesn't like you or that you did something wrong. Keep trying but don't smother her.** One day out together isn't going to make you two best friends, she needs to see who you really are and get to know you. I was lucky enough that my future mother-in-law took to me right away and has continued to show love and kindness. **I could only hope that everyone has a mother-in-law that they can bond with. If anything try to show each other respect.
Celebrate the good times like holidays, birthdays, and Mother's Day with your new mother-in-law but also celebrate with her on any day. Call her** up, stop by her house and keep her in the loop. She is an important person to your spouse and now she is an important person in your life as well as you are an important person in her life. When the grandkids come let her know that she is a wonderful grandmother...this being that she acts **like a wonderful grandmother!
Hope for the best and try to keep a positive attitude towards her. If she nags you about your housecleaning or lack there of just keep smiling, you don't need to give her any excuses for being the busy mother or father, wife or husband, business woman or man that you are...not everyone can be perfect like her!