30 Ways to Get a Guy to Ask You out ...

By Sheila

30 Ways to Get a Guy to Ask You out ...

If you wonder whether there are ways to get a guy to ask you out, the answer is, yeah! In fact, there are quite a few effective ones! So if you like this guy, call it a crush, butterflies in your stomach or love at first sight, you can easily get HIM to like YOU enough to ask you out! Of course there is no unique surefire formula, as all guys are different and so are the circumstances, but do not despair! These are 30 different ways to get a guy to ask you out that will work. If you try any or all of these awesome ways to get a guy to ask you out, trusty Cupid will do the rest!


UPD: Given the sheer volume of comments here, we've carved out a space on Reddit for this topic. Join us there for a more organized and moderated discussion.

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1

Be You

No one likes deception. Think about it. If a guy was extremely gentlemanly on the first date (opened doors for you, pulled your chair out, etc...) and all of that magically disappeared when the two of you got a little more serious, you would feel cheated right? So don't do the same thing. Yes, we all tweak our normal selves to impress the other person, but there is a fine line between tweaking and being downright fake. So listen to him when he talks about his favorite sport but don't pretend to be a born fan just to get him to like you and ask you out. This is definitely one of the top ways to get a guy to ask you out!

2

Dress as You Normally Would

Don't dress a certain way because you think that's what he would like. That's a sure-shot sign that you are trying too hard, especially on a first date. When I was 15, I had the biggest crush on this guy and I knew for a fact that his ex always had her face plastered with makeup. If he liked her that way, surely he would like me with a little blue eye shadow? I never found out because the one and only time I experimented with it, my best friend (thankfully) caught me before anyone else could see me and made me swear I would NEVER do that to my face again. I can't imagine what would have happened otherwise. I probably should have read these makeup tips for a successful first date. Moral of the story: If you are uncomfortable with very short skirts, high heels and dramatic make-up, steer clear of them. Try and figure out what works best for you and rock that with confidence!

3

Accentuate Your Best Physical Features

There are some things you can wear and then some clothes that you should just not wear especially on a first date. Fashion trends are going to be the death of us one day! Don't follow them just to get a guy to ask you out because in the bargain, you might be highly uncomfortable and that's not the best thing for your confidence. Instead, figure out what suits your body and find ways to accentuate your best features. Draw attention to your killer legs, wear colors that bring out your gorgeous eyes, wear a belt to emphasize the curves of your waist, you get the point. Just remember that learning what looks good on you is a process. You may goof up every now and then but that's okay. Just be comfortable and enjoy the process!

4

Don't Be Fake

While cultivating the same interests as the boy you like is great, you can't fake it. As you've already read, one of the most important ways to get a guy to ask you out is to, above all, be yourself. So, faking an interest in football or pretending you're also wild about video games isn't the best idea. You can be interested in them – and interested in HIS interest – but don't fake it yourself. That could come back to bite you in the butt later.

5

Eye Contact

Eye contact really is a great thing. You can say so much with your eyes – like telling him you're interested. Whenever possible – again, without being too obvious – try to catch and hold his eyes. If you catch him staring at you, that's even better. Capture his eyes when you do, and smile at him. He'll definitely know you're interested too, and that may make it easier for him to approach you.

Famous Quotes

Men in general judge more from appearances than from reality. All men have eyes, but few have the gift of penetration.

Niccolò Machiavelli
6

Flash a Smile

One of the most powerful weapons we have to melt a guy like silly putty is a beautiful smile! So whenever you bump into him, use your pearlies and use them well! There's no easier way to show a guy that you are friendly, approachable and most importantly, interested in him! Also, when you catch that eye contact, don't just stare, flash him a smile.

7

Be Clear

It's hard trying to figure out what another person's thinking, so if you want a guy to ask you out, make sure you're sending out crystal clear signals. You don't have to publicly declare your love for him or anything but make him feel special by flirting with him and treating him differently than you do other guys. Sit near him, flirt with him, touch him a little and even play the game of favorites with him when he's around.

UPD:

In addition to being clear with your signals, it's important to also be confident and show your interest in the guy. This can be done through body language, such as maintaining eye contact and smiling, as well as through your words and actions. It's also important to make sure you're spending quality time with the guy and getting to know him on a deeper level. This will not only make him feel special, but also allow you to see if there is a genuine connection between the two of you. Remember to be yourself and let your personality shine, as this will make you more attractive and increase your chances of getting the guy to ask you out.

8

Scheduling

One of the most important ways to get a guy to ask you out is to find a way to show him subtly that you are available and very much single. Try and weave it into general banter. That's what I do. Also, this would be the perfect way to find out if he's single or no. If the coast is clear, yay you!

UPD:

The article provides 30 helpful tips on how to get a guy to ask you out. These tips range from scheduling regular interactions, to finding subtle ways to show that you are available, to finding out if the guy is single. The article also provides helpful links to other articles on the site, such as ways to show subtly that you are available and ways to find out if the guy is single. With these tips, you can increase your chances of getting a guy to ask you out.

9

Take the Initiative

Shrinking coy violets rarely get noticed. So if you like a guy and you want attention from him, stop waiting and praying and take that first step...no matter how scary! The next time you see him walk by, flash a lovely smile and say hi. You can't possibly go wrong with that! Here are some other ways to take initiative without scaring him off. Confidence is enamoring and sometimes, you might need to push yourself to take that first step but it's so worth it! These tips to show you are interested in him without being too clingy are sure to come handy.

10

Be Approachable

By that, I naturally don't mean you should be easy. You shouldn't throw yourself at him, either. What I mean is that you should make sure he's in the kind of position where he'll feel comfortable asking you for a day. The wrong way to get a guy to ask you out is to constantly be surrounded by a group of friends. That might make him feel really uncomfortable, so make sure you have private moments together without making it too obvious.

11

Common Ground

There are certain specific things most men love talking about: cars, sports, action movies to name a few. Find out what his likes and dislikes are and try to steer the conversation in that direction. And like I said earlier, don't pretend to be a fan of something just because you think it'll get him to ask you out. At the same time, don't shoot down his interests by saying something like "I HATE sports." Seem genuinely interested and listen to what he has to say. And if you really hate something he likes, try to playfully argue with him. That will bring you closer. Remember the keyword: playfully!

12

Seize Every Moment Together with Him

I know that sounds a little vague, but really, ladies, carpe diem. Don't let fear hold you back! Guys like outgoing girls. I don't mean be obnoxious and in everyone's face – I know we all hate THAT girl. I mean, don't let fear rule you. If you're at a karaoke bar, rock it out. Remember that life is a series of opportunities, so don't let a single one pass you by when you're trying to get the guy you like to ask you on a date.

13

Be Witty

You've heard it said that guys love a girl who can make them laugh, right? More often than not, that's entirely true and that's what makes this one of the ways to get a guy to ask you out. If you've got a sense of humor, don't be afraid to show it off! Better, be witty, because that takes both intelligence and humor, and there's nothing sexier than that!

14

Don't Get Friend-Zoned

A lot of girls try to be a guy's friend first, and that's a great idea – theoretically. The thing is, you have to be careful when you do this. Great relationships form when you're friends first, but you don't want to get trapped in the friend zone. He has to see you as a girl, too, not just one of the guys. Otherwise, it might never occur to him to go out with you, and that's definitely not what you want. You can find the balance by never letting him forget you have a feminine side while still coming off as the girl with all the cool points.

UPD:

Finding the sweet spot between being his buddy and potential partner can be a bit like walking a tightrope. Flirt just enough without overdoing it, and keep the vibe light and breezy. Show him you have a life outside your friendship; make yourself a little mysterious. Remember, subtle touches and laughter at his jokes can go a long way. But maintain your boundaries so that he recognizes there's a line only someone special to you can cross. Make it clear – you're fabulous friendship material, but with the right signals, he'll start to see the spark that's unique to you two.

15

Leave Your Friends out of It

Many so-called relationship experts will tell you to get your friends involved in letting him know you like him; they tout that as an excellent way to get a guy to ask you out. I patently disagree. This approach can be way too childish, and might turn him off. If your friends can be subtle and feel him out a little, to see where his thoughts lay, that's one thing. If they're going to be all, “Oh em gee, our friend totally likes you, do you like her??” then definitely don't let them take that approach.

16

Act on It

You took the initiative and used flirting tips to make him notice you and it worked! You and your crush are now talking to each other and now you want ways to increase sexual tension between you and your crush. Here's what you need to do. Glance at him often and if he catches you looking, smile. When the two of you are talking, look right into his eyes, listen to what he says and laugh at his jokes. Twirl your hair. And please make it look playful as opposed to forced. Brush your shoulder or arm against his every now and then. Actions do speak louder than words and you should take a moment to read about these body language signs of flirting. All this will make him realize that you are very interested in him.

17

Find Excuses to Hang out with Him

I have seen a lot of comments from readers who want a guy to ask them out when they've barely even interacted with him. That's not how it works girls! You need to get to know him and give him a chance to get to know you. Hang back after class, ask him to help you out with homework (even if you don't need it), ask him to teach you how to play a musical instrument (if he does play one), the excuses are endless and any will do!

18

Flirt

This is another one of those occasions where you have to be careful, but as long as you know how to find that fine balance, you're all good! Flirting with a guy – following other tips mentioned, like maintaining eye contact, finding subtle and innocent ways to touch him, and so on – is an excellent way to get a guy to ask you out. Just don't go overboard, because you can come off desperate, and that will turn off a guy very fast.

19

Listen

You love it when your friends and dates listen to you, right? Well, he does too! Listening does more than let him know you're interested, though. It will also allow you to pick up subtle clues and hints about what he's feeling, and that might clue you into a better approach to entice him.

20

Don't Talk about Yourself Too Much

I know a lot of girls who think the perfect way to get a guy to ask you out is to tell him every single thing about yourself. That is not a good idea. If he mentions liking a restaurant, you can say you like it too – but don't “regale” him with anecdotes and stories from every visit you've ever made to the place. That's not giving him a hint; that's hitting him over the head with a heavy brick of information. Keep some of the mystery – let him find out about you at his own pace!

21

Stay on Topic

You've done everything you've had to do. The flirting is on full swing. You've probably also used these tried and tested punch lines for getting asked out. Now all he has to do is actually ask you out to one of these best places for a successful first date. Some guys are smarter and will usually ask you out by this point. Others need a few more hints. So what I do is discuss stuff like upcoming concerts, new movies and restaurants that I can't wait to check out. Sound excited without sounding too desperate and you never know, an invitation may just be a breath away. When you do get to that first date, remember that certain topics are just off limits. Here are some things not to discuss on a first date. Also, read our post on little known conversational tips for a successful date.

22

Stop at a High Point

What I mean by this is when you are having a conversation with him and you feel like it is dwindling or that you may be running out of things to say, find a believable excuse to say goodbye and cut it short. I know it's the last thing you want to do but trust me this way, he'll look forward to your next meeting. The idea is to leave him wanting more of you. This is one of the more cleverer ways to get a guy to ask you out.

23

Position Yourself Cleverly

If the two of you are about to spend a decent amount of time together, just remember to keep changing your position often enough without seeming too fidgety (These ways to calm the nerves before the first date will come in handy). Face to face interaction usually means maximum eye contact and that will help you connect better. But sticking to his side, especially in a crowded room would mean being able to be closer to him physically. Remember to lean into him and talk softly. It's all about clever and timely positioning. And like I said, don't do it too often or you might get asked "Do you wanna use the restroom?" like I did!

24

Have Fun

If you are with another group of 7 People You Need in Your Circle of Friends, concentrate on them instead of having one eye on him constantly. Don't spend your entire time watching his every move like a hawk or you're going to seriously spook him out. Instead, enjoy yourself with your own friends. Get them laughing or talking animatedly to you. This will make him wish he was with your crowd, especially with you. And if he happens to walk by, a warm smile and a hi would be perfect. And what if you are in a group with him? Well, read these ways to behave with your crush when you are in a group. I promise they'll help.

25

Make Him Feel Great

How you make a guy feel is probably the most important factor in getting him to fall for you and eventually ask you out. Remember, flattery will get you everywhere. Believe it or not, men love compliments as much as we do. So don't hesitate to tell him that he has an adorable smile or that you love his shoes or the cologne he's wearing. As always, remember not to go overboard with compliments or you will come across as fake. Also, be there for him and be nice to him. It will make him want to spend more time with you.

26

Be Confident

How can you expect a guy to fall for you if you don't love yourself? Confidence is one of the most attractive features about someone and when you are comfortable in your own skin, it shows! Just remember that you are wonderful and unique and that no one is perfect. Of course, be careful not to cross that thin line between confidence and cockiness.

27

Have a Sense of Humor

Nobody wants to date a grumpy grandma. Of course, you don't have to have a smile plastered on your face 24/7 but it's nice to be around someone who is cheerful and will laugh at your jokes (or tell him off playfully if you don't find them funny) and most importantly be able to see the funny side of difficult and embarrassing situations. Remember, "if you can't laugh at yourself, life's gonna seem a whole lot longer than you like."

28

Don't Be Obsessive

I know that you think you're in love with him and that he's the one but no matter how intense your feelings, don't give in to any stalker tendencies you might have. Don't text him constantly, don't call him all the time, don't "accidentally" land up where he hangs out or wait for him outside his class everyday. I assure you that there's no faster way to send a guy running in the opposite direction. All men need and appreciate a little space!

29

Be Patient

"My mama said 'you can't hurry love'" and it's so true! I know you can't wait to get into a relationship with him but nothing kills a budding love story like impatience. You've done your bit and put your heart out there and now you need to be patient. Give him his space and time to figure out how he feels about you. I'm not saying you have to wait a lifetime but let things progress naturally. The results are far sweeter that way too...

30

Don't Take Rejection Personally

I know this seems like a morbid tip in a post of ways to get a guy to ask you out but there is a little chance this might happen and I think it's very important to not take rejection to heart. If you've tried everything and he doesn't seem to respond or has turned you down, understand that at the end of the day you can't force feelings onto someone. He either does or doesn't feel the same way you do and the important thing is you tried. So move on and remember there are plenty of fish (some better) in the sea.

Follow these 30 ways to get a guy to ask you out and I'm certain he will ask you out in a flash! Personally I believe that if the two of you have a great time together but he won't make the first move, just ask him out yourself. When you have this list of places for a date he cannot say not to, you'll feel more confident. If you have more tips on how to get a boyfriend or how to get a guy to ask you out, please share! I can't wait to hear from you!

Heads up: If you've got more to say or are curious about what others think, this Reddit thread is the perfect spot. Let's keep this dialogue going!

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

Well i moved here last year towards the end of the year and i went out with guy#1 and i became friends with guy#2 during that time. Then i broke up with guy#1 and guy #2 and i became really good friends. So then on the last day of school he asked me out. And i really liked him and i didn't want to loose him so i called him alot cause i did't get 2 c him alot. Then like 2 weeks later he broke up with me. Then i started this school year and i went ou with guy #3 for 2 months. But guys #2 & 3 were kinda enemies. So i tried givin guy #3 a hug and guy#2 asked 4 a hug and i said no and the two gave eachother dirty looks. Now its two months later and i like guy #4 and guy#5. Guy #5 asked me out but i said no several times cause he has a repuation as a player. And guy #4 is my bff's x. Guy #2 heard i like guy #4 and got kinda protective. Now guy #4 is back with his girlfriend and its like guy #2 and i arent even friends anymore. I tried txtin him on class like we used 2 and later he said " god quit txting me women". And i kinda like this other guy guy #6 but he barely nos i exsist and he is extremly popular. So now im in the same math class as guy #3 & we flirt alot and me friend said we should go out again but he said it wouldnt happen. And i really really like i mean like love guy #2 but idk wat to do he is kinda a player so i nvr no if he is for real or not. Wat do i do?

i like a guy who lives near me we hang out alot i pretty sure he like me too. The only problem is he has a girl friend. She lives in west virginia though and we live in New Jersey. What do i do?????????????????????????????????????????????

Kay so I liked this guy and all of my friends k ew but one of them asked him out just before I was going to and she new so pleas someone tell me what to do!!!!!!!!!!! Ps my heart is broken<3

Hello, I'm in need of some major advice :( !! I am a Junior in high school. I have an ex boyfriend from Freshman year. We go to seperate schools now, and the reason we broke up after 5 months of dating was because I was moving, and he couldn't handle how much it hurt him. He is a really sweet guy, he never got into trouble then, and plays in a band for his Church. We've talked constantly over the past couple of years, because I wanted to at least be friends, even though he said that it was hard for him because he still had feelings for me. I did too, and part of me hated him for breaking up with me because I was moving, so I felt by keeping in touch with him, I could do a little harm to his feelings, which I know is cruel of me, but I was very hurt. The plan backfired though, because I never got over him. I never said anything to him, but he told me in the summer that he still had feelings for me. I didn't know what to say, so I told him that we would find people that are right for both of us. I was too nervous to tell him how I felt, because I didn't know what would happen after that. Well months went by, and he ended up getting another girlfriend. ( He probably had previous ones, after our break up, but I never cared to find out.) But of course, facebook let me know that he had another girlfriend. I told him I was happy for him, which I kind of was, because I thought that would help me truly get over him. Well a couple weeks went by and he said he broke up with her. I asked him why, and he said "Honestly, I just told her I just couldn't feel close to her. But the real reason is because I'm not over you. I still care about you alot." I didn't know what to say to that, because I didn't want to be the cause of his breakup, although it was touching. I told him I cared about him too, and I felt bad that it was so hard for him to get passed what we had. I don't remember if I told him I felt the same way though. Well that was around November. We hungout every couple of weeks, and then the time comes for this past Saturday. Everyday we texted before the weekend, about our plans and our day, just talking. He always joked that we were going to go to the movies and makeout, which I knew was a joke because when we dated he never tried kissing me except for once, and he missed. He was really shy about it then. Well Saturday, I hangout with him, and we planned on going to the movies with his guy friend, but his guy friend said he had to be somewhere. I knew it was planned. So the two of us went to the movies alone. Of course, he put his arm around me, very obviously, by joking around and pretending to stretch, which made me laugh. And then, while I was texting a friend about my situation, he leaned in and kissed me! he kissed me a few times in the movie, and in the car afterwards. We went to his friends house, and he introduced me as a "friend". I didn't think much of it though, because we didn't talk about our status and what the kissing meant. Well the next night, (Sunday night) I called him, because I was really worried about where we stood, and what we were. I said, "Were not friends with benefits, are we??" and he laughed and said, "No! Of course not, youre more than a friend to me, Were not just "makeout buddies".) so I said, "Then what are we?". He said, "I don't know, you tell me?" I said "I don't know.." He said, "What else is there besides friends and friends w/ benefits?" I said sarcastically, "Hmmm..I wonder?" And he said, "So is that what you wanted to call me and ask me about?" I said, "Yeah," He said, "do you want to ask me anything else?" I said "No..I dont think so..." He said "are you sure?" (I think he asked are you sure because it took me awhile getting around to the friends with benefits question because i was nervous) so I said, "yeah. is there anything you want to ask me?" he said, "No." so then we started talking about random other things, and then went to bed. I felt like I didn't get much out of that conversation, because I still have no clue where we stand. Hes always been kind of shy, and I'm just hoping that he doesnt want to ask about dating again because hes afraid of what I might say...But he had a chance on the phone...And I feel kind of hurt and mad, like maybe he doesnt want to date, because we live two hours away, so it would be "hard" but when we do get to hangout, he wants to be able to kiss me when he feels like it. I'm not that kind of girl, and it hurts to think that hes fine with this arrangement...whatever it is... ALSO! before I saw him Saturday, he texted me and said he was in love with me! i sort of freaked out but asked him "literally" and he said "literally" and i didnt know what to say, because i didnt know what would happen if i said i was too. and i was worried about if AM in love with him, or if i would just say that because hes saying that. he drives me crazy mostly, so i dont know if im in love with him, or if i just love him. its so complicated right now, and he cant talk to me for two days because hes grounded from his phone...so im hoping hes not lying and just trying to avoid talking to me for some reason...he tells me everyday though that he thinks im beautiful, cute, hot,etc, and he loves me, so im hoping hes genuine. i just cant tell.. like i said, he was a sweet boy he grew up though, he went to parties and admitted to me that he got drunk a few times and he was sorry, so i dont know if i can trust him, like do i really know him that well? i feel like i do, we were really close when we were dating, we were more like best friends if anything. im just so confused, and i need to know his intentions, if he wants a relationship or not... :( please help if you can.. sorry this was soooo long.

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