20 Funny Jokes about Men ...

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Feeling a bit anti-man today?

Here are twenty funny jokes that are bound to bring a smile to your face :)

#1

Never let your man's mind wonder – it’s too little to be out on its own.2

#2

If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

#3

Definition of a man with manners – he gets out of the bath to pee.

#4

What did God say after creating Adam?

I must be able to do better than that!

#5

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?2

A widow!

#6

Real Men...

claim to be feminist but still insist on opening doors, driving, and paying for dinner.

Most Men...

claim to be feminists because they let YOU open doors, drive, and pay for dinner.

#7

Men are like ... Placemats.

They only show up when there's food on the table.

#8

Men are like...

Government bonds.

They take so long to mature.

#9

Men are like...

Lava lamps.

Fun to look at it but not all that bright.

#10

Men are like...

Bank accounts.

Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.2

#11

Men are like...

Handguns.

Keep one around long enough and your gonna want to shoot it.

#12

Men are like...Parking spots.

The good ones are taken, and the rest are too small.2

#13

COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.:

Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.2

Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

#14

MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.:

Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.

Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.

20 Funny Jokes about Men ...
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