7 Ways to Leave a Bad Relationship ...

Break upsare hard work, but sometimes, it’s not the initial shock thats the worst part. It’s when you start to miss the way he did something, or how he turned up with roses, or when you realize no one else might want you. If the relationship was bad, you shouldn’t be in it, so here’s a list of 7 ways toleave a bad relationship alone.

1 Single Scares?

Single Scares? One of the most popular reasons for staying in a relationship you don’t want to be in anymore is due to the fear of being single. It’s hard to leave the safety net you’ve got, and see that you are better off on your own. Think about all the extra time you have with your friends and family now, who actually make you happy and don’t emotionally drain you. Then make the break!

2 Bad Advice

Bad Advice Photo Credit: frank-chimero

If you are feeling confused and upset, everyone will offer advice. Some of this won’t be right, though, and could lead you to stay in a damaging relationship. For example, your mum or gran might be thinking about grand children, or the risk of you finding someone they don’t like, or someone worse. They might even be thinking that it’s better the devil you know. They aren’t feeling what you are, though, so make sure you think through any advice and if you see enough signs to breakup, do it!

3 Good Advice?

Good Advice? Photo Credit: hellojenuine.

The opposite side of this can be true, too, though. One of mybest friends found herself unhappy in her relationship a year after it started, but she couldn’t understand why. She changed herself, being quiet and miserable, and when she finally told us how unhappy she was, we all told her to leave. She felt so vulnerable that she hated being told what to do, and decided to resist our advice and stay with him anyway. Looking back, we should have talked to her about what she wanted, and her options, rather than giving more advice to an already confused woman. If you are being given advice, think it through or share it with someone unconnected to the situation rather than just resisting it.

4 Old Memories

Old Memories Photo Credit: AlicePhotography

When you’re feeling unhappy, but are scared of change, it’s easy to remember all the good things about him. How sweetly he planned romantic dates, how he always bought things for you when he was away on a trip, how he never forgot your birthday or anniversary etc. But while the old him might have been amazing, the new him isn’t pulling his weight and that’s just not good enough. Put all the things that remind you of your good memories away somewhere, and focus on what your relationship is like now. Trying to convince yourself that it will get better will just make it harder to walk away.

5 Second Chance

I was really surprised to see how many women give ‘second chances’ in their heads. Remembering all of the things you used to do together can cause you to think that you’ve changed too, and make you blame yourself. While cooking him his favourite food and arranging fun days out may cause a very temporary change, you’ll be creating a fake relationship. You shouldn’t be putting all the effort in.

6 Charm Offensive

Charm Offensive So you managed to leave, but he wants you back. Chocolates, flowers, text messages, voicemails...it seems you can’t escape him, and it makes it hurt so much more. He’s probably promising to try harder, to make it work, and telling you that he loves you. Remember that this is a standard reaction to losing someone you have feelings for, and that if you get back with him, he won’t change. If he couldn’t recognize your unhappiness and make it better before you ended it, why would he try now? Block his number, and spend time with friends and family while you heal.

7 Missing Him

Missing Him Photo Credit: Matthieu Verhoeven ©

The bed suddenly seems big and cold, you don’t need Sky Sports anymore and his food is still in the fridge. Anything could make you miss him, from a joke you shared, to a programme you watched together, to things he did that annoyed you. Give your home a small revamp and remove all traces of him, so you aren’t constantly reminded of him. Then keep yourself busy, and remember that missing him is part of the healing process and that's how you willbounce back from a breakup.

Break ups can be cruel, but the best way to deal with them is to look at them as a new start. If you can, give yourself and your home an update, and make yourself feel good. Make time for the people and things that you neglected before, and discover who you are again. And make sure you keep smiling! Do you have a tip on leaving a bad relationship? Please share it with me!

Top Photo Credit: Carrie Taylor

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Comments

Natalie You mustn't be afraid to hurt someone and let them know what you think of them when you leave them. That gives a roper sense of closure and makes tem less likely to keep bothering you.
- Denise Hi Natalie. You're absolutely right. The truth hurts, but it has to be said. Thanks for stopping by AWS!
Anonymous Ok so I have a "bf" but we get to go out every other week or so and we are horrid texters. So I want to break up with him (lifestyle reasons) but how do I go about that if I rarely see him???? D:
- Denise Hello there. Welcome to All Women Stalk! Set up a date and tell him in person.
Anonymous So I'm dating this guy that I didn't get to know first. We normally would only see each other once a week and lately it hasn't even been that often. There has been the opportunities however he doesn't appear to want to make the effort to spend time with me. Also, we have very little interests in common. He doesn't talk about "deep" things, meaning I usually get an IDK or one-syllable words. I'm his first gf, and i feel like he's just inexperienced. He has been an ok boyfriend, but i don't feel like its working out. I want to dump him but I don't want to hurt his feelings, plus prom is just around the corner and hes already asked what color my dress is...I need some advice.
- Sheila Hi there, Welcome to AWS! I think it's best to be honest with him. The longer you drag it on, the harder it's going to be and really its unfair to both of you. Honestly, there is no easy way to do it. If you do it before prom, you'll be tagged "the girl who broke his heart right before prom" and if you do it after, you become the heartless girl who went to prom with him and then broke his heart. My advice would be to break up asap. Tell him that you want more from a relationship and that he's not the one for you. Good luck!
JB I was with a girl for 2 years and I supported her foolishness, partying, and inability to hold a job. I wanted to be with her, to work through the hard times and enjoy what we had. after she started getting herself into a state of mind where she could begin to be responsible, she cheated on me, and was for quite some time really, I tried walking away a hundred times, but the fact that she decided it was ok to cheat on me and step on everything I did for her just hurts and I don't want to love her anymore, but i don't know how to let go and move on.
- Sheila Hi JB, Welcome to AWS. So sorry to hear about your ex girlfriend. It's very natural for you to hurt especially considering all the things you've done for her and how much you wanted this to work. The bitter fact of the matter is that she just doesn't think this relationship is as important as it is to you. If you haven't yet broken up, tell her that you deserve better and get out of it. There's no greater satisfaction that dumping someone who hurt you. Of course you can go back home and bawl if needed but be strong in front of her and dump her and then ignore her completely. She may try sad faces and "I've changed" speeches but people like her don't change overnight. So cut contact completely, distract yourself and give yourself time to heal. Good luck!
Pranav It is better if you try to retain the relationship because it those rare gifts which are endowed to called lucky. If you are lucky one always be true to everybody you won't need to loose any relation. But never make it a habit just like chnaging clothes.Else you might loose everything.
- Sheila Hey Pranav, So basically you're saying one should stick to a bad relationship just because he/she is "lucky" to be in a relationship in the first place? Gotta disagree!
Mojo Amazing Tips...Need them So hard...But its really of no use to keep the guy who keeps hurting you.And really doesn't put any effort. Wish i could tell everyone how he left me.But npow i am happy..it wasn't worth all that effort coz it only hurt So ladies from d beginning of the relationship never change yourself for anyone...do stuff on your own..don't push it hard..don't do things you don't like..BE YOURSELF and give time to yourself.. n yeah shopping heals alotttt :)
- Sheila Hey Mojo, Thank God for the small joys in life huh? And yes, sometimes it can seem impossibly hard to leave someone but you've got to tell yourself over and over that it's for the best. I've done it in the past and boy does it hurt but sooner or later, the pain goes away and life gets better :) Thanks for reading.