Divorce is rarely a situation where both parties agree on everything. Most divorces aren’t happy events and dealing with an event such as this can be quite traumatizing for some. The following 7 ways to overcome a divorce are mainly geared towards an adult involved with a divorce. I didn’t mention kids, since that is a whole other entity in itself. If you or a loved one has recently gone through a divorce, I hope you can find these tips to be helpful.
7. Make Plans for the Future
Sitting around the house and moping about the past and what could have been changed isn’t helping your situation. Think about the future and how much you have to look forward to. You don’t have to know exactly where you want to be in 5 years or know what you hope to be doing, but at least think about something other than the pain you are feeling right now. Even if you only end up making plans to have dinner with a friend the following week, that’s a start. Write plans down and take a look at this list from time to time. It will give you a visual aid to spark new ideas and to keep you informed of what you want to do in the future.
6. Laugh Often and Try to Enjoy Yourself as Much as Possible
I find that laughter really is the best medicine. Watch a comedy, call a friend who always knows good jokes, or get a kitten. I’ve had been in stitches watching my cats when they were kittens, especially when there were multiple kittens in the house. They are possibly the most entertaining animals I have around here. Read humorous books and magazines. Do things that are fun and that make you smile. This works almost just as well as having a good laugh.
5. Surround Yourself with Comfort
When I say comfort, I don’t mean all your favorite snacks. I know sometimes happens and it can turn into a serious problem. Having foods around the house you enjoy and cooking your favorite meals will keep you moving, instead of sitting on the couch. Put on some music that you like, or wrap up in a cozy blanket to watch your favorite movie. Anything that makes you more comfortable will keep your spirits up and hopefully keep your mind occupied as well.
4. Maintain a Routine
Being able to have and keep a routine will help your day to go faster. Plus, before you know it you will be only thinking about the future and how excited you are about doing new things. If you already have a daily routine, then try to keep it up, no matter how hard it is. Having pets tends to make sticking to a routine a lot easier. My cats and dog are very good at reminding me when it’s time to feed them and when it’s time to get up in the morning.
3. Stay Busy
Staying busy will help keep your mind off the past divorce. Having things to do will also prevent you from dwelling on the past in general. Get friends to help you with ways to keep busy. Come up with something to do each day of the week so that you have something to look forward to. Maybe every other Friday could be movie night, Saturdays could be filled with cooking dinner with friends, or Sunday could be a relaxing day for walking in the park. Keeping yourself occupied will help immensely.
2. Keep in Touch with Friends and Family
Friends and family members can be a great source of support. Don’t close yourself off from them, just because you are feeling down in the dumps. These individuals are usually more than willing to boost your spirits when you need it most or simply lend an ear for you to vent in. Give them a call from time to time and try not to shut them out. This can be difficult when some of them aren’t supportive of your decision to go through with a divorce. In this case, you can focus on more contact with the supportive individuals. Try to avoid a lot of negativity when possible.
1. Talk to People Who Have Been through It Already
I find it much easier to understand what I’m dealing with when I can speak to someone who has already been through it. This tactic works will with many aspects in life, including a divorce. If you don’t know anyone who has been through a divorce, then you might try one of the many hotlines available. There are toll-free numbers with counselors waiting at the other end to help people deal with certain issues. Sometimes even having a complete stranger reassure you that your feelings are normal is a lot more helpful that trying to go through it alone.
Don’t give in to destructive activities, such as drugs or alcohol. Sometimes a divorce causes people to adopt self-destructive behaviors, instead of learning to deal with things. Try to focus on using these 7 ways to overcome a divorce and not on making yourself more miserable. Do you have any other tips for people who have gone through a divorce? What do you think is the hardest part about dealing with a divorce?