11 Secrets for a Successful Relationship ...

Everyone dreams of having a successful, happy relationship, correct? Where there is a happy relationship, there is a successful relationship. When I look at the statistics of divorces in the United States, I do get a bit depressed. People don’t seem to be taking marriage seriously anymore. Take California for an example, where the average marriage only lasts for five years. Nationwide, forty three percent of the marriages end within those first fifteen years. Second and third marriages end in divorce seventy percent of the time. It is clear that we are not handing our relationships the right way. Below, I am going to give you some of my tips to having a successful relationship and marriage.

1 Communication and Trust

No relationship can succeed without these two. You need to be able to talk to your partner about anything right from sex to your future plans to your fears. And trust is just as important. Not just to trust your partner but to be trustworthy. Remember once lost, trust is hard and I mean HARD to win back.

2 It Starts with You

Abraham Lincoln once stated that you are as happy as you make up your mind to be. Throughout times, research has proved that happiness is a state of being. Happiness is not of doing, achieving or having. I guess what I'm trying to say is that nothing you do, no amount of Manolo Blahniks or dresses, no amount of money can truly make you happy unless you choose to be happy.

3 There is You, There is Him/her and then There is We

You do not have to be known only as your spouse’s husband or wife. You have an identity of your own. And it's important to go out and do your own thing every once in a while. Spend time with the girls. Shop alone. Take up a new hobby. Alone time is important. At the same time, make it a point to do things together. You are in a marriage afterall. Find that balance between "I" and "

4 Leave the past behind

If you are not fully over the previous relationship, then how do you expect to move forward? It's important to begin each relationship with a clean slate. Because otherwise it's going to be impossible to give a 100 percent to your current partner. Also remember, each relationship is unique. So don't compare your present relationship to your previous ones. No boyfriend wants to constantly hear how great your ex was . That is definitely a relationship deal breaker.

5 Your Marriage Should Always Come First

Marriage is classified as being the strongest bond between two people. Children grow and leave, friends come and go and times change. The spouse is the only one that stays with you compared to anyone else on the planet. Women who state that their children come first generally cannot let their children grow up and be independent adults. Therefore, the children never emotionally leave home. Always put your marriage first.

6 Always Remember Why You Got Married in the First Place

Over time, work, bills and the monotony of life take over and you tend to forget why you got married in the first place. You did not get married just to work sixty hours a week, commute for two hours a day and pay that mortgage for thirty years. You did not get married to buy a new car, to get a better house, or any of that stuff. You got married to share life together and not your bills. You got married because you love one another.

7 Never Compare Yourself with Other Couples

There is always going to be another couple out there that seems happier, sexier, wealthier and more perfect than both of you. And trust me, there is no point in sitting there and comparing your life to theirs. No good can come out of it. More material stuff does not necessarily mean more happiness. So why not let them be and concentrate instead on your life and happiness together and making your marriage a good one.

8 Never Wonder “what if.”

You should never sit there and wonder what if. This is not going to get you anywhere in life. Wondering what it would be like to be with another person for one night or a lifetime is not fair to your partner. Besides you've seen your partner at his best and his worst. When it comes to other people, you're only going to see their good side. Who knows what monsters are hidden under that facade of handsomeness. My point? The grass is not necessarily greener on the other side. And if the temptation gets too strong think about how you'd feel if he cheated on you. That should keep you off it. And if it doesn't you need to seriously re-evaluate your relationship.

9 Know That Love Can Grow

You were truly in love when you first started going out, right? Did you know that through time, love can grow? Commitment and love to one another can grow throughout the years. If you are married, the longer you are married, the more history you are going to have together and if you do things right, your love WILL blossom. And always remember no love is perfect.

10 When You Are Committed, That Means “no Matter What.”

When you decide to commit to one another, it means you have to remain committed no matter what. Do not allow finances, health, work or anything else to get in your way. All relationships have issues, but what matters is how the couples deal with those issues. So don't get ready to get up and run at the first sign of trouble. Your partner needs you during tough times. If you love your partner, you will stick together and figure things out. For better or for worse remember?

11 Tell Each Other “I Love You” and Mean It

From time to time, your partner needs to hear that three word phrase “I Love You.” Tell them this. Remind them just how much you love and care about them. Let them know that there is only room for him or her in your heart. It may seem juvenile but it is important. And no matter how busy your lives are, find the time to do romantic things with one another.

Those are 11 secrets for a successful relationship. I mentioned “married” a lot in there, but if you are not married, then you can still apply those same tips to the relationship you are in. If you do get married, don’t end up being another one of those statistics. Have a happy marriage and take my tips to heart. What are your tips? Do you have any tips for a happy marriage? What has or hasn’t worked for you?