Men are competitive by nature, and if there is one thing that will flare up his testosterone and have him feeling territorial it’s discussing exes. Despite his macho image, his ego turns to silly putty easily, and hearing how your old flames turned your knees to jelly or sent flowers to your mum will make him feel insecure, and possibly inferior. Want to avoid the hassle? Here are eight things to keep out of conversation...
1. “He Left Me Heartbroken”
To men, this sounds like “I still think about him, and I still love him. I’d take him back in a heartbeat”, no matter how much you stress that you’ve moved on, and don’t have feelings for him anymore. It just sounds too...painful, and emotionally charged. Feel free to tell him that you were hurt, but leave your heart intact.
2. Green Envy
Men are programmed to want to provide for their family, whether it's by buying food, paying bills or splashing the cash on treats, and you can be sure that most men will be trying their best to support you. Telling him your ex earns more will feel exactly like a kick somewhere painful. It’d be like him telling you, his ex had a better body.
3. Future Plans
Plans mean a future, and although your man probably isn’t naive enough to believe you never thought you had one, he doesn’t want to hear about it if he isn’t involved. Couple plans end when the couple does, and don’t need to be thought about again. Build new plans with your new man, and enjoy a new, better life!
4. The Ex Was Funnier?
Every guy wants to believe that he is the funniest man alive. It really is a man thing here...telling him otherwise will hurt his pride, and damage his ego. Tell him he’s hilarious! Reassure him that he is great, and leave your exes' good points behind.
5. “This Was a Gift from...”
It might sound simple enough...he compliments a beautiful piece of jewellery or a top looks great, and you state that so-and-so bought it for you. Immediately he’s thinking that every time you wear it you think of him, and he takes an instant dislike to it. Separate the item and the ex, so you don’t need to say he bought it, or wear something else!
6. "He Was so Popular with My Friends!"
He’ll accept that YOU loved him. You were together, after all, but when you tell him that he was loved by your friends, family and everyone in your town, he’ll feel the pressure mount. Guys want to feel like they are the best; but chances are he will have accepted that you can’t win over everyone. Until you tell him your ex did, in which case he’ll make it his sole mission...
7. “We Came Here Together Once...”
Okay, so chances are you and your old flames did things as a couple, and more often than not you will do the same things with your new man, possibly even at the same places. For the sake of the relationship, it’s better to wipe these memories aside, and start again, so he doesn’t feel that he has to make it better, more romantic, more memorable. Let your new relationship breathe on its own, rather than comparing it to your old ones.
8. Anything Sex Related
Seriously, avoid this topic. Say he was good, and he’ll want to know if he’s better, and he’ll never know if you are telling the truth. Tell him he was rubbish, and he’ll think he could be rubbish too, and you’d stay with him. Plus, he’ll think about your ex the next time you try to seduce him...keep sex sexy, and the ex out cold.
Men are hard work...they have egos we need to feed and pride to flatter. He’s worth it though...avoiding these conversations will keep your relationship fresh and happy, and leave the past where it belongs. Which is a good thing, because if your ex was any good, he’d be your future, and if he wasn’t, he doesn’t deserve to be there, whether in person or in memory. Know a conversation we just shouldn’t have with our men? Please share it with me!
Top Photo Credit: ©papErdoLL