All Women's Talk

12 Tips on Coming out of the Closet ...

By Melanie

Coming out of the closet is tough for many individuals. Did you know that many youngsters commit suicide simply because they could not find a way to come out of the closet? If you are having problems allowing others to see you for who you really are, then I have some tips that I would like to share with you. Below are 12 tips how to come out of the closet. Spread them around to others that you know, because they too could be battling their inner self.

12 You do Not Have a Deadline

First of all, you should know that you do not have a deadline for coming out of the closet. You may have some gay partners that have already came out of the closet who are trying to pressure you into it, but you should not allow this. You need to be really ready when you come out.

11 Tell Your Friends First

You may want to start by telling your friends before you tell your family. Your true friends will appreciate you for being honest with them. Those who do not accept you were never really your friends to start with.


Ferris wheel kiss

Nosy friends

10 Don’t Give the News through a Third Party

If you think you should deliver the news through a third party, then you may want to think again. When your family learns this, they will need to directly hear it from you.

9 Don’t Use a Defensive Tone

When you are coming out of the closet, you need to avoid using a defensive tone.

8 Give It Time

When you tell family members, you need to give them some time to let it absorb it before expecting the worst. If you had a good relationship with your mom and dad before you came out of the closet, then chances are they are going to accept you. It could be right away or it could take some time. You need to be patient in this case.

7 You First Need to Accept Yourself

First of all, before you come out of the closet, you need to accept yourself. No-one will accept you until you can, first.

6 Be Ready for Consequences

When you come out of the closet, there could be some consequences and this is something you should be ready for. Any action is going to have a corresponding reaction, so you need to keep this in mind when you are revealing who you really are. Are you ready for the results that come with your decision?

5 Don’t Mind Other People

I know, it is a cruel world and not every individual out there is open minded, especially when it comes to sexuality issues. However, you should not let those close minded people hold you back from revealing who you really are. A couple of people whispering or gossiping about you is not going to harm you.

4 Be Lenient when You Are Coming out of the Closet to Your Parents

When coming out to your parents, you should be lenient. They may explode and say some hateful things that are hard to forgive, but that is just them being caught in a surprising moment. Your mom may also tell you that she knew it all along. Moms have difficulty admitting that they did not know something, especially when it is something this big.

3 Choose the Right Time

You should not only choose the right time for you, but you should also choose the right time for your friends and family members. You are the best judge of when it is the best time to tell everyone. You may want to tell everyone when you are at a family gathering or you may wish to speak with each family member individually.

2 Keep It Simple

When you are coming out of your closet, you should keep it simple. Don’t go making a big, dramatic deal out of it. Something simple includes “by now, you may have heard that I am gay. This is my partner, his/her name is ---- and I hope you all will make him/her feel welcome.”

1 Speak Clearly

When you are telling everyone, you should speak clearly and do not joke or laugh during the process. When you are speaking with your family and friends and coming out of the closet, you should not speak as if you are ashamed about it. You should speak in a happy manner, because you are proud of yourself as you are not doing anything wrong.

I had a friend that was gay and I was the first one he told. That didn’t change my opinion about him. Have any of you ever come out of the closet? Do you need any extra advice or have a situation you have a question about? Feel free to ask.

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