The transition from friends to dating can be tough on both people... who knows what is acceptable now and what’s not? Someone you used to tell everything to, including how long it’s been since you last shaved your legs, is now someone you want to impress... it can be a minefield! My friends have found this to be an increasing trend though, and at least if you are friends first you know the real him before you get involved and don't have to worry about him being a keeper or not... Here are my top ten tips for making it work!
So watchinga movie in your PJ's was okay when you were friends, but now you're dating. He needs to see you in a whole new light. Don’t get stuck in the trap that he already knows who you are... be exciting, and impress!
Think about who you are talking to. In the past, sharing intimate details was okay, but now... well, would you tell anyone else that you’ve worn the same lingerie for three days? I didn’t think so! Re-adjust him in your head, so that you don’t tell him things he doesn’t need to know!
Don’t get caught in the idea that he’s seen you at your best already, and make sure that you make an effort. Wash your hair, shave your legs, get your nice clothes out, put make up on. He is no longer just a friend, so you need to impress and seduce!
Instead of him coming around to yours, go on aromantic date. A proper one, where he picks you up, and you dress up. It’s fun, it creates memories and it clearly separates it from a normal night in front of the TV!
A lot of my friends have struggled with this. Usually they stick rigidly to the three dates rule, only going further than a kiss when they feel ready but certainly after three dates... but with a guy you already know, is there an etiquette? Surely you can count the curry as one date, the film as the next... while I’d always recommend doing things at your own pace, sticking to this rule can’t hurt, and will show that you aren’t easy!
So usually you compliment the guy, right? But this one already knows that he has you in stitches, that you like his cologne and that his clothes suit him... but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t tell him anyway! Compliment him. He’ll love it and it'll help strengthen the bond of anew relationship.
Being protective isn’t a bad thing... in fact it’s really normal! Act like a girlfriend, and make sure he introduces you as one! Don’t be stroppy, though. That’s not an attractive trait in anyone's book!
Do you usually spend every night together? Have a girly night, or just a night in alone. Make him miss you and value what he has. This is also a good way to get him to evaluate his feelings for you ifhe hasn't fallen for you yet...
The physical side of things, such as holding hands and kissing, can be awkward if you’ve been friends first. So make sure you don’t neglect this! Remember that being friends first is a benefit and shouldn’t hold you back.
Don’t try to morph into his ex girlfriend, the kind of girlfriend his friends want, or his mum. He loves you for who you are, and he knows you well enough to know if you are pretending to be someone else!
While it can seem so daunting, my best friend dated several men and every time our mutual friend was there to hold her hand when it went wrong. They are now engaged and perfect for each other! So it can be a blessing if you follow these rules. Have you got a tip for swapping friendship for love? Please let me know!