My Wife Doesn't Work ...

By Guest

My Wife Doesn't Work ...

By Luann Dawkins

I was at a party the other night with my husband and was in a nice conversation with two women I had just met. My husband (lets call him Barney) was standing behind me conversing with the husbands of these women and had also just met them. Of course when a wife is within earshot of her husband she always has one ear on his conversation, we have to make sure he is not divulging state secrets about our household or making a fool out of us. So, I was listening to his story and low and behold he said the words....MY WIFE DOESN'T WORK!!!!

I had never heard that bit of filth roll off his tongue before, so naturally I was stunned! What does he mean "I don't work"??? Does he not realize what a massive undertaking it is just to get him all he needs and desires in his daily life? Apparently not.

The ride home was silent, save for the ever annoying, "what's wrong?" That went on for at least 5 miles to which I replied, "nothing, I'm fine." I decided when we arrived at the house, I would have ample time in my nightly bath to simmer and plot my revenge. I gave great thought to cleaning the toilet with his tooth brush, adding an entire bottle of starch to his underwear, and putting salt in his coffee instead of sugar. But then I realized that none of those things would change his perception of what I do. Although they sure would be satisfying!!!! Instead, I decided to give his a little taste of my daily life.

On the following weekend I was mysteriously struck with a debilitating case of stomach flu! "What a shame I'm so ill Barney, I had so much that has to be done this weekend, do you think you could change your plans and pitch in with the household chores?" Like moth to a flame Barney bit. "Sure I can help, you just rest and leave it all to me." "Oh, Barney you are such a dear, Thank you."

I chuckle as I write this because that was the sweetest weekend of my married life. I made sure Barney never got to sit down for more than two seconds at a time. He went to the grocery store, did the laundry, dusted, vacuumed, cleaned the kitchen, bathrooms, and changed sheets, weeded the garden, bathed the dogs and three cats (that was particularly amusing), cooked breakfast lunch and dinner. And as if on cue, my son threw up all over the carpet. Yes, Karma can certainly bite you in the rear.

A wise word to all the Barneys' of the world, when in conversation with others do not ever say anything about your wife that is not first sent to committee, voted on and approved.

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Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

That last comment was for James. You shouldnt be married.

Your marriage is destined for divorce. He asks what's wrong, and you say nothing. Then you plot revenge. You didn't actually engage in revenge, but I get the feeling you have done so in the past, or will do so in the future. The lack of honest communication in your marriage will destroy it.

So just so I get this straight instead of trying to talk to him and explain how much you work at home instead you fake an illness(lying) and made him do extra work ontop of his job and even more than what you normally do(lazy). Wow your husband is right you really don't work on nothing, but pleasing yourself.

To Anonymous, Feminism hasn't ruined women. It has made them better. More productive, more assertive, more independent, . Your wife does not sound like a feminist. You are confused. She sounds like she takes you for granted. You have been spoiling her and shes used to it. You need to sit down and make a list of chores that each ofshould do. That way she is clear about what she should contribute. Feminism improved women not ruinedthem.

NEWS FLASH: you don't work. No matter how tough you imagine your stay-at-home duties to be, it's not a job.

What a fu.cki.ng cu.nt you are, that's why I'm staying away from marriage, women usually turn into complete cun.ts. Why not talk to him about the issue and how much it bothers you instead of plotting a revenge ? jesus christ I wish I were gay sometimes. Yes I'm a guy but doing that to your husband just for saying those words is mean, it shows you don't really care about him, and the fact that he offered himself to do all the household chores means he cares about you. If you don't have a job then YOU DON'T WORK.

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