Gaining confidence isn't something that happens overnight. Some people are just born with an innate confidence that could actually be genetic. And then there are others who grow up in an outgoing family and constantly find themselves in situations where they are the center of attention. I, on the other hand tend to be a shy person usually but I'm working towards becoming more confident in social situations. And here are my top ten ways to be less shy and more confident.
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Who says karaoke is only for the brave of heart. Even shy people should try this once, no matter how scared you are. It's a lot more fun to go with a group of friends as opposed to with a date, so that you have moral support and so that you are not so conscious. I know a favoritehobby for many of you is singing in the shower so practise practise practise before you make your big debut at the Karaoke machine.
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It doesn't have to be a huge activist group, just something small. Maybe a book reading club where you all read the same great book and get together once a week to chat about what you think. When you are stating your opinion about something, it can't be wrong so there's no need to fret about giving the wrong answer. What about Tuesday night bingo at the local VFW. That's a group and you don't have to say anything unless you win! Bingo!
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There are two ways that exercisecan work — you can do it on your own and feel better about yourself or join a gym and use it to socialise. Working out regularly will lead to a better body which in turn will boost your self image. When you like what you see in the mirror, you will naturally feel more self-confident. But a gym offers so much more avenues. It is a great place not just to meet guys but to make friends as well!
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By giving a compliment to someone else, you are reaching outside your bubble of security. The more you do this, the easier it will become to do it more often. And it's a great way to break the ice. Compliments not only make the other person feel good about him/herself, but it also makes you feel good about making that other person happy. And it's a great way to start a conversation with someone you like. Think of the chain reaction you might be creating: you compliment someone, they compliment someone else, and so on down the line. You've just helped boost more than your own confidence!
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Standing tall and sitting without slouching can make you feel better about yourself instantly, therefore, raising your confidence level. It may only make you feel a bit more confident, but even a little is helpful, don't you agree? Good posture can be enhanced by the clothes you wear or the shoes you put on (fabulous high heels always make me stand better), as well as making a conscious effort to stand with pride. Hold your head up high and smile because you are gorgeous!
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Learning how to do something new is one way to show yourself that you are perfectly capable of learning new things. And the better you are at it, the better you will feel about yourself. So go join that photography class or that music class that you always wanted to. Maybe try Latin Ballroom dancing? And hey, if it turns out that you're not good at something, try to make the most of it by having fun and don't be shy to make new friends!
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It's always good to try something completely out of character, something you don't do every day. Bungee jumping or sky diving are a bit extreme for most people, but these are great confidence builders. Simpler things might be to go dancing by yourself, attend an open house for people you don't know, or invite an elderly neighbor to the movies. A spontaneous Las Vegas wedding perhaps? Being spontaneous even for a day can be exhilarating!
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Helping out at the local soup kitchen, doing arts and crafts with kids at the local folk festival, or doing some dishes at a nearby nursing home are excellent ways to put yourself out there. There isn't usually a monetary reward that comes with this, but I guarantee that you will feel great at the end of it! The appreciation that often comes from the people you are volunteering for is plentiful. When you see the smiles that you created, you will pat yourself on the back and hold your head up high.
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Who says you have to smile only at someone you know or at a guy you're trying to flirt with. Smiling at a stranger is the simplest way to become less shy. It doesn't cost anything to smile and you don't even have to utter a single word. Don't feel bad if the person doesn't smile back and try not to take it personally. There aren't many people that go around smiling at random people, so you might end up taking someone by surprise. It is contagious though, so you've been warned.
Working on becoming less shy and building up your self confidence is an ongoing task for most of us. I hope you will try at least a few of these steps at building confidence for yourself. Even if it's just one simple change a week, that's better than not trying at all. Do you have anymore suggestions on how to be less shy? I'd love to know!
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