A woman is a delicate flower, a beautiful, divine creation, she’s not like anything you’ve seen before, so it’s quite logical you don’t understand everything she says. Right? Well, guys, here’s some useful tips for you too. So keep reading because I’m about to tell you a little bit more about all those things we say hoping you’ll finally learn how to interpret them.
1. Do I Look Fat?
Watch guys, this is a trick question- there is no right answer! If you say no, you’re going be accused of lying. If you, God forbid, decide to speak your mind, more troubles will follow. Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT say, “Well, sweetie, you have been eating a lot of sweets lately”, because you’re going to spend the next couple of hours trying to explain that you do love her and you don’t didn’t really mean to say that she’s fat.
Nothing is usually something. Wait, strike that, nothing is always something and it usually has a lot to do with you! You either messed up big time or forgot about something, and I sincerely hope it’s not her birthday or your anniversary! In its mild, first stage, the “nothing” mood can be easily fixed – all you have to do is remember what you did wrong and find a good explanation for. Ignoring the “nothing” mood can have a damaging effect on your lifestyle and daily habits – it actually spreads like a plague and you’ll soon realize that “nothing” is everything you’ll have on your menu today, tomorrow and every following day… Until you finally acknowledge “nothing” and find a way to fix it.
3. How do I Look?
You are supposed to notice something. I can’t tell you what exactly because it could be anything – new shoes, new dress, new hairstyle. But, come on, just use your “quick scan”look! You know, the one you use to check out other girls when you’re with us. We’re not expecting you to notice everything, but we do appreciate your attention. We know we always look beautiful but you HAVE to notice that. P.S: "Fine" is not a valid answer!
4. Can You…?
Yes, you can! You see, we often use these polite ways to say that we need something done and we need it now. “Can you pick up some milk on your way home?”, “Can you fix the hairdryer?”, “Can you…” Failing to give an affirmative answer will probably put her in the mood she’ll describe as “nothing”
5. Five Minutes
In our universe, five minutes can last anywhere from half an hour to two hours. Five minutes is exactly the time we need to get ready to go out; if you’re waiting for us, we’re five minutes away; most of our conversations last five minutes only and we rarely stay inside the shop longer than five minutes. It’s not our fault you perceive time differently!
6. Do Whatever You Want
Our way is better but never mind, we’ll do things your way this time. Your idea better be a darn good one because, if it fails, you will get a supply of the “I told you so” line to last you a month!
“I give up!” Fine is the word she’ll use if you refuse to change your mind or keep insisting on whatever you’re insisting on at the moment. This is her last attempt to make you rethink your decision because you, hopefully, know the “Nothing” mood will follow soon. She will pout until your plan fails big time, but don’t worry, saying “I told you so” will cheer her up more than you think.
8. Never Mind
Found in conjunction with “nothing” this word means big trouble for you. Don’t you dare acting like this is no big deal! Get to the bottom of it and fix your wrongdoings fast! If you, however, did what she told you to do but the end result didn’t turn out to be as good as you thought it would be – “never mind” means she’s happy you gave it your best shot.
9. Yes, We Could do That…
No, this doesn’t mean your idea is just great and she can’t wait to give it a shot. In fact, that’s probably the worst idea you’ve ever had and she’s just stalling, trying to find a nice way to tell you that. So, if you feel she’s about to say something more, don’t interrupt her with, “Great! Baby, I knew you’d love it!”
, this thesaurus is far from finished, have that in mind. This is just something to get you started. But, here, ladies, you’re more than welcome to jump in. Come on, do you have something to add?
Top Photo Credit: floodkoff