By Luann Dawkins

I was at a party the other night with my husband and was in a nice conversation with two women I had just met. My husband (lets call him Barney) was standing behind me conversing with the husbands of these women and had also just met them. Of course when a wife is within earshot of her husband she always has one ear on his conversation, we have to make sure he is not divulging state secrets about our household or making a fool out of us. So, I was listening to his story and low and behold he said the words....MY WIFE DOESN'T WORK!!!!

I had never heard that bit of filth roll off his tongue before, so naturally I was stunned! What does he mean "I don't work"??? Does he not realize what a massive undertaking it is just to get him all he needs and desires in his daily life? Apparently not.

The ride home was silent, save for the ever annoying, "what's wrong?" That went on for at least 5 miles to which I replied, "nothing, I'm fine." I decided when we arrived at the house, I would have ample time in my nightly bath to simmer and plot my revenge. I gave great thought to cleaning the toilet with his tooth brush, adding an entire bottle of starch to his underwear, and putting salt in his coffee instead of sugar. But then I realized that none of those things would change his perception of what I do. Although they sure would be satisfying!!!! Instead, I decided to give his a little taste of my daily life.

On the following weekend I was mysteriously struck with a debilitating case of stomach flu! "What a shame I'm so ill Barney, I had so much that has to be done this weekend, do you think you could change your plans and pitch in with the household chores?" Like moth to a flame Barney bit. "Sure I can help, you just rest and leave it all to me." "Oh, Barney you are such a dear, Thank you."

I chuckle as I write this because that was the sweetest weekend of my married life. I made sure Barney never got to sit down for more than two seconds at a time. He went to the grocery store, did the laundry, dusted, vacuumed, cleaned the kitchen, bathrooms, and changed sheets, weeded the garden, bathed the dogs and three cats (that was particularly amusing), cooked breakfast lunch and dinner. And as if on cue, my son threw up all over the carpet. Yes, Karma can certainly bite you in the rear.

A wise word to all the Barneys' of the world, when in conversation with others do not ever say anything about your wife that is not first sent to committee, voted on and approved.

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Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

My wife stays at home with our 2 toddlers 5 days a week while I work, and then she works on Saturdays while I stay at home with the kids. If any of you other men had to deal with just ONE DAY per week as a stay-at-home spouse/parent, you would understand what this article is about. Working outside the home is SIMPLE compared to what my wife does. She WORKS. Kudos to her....

thats cool so what the story for me then ? my wife does not cook or clean at all no laundry. she watch's baby and ll day picks up and drops off her daughter at school. she does nt make lunches for anyone, breakfast is cereal I work 5 days week at least. I do not have any free time to myself she refuses to leave the house without me she will not allow me to sleep more than 6 hours there is no need to wake me up I do all the grocery shopping and cleaning I work nights. am I wrong here to say I could do that job better ?

Well, you certainly are clever, and your husband took the "bait," but what a disappointing reaction to a harmless comment! One healthy option that you can consider if your husband says something that hurts your feelings (ie., triggers a deep-held negative belief about yourself that you might not even be aware of), is to be direct and say how it made you feel. Not attacking him, but just: "Honey (or whatever you call him), it hurt my feelings when you said to Tom that I don't work." Then he can clarify what he meant, and if there are underlying issues you can talk it through, but honestly most of the time with men they just weren't thinking the (incredibly analytical) way that women think. Game-playing to teach your husband a listen is not only mean-spirited, but probably useless. If he already appreciated everything you did and you misunderstood him, what did that accomplish except you feeling distant from him for that week? Real intimacy is about being vulnerable, not hiding your feelings and playing on opposite teams. If this is a real challenge for you then I would suggest couples counseling or even individual therapy. Best of luck.

Just sick, just like home. Work 40 hours a week and come home to dirty house, grumpy wife, depressed wife. I come home and take care of the kids Maybe if you got off your ass and put your heart into something worthwhile you wouldn't be so fuckin depressed all the time. And no, I'm not passive aggressive, I do tell her these things in a nicew ay. It improves for about 4 days then goes back to normal. This woman can hardly to a load of laundry - she will tell me how difficult it is, but I can do the laundry no problem taking about 10 total minutes of time. 1-3 minutes to gather it up. 2 minutes to dump it in the wash. 1 minute to swap to dryer, 5 minutes to fold/hang. Big fucking whoop. Surfaces have not been dusted since I last dusted them. COme home to piles of laundry. Says she can't do it because of the kids. How come the kids want to help me fold/hang? Depression is very real folks. Don't let your stay at home wife fool herself. Cooking is probably the hardest part of her day. Eating icecream and lying to herself is the 2nd hardest.

I think that it's a team work! Both should work and both should help on the chores so that both can spent quality time with the kids as well as with each other. The problem is a problem when one feels that is doing more than the other. I respect women that appreciate and also that are willing to sacrifice for the family. As a man just motivate me to do the same for her.!

What a fu.cki.ng cu.nt you are, that's why I'm staying away from marriage, women usually turn into complete cun.ts. Why not talk to him about the issue and how much it bothers you instead of plotting a revenge ? jesus christ I wish I were gay sometimes. Yes I'm a guy but doing that to your husband just for saying those words is mean, it shows you don't really care about him, and the fact that he offered himself to do all the household chores means he cares about you. If you don't have a job then YOU DON'T WORK.