Everyone knows you shouldn’t go there, but what if you can’t help it? Who’s to say your Mr. Right can’t be her Mr. Wasn’t Right? If you’ve decided to give it a go, you have to be careful or you’ll risk losing your friend and your partner... here are my top eight tips on dating a friend’s ex!
1. Discuss It with Your Friend
Make sure your friend is okay with you dating her ex. If she isn’t, it would be cold-hearted to do it anyway, and you risk losing a friend. Tell her first, and ask her how she feels. Explain what the attraction is, and try to read how she reacts.
2. Allow Cool-off Time
If they have only just split up, leave it a while. You don’t want to be his rebound girl, and your friend needs to be over him, too. Let all the raw feelings settle before you stir things up again.
3. Don’t Feel Guilty
If you’ve both decided to go for it, don’t feel guilty. It isn’t your fault, and while you should be respectful of your friend, you’ve done nothing wrong as long as you asked her first.
4. Is It Worth It?
Consider who comes first. Would you sacrifice your friend for him, or is she worth five of him? Make sure you both want the same thing, and that you aren’t needlessly hurting people. If you can’t see a future with him, find another man for now.
5. Put Your Friend First
Your friend is likely to feel sad and left out, even if she has no feelings for him. Make sure you don’t neglect her for him. Arrange weekly meet ups, and go shopping or to spas together. Make sure you look after your friendship, too!
6. Be Discreet
She doesn’t need, or want, to know what he calls you in bed, or that he goes wild for your leopard print thong. Be discreet, and save her some face. She’ll thank you for it in the end!
7. Don’t Compare Your Relationships
Remember that they broke up for a reason, and to make your life easier, they need to get along. Don’t compare relationships, and don’t get jealous of them being friends. She will know more about him at the start, but you’ll learn it all. Stay calm, and collected.
8. Use It to Your Advantage
Use her knowledge of him to ensure you know his favourite food, and what to get him for Christmas. Having someone who knows him just as well as you has its benefits, so make use of them!
While dating your friend's ex is a minefield, it can be navigated with care and attention. Make sure nobody feels neglected, and keep yourself from getting jealous, and you’ll be fine! Have you got a tip on dating friend's ex? I’d love to hear it!
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