All Women's Talk

8 Ways to Be Careful with a New Relationship ...

By Lyndsie

A new relationship is like a tender young flower. I know that sounds cheesy, but just think about it for a minute. The rules of dating are ever more complicated, and you have to go easy if you want things to last. There are definite dos and don'ts when you're involved in a budding relationship, and you have to tread carefully so you don't move too fast – or make a wrong move altogether. There are a number of ways to be careful with a new relationship; here are 8 of them that might make things easier for you.

1 Don't Rush the Labels

Sometimes, labels ruin everything. I myself hate labels, for relationships, statuses, sexuality, and all kinds of other things. Who cares? If you're happy with him – or her – and he's happy with you, it doesn't really matter what you call each other. Just worry about getting to know each other first, about what you have in common and what you like about each other. Rather than introducing him as your anything, just use his name – after all, that's who he is.

2 Don't Go Too Fast

Sometimes moving fast can be tempting, especially if you're really into the person you've just started seeing. You're happy together, you feel giddy, you want to spend every spare second with your new catch. That can get tricky, though, because you not only start to lack proper perspective, but you also soon wind up without any mystery left. You know everything there is to know about each other and it's only been a few weeks. You need time apart; it will increase your excitement in the long run.


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3 The Rules of Division

To that end, it's also incredibly important to make sure your time is properly and adequately divided between other things. Relationship gurus maintain that it's vital to maintain what is known as the 50/30/20 rule, i.e., half of your time can be spent with the person you're seeing, while 30 percent should be spent hanging out with your friends, and you need to have at least 20 percent of your time devoted solely to yourself. That way, you and your new partner don't smother each other, you won't be completely dissing your friends, and you won't lose yourself, either.

4 No Discussions through Texts

With everybody texting everything all the time, always, everyday, it's tempting to let texts rule your relationship as well. Bad idea. If you're going to be discussing some aspect of your relationship, or worse, if you're having a little lover's spat, you don't want it to be textual. You lose context, it's easy to misunderstand each other, and you'll never learn how to deal with the tough aspects of your relationship in a face to face setting.

5 Don't Compromise Yourself

To some extent, when you're in a new relationship, it's sometimes tempting to mold yourself into what you think is your new partner's ideal. If you're dating a guy who loves football, for example, you might pretend to like it too, even if you're not really fond of it. While it's okay to take an interest in his interests, don't compromise who you are. Stay true to your opinions and your values, while respecting your partner's.

Shakti and #6 are very important....

6 No Comparisons

One of the worst things you can do is compare someone new to an ex. Even if you're thinking to yourself that your new beau is ten times better than your ex, there's no need to compare. Your new partner is an individual, and should be treated as such. Even if the comparisons are favorable, you may be sending your new partner the message that your ex is still on your mind.

7 Outline Your Boundaries

Everyone has boundaries, and it's only fair and right to let your new relationship know what yours are. At the same time, you should be interested in your partner's boundaries as well. If you like to hold hands or don't like to kiss in public, be honest about it from the start. Otherwise, your new partner might get the wrong idea and mistake personal boundaries for a lack of interest.

8 Be Realistic

There are lots of different relationship. You can be casually dating, looking for a long term commitment, or only interested in hooking up. Whatever you're looking for and whatever your new partner wants, be true to that. If he wants something casual, don't start trying to force the relationship into something more than it is.

This might seem complicated, and to some extent that's true. New relationships can be difficult to work through, but if you're honest with one another, the journey goes much more smoothly. What do you expect out of a new relationship?

Top Photo Credit: Easyguy...

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