7 Ways to Make a Relationship Work after a Cheating Episode ...

They say you can fix a broken vase but the glue will always show. Now, that may work for glassware but relationships are something else. It’s true that, once an adultery has been committed, you can’t expect the things to go back to normal overnight, but many couples have managed to beat the odds, get past the cheating episode and live happily ever after. So, if you’re the one that cheated, the one that is trying to get past the partner’s infidelity or, if you just know a person that might use an advice – here are 7 steps that will make dealing with the situation easier.

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Think Things through

The cheating one has to decide whether he loves his partner enough to do everything possible to salvage the relationship. Cheating is the worst thing you can do and it would be foolish to expect the other person to say, “Ok, I forgive you. Now, did you get that shampoo I asked you to pick up on your way home?” It takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice! Now, if you have been cheated on, I can totally understand how you feel right now. And, believe me, hiding it and pretending you don’t care is wrong. Let it all out, cry, don’t keep the pain bottled up inside. Once that is out of your system you will be able to think more rationally and decide whether you want the cheater back or no.

Get to the Bottom of It

Talking about the things that made you or your partner resort to cheating is not easy but it’s the only way. You see, I think most of my relationships failed because of the fact that I like to shove problems under the rug and pretend that everything is OK. Now, that’s definitely the easier way but it only leads to more problems and ends with cheating, breaking up or both. Find the problems and work up the solutions so you could have a fresh start.

Forget the Words and Focus on the Acts

“I love you” sure did mean a lot before that cheating episode but, honestly, it’s worth a diddly squat now! So, if you are the cheating one, find other ways to demonstrate your love and regain your “relationship credibility”. Just make sure they don’t involve material things because your loved one might feel like you are trying to buy their love. Explain how sorry you are, take responsibility for your actions and be prepared to answer all the questions your partner may have.

Forgive and Forget

Your partner had cheated on you, you’ve discussed it and decided to move on and try to make it work. Congratulations for letting the love win! However, jealousy and the lack of trust may interfere here so make sure that, once you forgive your cheating partner and learn a lesson, you observe the cheating episode as a thing of the past. Your partner should help you with that by working hard to regain your trust and you should be open to that. Don’t give in easily because he/she has to learn a lesson too, but don’t fall into the trap of using that mistake as an excuse to act jealous, make insulting comments or make him/her suffer.

Rekindle the Old Flames

Think about the things that brought you two together, that made you grow strong as a couple and re-experience those moments. Start going to dinners and visiting museums once again or go camping, hiking or anything you like. Do all those things you used to do while your relationship was still fresh. You see, one of the most common reasons for cheating is the feeling of being stuck in a rut. And, let’s face it, all relationships go through that boring phase when one person knows exactly what the other person will say, do or suggest.

Don’t Be Vindictive

Your partner’s cheating is not your get-out-of-jail-free card. If you take his cheating as a permission to cheat back once the good opportunity comes out, what’s the point of saving the relationship now only to destroy it again in a couple of days, months or years?

Work on the Trust

Every healthy relationship is build upon trust so, once you manage to trust each other again, things can go their usual way. Sometimes it takes years to get the relationship to what it used to be before the “unfortunate event”, sometimes you realize that you can never feel the same for that person again but sometimes, cheating or being cheated on opens your eyes and makes you realize how much you love that person and how you can’t stand the thought of losing her. The cheater should work very hard on rebuilding that trust – no lies, no checking out other girls/guys and no shutting off the phone.

What is your take on this? Have you ever been in this situation and, if yes, how did you deal with it? Feel free to add more tips and share your opinion on cheating, forgiving and moving on. Would you find it in your heart to forgive or would you break up immediately?

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Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

Hello , so I was reading this because I feel that the situation I am in right now is similar and wished for some advice I started talking to this guy I met at church and I felt like he was the right for me we had a lot of moments we had that made me think and feel a lot for him , one day we opened up to each other and we confessed to each other that we had feelings for one another and how we felt about it we decided to wait in God timing for everything to go right for us to take a relationship in God timing we thought it was best for us to be close and get to know each other more and keep praying that if its God will time passed and I was happier with him and he was as well , but there came a day where all that changed I started seeing him diferent around me he would still tell m nice things but at time I would feel him so far away I didn't understand why , throughout time I got the answer to my question through social media I saw a picture of him with another girl hugging and showing that they were in a relationship it broke me down because we had lots a hope for each other he build me a rainbow full of happiness and like any other girl I fell into depression and cried didn't know what to do , of course I asked why he did it knowing that he was talking to me and praying for me and told him t stop lying to me and show me the truth , he confessed that he was talking to the other girl and that yes it was fun but that was it with her that she was just a person he thought he would like but he realized that she wasn't the one he wanted to be with he said how he regrets it and he would of wished to tell me sooner and that he was in a moment of confusion and didn't know what he wanted and he was broken I understood I wasn't very convinced because I was hurt and I prayed I realized to give him a chance to start over with me and forget that he was talking to another girl and make things right again he felt that he didn't he didn't deserve a second chance because he felt horrible about and take all things back , right now yes I like him a lot and i still feel hurt what he did to me and don't comprehend why he did it but im willing to continue to pray and be there for him and he as well said he would put his part him talked to the girl and told her that i was the one he wanted to be with and yes she was hurt and made me feel bad in a way because I know someone was going to get hurt , its difficult because i feel like hugging him and being close but I know its not right because this is recent , I have thoughts a lot of times because i feel like how about if we get into a relationship someday and he cheats. But i feel if its God will i know we will stay together and grow together .He does tell me to look for God and pray for him and even through all the chaos that i still for God and not depend on him because he failed me My question and advice is it right for me to forgive and forget and what can I do to overcome what he did and for my heart to heal am I suppose to get away for him for a while and keep praying ? I really do want us to work and do things and he as well expressed to me that he also wants that

My husband is trying everything to "make it up to me" after I got tired of him cheating on me with numerous women and I asked him for a divorce. We have gone for therapy, he has been cooking, cleaning, making romantic gestures, leaving his phone out and about when before it was glued to his hand, coming home on time...you name it he is doing it. And you know what it means zilch to me! I just can't believe the man I loved with my entire being could be so cold, cruel and just downright heartless. I actually think I hate him. Whatever efforts he's been making are met with disinterest on a good day or insults and maybe flying furniture on a bad day. I'm so angry and hurt I can't see past my rage. I love this man but he hurt me so bad. For six good months he was ignoring me, starting fights with me, refusing to touch me, lying to me, disap pearing for days on end and much worse. I was trying so hard to "fix" things and make my marriage work and he just got worse and it was becoz of his whores. I lost close to 20kgs from stress, got so depressed I just wanted to sleep and never get up, was crying at least twice a day, felt like I was losing my mind and almost got fired from job coz I was a wreck. And now he wants to fix things when he broke it? Hell no! I think I can accept the fact that the pain he caused me is stronger than I am.

I found out two days ago that of the seven months I have been dating my boyfriend he cheated on me for four... He has lied to me about everything, from day one and my world now is just... Shattered. I had suspected infidelity, and had brought it up and he admitted it, but lied and told me that he hadn't slept with this young woman since we officially began dating. I told him I forgave him, because it wasn't really cheating if we weren't fully together, but it hurt to know that he had still slept with her while we were trying to figure out if we wanted to date. Now this... And he didn't even tell me... A friend of his who I'd met once told me and then I confronted him about it. I have gotten all the information from everyone involved (including all if the people who knew it was happening and didn't say anything) I've made it very clear to this young woman that her plan to gain my fiancé (he proposed on my birthday, three weeks after the last time they slept together) as her own had failed and that she was to stay away from us and let us be. Even though I'm staying... And I DO want to fix this with him and get him help (he doesn't have a reason for why he cheated, not even a lie... He just says he doesn't know) I I don't know if I can... I moved to a different country for him, I have no one here but him... I am so incredibly list and confused. How how do I fix myself so that I can make a better and firmer decision on what to do, how do I help him so that he can be better to me I'd I do decide to stay beyond seeing him get help and how do I let go of all this hurt so that we can move on and try to move forward with our lives? I know we can't go back, I know I can't pretend it's Okay like I have been but I don't know what to donor how to feel... I'm so depressed and upset when he's sleeping or at work, but I'm trying to hide just how upset I still am when he's around... I just want to stop being so hurt by this...

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@Crystal Skye it's hard to stay with a person who was emotionally connected with another woman. That battle I wouldn't want to fight. I am a strong woman, and I feel that I can't fight against that, how could we, when feelings are involved. Physical cheating is something that you might be able to forgive, and move on. Emotional cheating is harder.

I stupidly have asked for sex with a friend of mine and my girlfriend of 6months has found the conversation, shes really mad and says she literally doesn't want to see me again, is there any hope? Or am I wasting my time I really love her and it was a moment of weakness nothing happened bar sex texting.

How do you know if you should even begin to forgive the cheater? Is emotional cheating any better than physical cheating? I was cheated on emotionally and I'm broken but I don't know if I should take him back. Do I let him prove he's fighting for us first?

Husband cheated on me with a prostitute. He said he just did it. He was in another country on business and got approached walking down the street (this was in the Phillipines). He said he realized what he had done 5 seconds into the sex (used a condom) and told her to get the f**k out. He waited 9 months to tell me. I am so angry, we have been together 30 years. I am glad I found your website, as I'm searching for answers. He is beyond remorseful and wants to stay together, we have just started marriage counselling on his insistance!!!

My boyfriend of apts 2 years cheated on me 2 or maybe 3 times. 2 for sure the third time he his own mother told me he had not come home to sleep, so I\'m almost certain that he cheated that time as well. Anyway the first time I went through the pain and hurt and I forgave him, he promised to never do it again. When he stayed out for the night, I let it go because I had no real proof. This last time he cheated sleeping with a cousin of his who confronted me and they had an ongoing relationship through email and texts. I broke up with him the day of that confrontation. He tells me he loves me and he want me to give him another chance. yet I find out now that he has cheated in all his past relationships and it\'s hard for me to believe that he won\'t do it again. Just last week he was already seeking a relationship on a dating site. And when we have broken up in the past he did the same thing, he would immediately delete or block me from his Facebook, and phone and go in dating sites. This time I have stood my ground and haven\'t went back, because I\'m fed up with that childish attitude and behavior of his. He hurt me one to many times and he had disregarded me when I asked him to seek a therapist for help as to why he is this way and enjoys using and playing with woman\'s feelings, as well as lying and so on. He wants me to give him another chance and tries to get me to go out with him. In the past when he didn\'t get his way he would accuse me if having someone else and attack me in a disrespectful way because I didn\'t let him lure me back in to his lying ways. I have forgiven him and yes I love him but I can\'t go back to someone who won\'t even go to seek a therapist and get help, when it\'s the only thing I have asked of him. I told him I would not see him if he doesn\'t take that step, because I really believe he will never change, since this has been his lifestyle and u believe he is sociopath because he had never showed true remorse. He just said I\'m sorry and thinks that it\'s all he should do and I should get over it! What\'s your take?

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