Whether you are dealing with general sadness, the loss of a loved one, a falling out with a friend, or a breakup, there comes a time when you simply have to let go. You might be in a bad relationship now or trying to get over a particular sadness. Either way, there are many ways to know when it’s time to let go that may help you get over that hump.
1. Past Beats Present
In any situation, if you find that you’re spending more time thinking about the past than living in the present, then that’s definitely one way to know when it’s time to let go. You simply cannot live in the past. Doing so is both hurtful and unhealthy. Remembering good times is one thing, but you can’t live there; at some point, you need to move on and immerse yourself in the present.
2. Pain Outweighs Joy
In a bad relationship especially, you know it’s time to move on when you feel more pain than joy. That counts for friendships as well as romantic relationships. Every relationship, no matter what its nature, will bring some amount of pain. In a healthy situation, however, happiness will always outweigh the sorrows. When it stops doing that, it may be time to let go.
3. You Stop Counting Smiles
When I’m sad, I’m always surprised every time I smile – and I sometimes feel guilty about it. I’ll constantly count them, and think to myself, “Okay, so I’ve smiled seven times since X situation happened.” Whether you’re dealing with a heartbreak or a deeper grief, one way to know when it’s time to let go is when you’re able to smile too often to keep count.
4. Everyone Expects Change
Everyone, at one time, probably expects someone in their life to change, but most of us realize you can never force someone else to do that. They have to do it for themselves, by themselves, and forcing them into it is bad for everyone. If you are in a relationship where the other person constantly expects you to change who you are, or if you expect it of that person, you need to realize the toxicity, and think about moving on.
5. Unbalanced Effort
Unquestionably, when you are the only one putting effort into a situation, it’s time to let go. It may be a one-sided friendship or a one-sided relationship. Either way, you cannot carry all the weight on your own shoulders. If you’re constantly the only one putting effort into the situation, you should seriously think about letting go.
6. Lack of Caring
It goes without saying that if a person in your life shows no regard for your feelings, you really don’t need that. If you’re in a situation where you’re presented with a complete lack of caring, then it may not be worth your time. In the long run, it will be far less painful to let go and move on.
7. You Feel It
One of the surest ways to know when it’s time to let go is simply to feel it. You may feel grief mellowing into remembrance, or a feeling of heartache finally letting go of your feelings. It’s important never to rush yourself; often, your feelings have to define themselves, and forcing yourself to get over something before you’re ready can be detrimental in the future.
There are many ways to know when it’s time to let go. While the generalities remain the same, the specifics will be different for everyone. How do you help yourself let go of your hurts?
Top Photo Credit: beastandbean