21 Signs It's Just Sex and Not a Relationship ...

Shanelle Jun 15, 2024

21 Signs It's Just Sex and Not a Relationship ...
21 Signs It's Just Sex and Not a Relationship ...

Just sex-two words that undeniably grab attention, and often lead to a flurry of raised eyebrows and whispered conversations. If you've ever found yourself in a whirlwind affair, caught between sheets and conversations that stop at "good morning," then this article is tailor-made for you. Not to burst your bubble (or maybe do exactly that), but just sex is a reality for many in 2024, particularly in our fast-paced, swipe-right culture where Netflix and chill can sometimes become Netflix and... you get the idea.

Picture this: you’re with someone exclusively for their fantastic physical connection. You’re not emotionally invested; you don’t celebrate month-iversaries, and the idea of a future together is as fuzzy as a Sunday morning hangover. Ah, been there, done that. Personally speaking, during my ill-fated college romance, it took multiple alarm bells and a friend's relentless wisecracks to see that our emotional bond was shallower than a kiddie pool.

But hey, I'm not alone, right? Many folks are navigating these choppy waters, unsure if they’re more like friends with benefits or just conveniently bypassing the friend part altogether. The good news? This guide is your life raft, your beacon of clarity. By the end of this gem, you'll nail the subtle and not-so-subtle signs they don't introduce you to their friends and that classic moment when your chat history brims only with late-night texts. Been a victim of the mysterious ‘Hey stranger’ text at 2 AM? Yes, we’ll decode that too.

Let’s keep it real. The emotional investment from someone who's only in it for the nookie usually equals zilch. You’ll notice scant post-coital cuddles, and the romantic gestures are often as rare as teeth on a hen. Frankly, stuff like getting your first name wrong (ouch, true story) and never discussing any future plans falls right into our hilarious yet brutally honest signs it’s merely a fling.

So why is 2024 any different? Well, with the rise of casual dating apps, navigating the maze of commitment-free entanglements has never been more confusing. Technology's great but often complicates what was already a convoluted pursuit.

In this article, you'll also get plenty of laughs along the way (promise), and considering issues like avoiding public places becomes all too relatable.

Alright, enough teasing. Fasten your seatbelts and arm yourself with some solid insights, as we delve into 21 spot-on signs that confirm you're in it for the fun and not the forever.

1. Every Time You See Each Other It’s Only to Have Sex

hair,person,facial hair,action film,screenshot, So many women and men are having this type of relationship thinking that it’s more and it’s not. It’s Just Sex.

***

This type of relationship is not uncommon, but it is important to remember that it is not a healthy or sustainable one. It is possible to develop feelings for someone you have sex with, but it is unlikely to lead to a lasting relationship. People in this type of relationship should be aware that it is not likely to evolve into a more meaningful one. Additionally, it is important to practice safe sex and to be aware of the potential risks of having sex without a committed relationship.

2. Only Comes over at Night

had,adult,sleepover., They call you around 10 pm or later asking if you can come over or if they can come over around midnight. A lot of people think “oh they are just really busy” no they are calling for a booty call. It’s Just Sex.

***

This behavior is an unmistakable signal that their interest in you isn't about emotional connection, but rather a physical one. If it's always after-hours and never during daylight – think about it, are brunch dates or afternoon walks in the park ever on the agenda? Likely not. It's a relationship that's operating on their time, suiting their needs, and it's all about the convenience of it. That's not partnership; that's a call of desire. In your gut, you know there's no depth to these encounters.

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3. Doesn’t Want to Go out Anywhere

face,human action,hair,nose,cheek, Yes staying at home is nice sometimes but there is a whole world outside of the bedroom. It’s Just Sex

4. Never Talks about Family and Friends

Talk,me,,talk,talk,me,, Think, do you even know if their parents are alive, do they have siblings. If you don’t know it might just be sex.

***

In a real relationship, sharing details about one's inner circle is a given. It's a way to let someone in, to make them feel included in your life. If you're in the dark about even the most basic details of their personal life, it's a pretty telling sign. Conversations that evade anything deeper than surface-level topics can indicate a lack of emotional investment, which is a red flag if you're looking for something more meaningful than casual encounters.

If you're looking to engage your partner in intriguing conversations, why not try some hypothetical questions for couples? These fun queries will not only keep the conversation lively but also stimulate deep thoughts and potentially reveal insights about each other's personality and thought processes.

5. Doesn’t Want to Hear about Your Family and Friends

black and white,photography,monochrome photography,film noir,darkness, Are you bummed out about your family and want to talk about it and they don’t want to hear about it. It could be just sex

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6. Phone Conversations or Text Messages Are Only in a Sexual Nature

you,want,see,picture,sweaty, Do you only swap sexy texts or photos? Some relationships are like this but others are Just Sex.

7. You Only Meet at Places Where Sex Can Occur

furniture,bed,bed sheet,Hey,guys!, Only going to their house/apartment or vice verse might just be sex.

8. No Sleepovers

person,man,male,muscle,mouth, They come over at midnight have sex and then around 2 am they want to go home or send you home. Oh yeah it’s just sex.

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This behavior points to a clear-cut arrangement where emotional ties aren't on the table. If you find that pillow talk is non-existent and the bed is quickly cooled after the deed is done, it's a strong indication that you're in a hookup scenario rather than a blossoming relationship. It's all about physical satisfaction—once that's achieved, the connection seems to fizzle out, literally by night's end. If you're longing for a cuddly morning-after, you may need to adjust your expectations with this setup.

9. You Don’t Eat Together

hair,black hair,face,person,eyebrow, Ever hear that old saying “a couple that eats together stays together”.

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This adage underscores the intimacy of sharing meals, a basic human connection bonding us through the ritual of eating. When your encounters are solely bedroom-based, skipping the dinner table talks, you miss out on this fundamental form of closeness. It's not just about the food—it's the conversations, the laughs, and those tender moments that weave the fabric of a relationship. If all you savor together is the physical, it might be a sign that you're in a casual fling rather than a nourishing partnership.

10. They Take a Shower Right after Sex and Send You on Your Way

face,mouth,sense, Normally you want to rest a bit and maybe talk. When they all of a sudden they want you to leave it’s probably just sex.

11. Never Talk about Life outside the Bedroom

person,speech,speaker, There are so many other things going on that you could talk about.

12. You Only Have a Cell Phone or Beeper Number

face,person,nose,man,male, It could be Just Sex

13. When You Talk It’s Only to Setup a Sex Time

screenshot,action film,midnight,special effects,fictional character, Ever call then and setup a time to meet and you end up having sex. It’s Just Sex.

14. They Avoid You in Public

anime,the,weekend,don,know, You see them and you know they saw you and they turn away. It’s Just Sex.

***

When someone is willing to share intimate moments with you but avoids acknowledging you in social settings, it's a glaring signal that they're separating those aspects of their interaction with you. It may sting a bit to realize this, but clarity is key in these situations. If you find that they're consistently slipping away in crowds or giving you the cold shoulder when friends are around, it's likely that they want to keep things casual and aren't interested in integrating you into their broader life or circle. This detachment is symptomatic of a connection that lacks depth beyond the physical.

15. Only Spends a Couple of Hours with You

person,screenshot,facial hair,Global, Only spend enough time with you to have sex. Then It’s Just Sex.

***

If your partner consistently makes excuses to leave right after intimacy or shows an evident lack of interest in spending quality time before or after the encounter, it's a stark sign. They prioritize their convenience, ensuring minimal investment beyond the physical connection. This behavioral pattern suggests they might not be emotionally invested in the relationship, but rather in satisfying their carnal desires. It's crucial to recognize when you're being relegated to an afterthought rather than being cherished as a valued companion.

16. There is No Quality Time

hair,person,hairstyle,long hair, No matter how busy he says he is, if was serious about the two of you he’d make an effort to spend time with you outside the bedroom.

17. He Keeps His Distance

person,screenshot,Wait.,What?, He makes sure the two of you never get too close emotionally by keeping things from you. If you tell him you like it when he does a certain something, he’ll stop because he wants to keep things casual emotionally.

18. He Tells You so

image,Damn,it,,just,really, Has he ever straight-up told you that he’s not interested in anything serious and just wants to play the field? He wouldn’t be saying these things if it weren’t true!

19. You Initiate All Communication

meal,Why,won't,you,talk, If it’s not about sex, all communication is likely to come from you. Are you the only one suggesting dates? Are you the only one who tries to start a real conversation when the two of you are together?

20. He Doesn’t Care if He Hurts Your Feelings

person,human positions,sitting,professional,DON'T, If you get visibly upset about the lack of communication or closeness between you two and doesn’t care, he probably doesn’t care about you, either.

21. He Cheats

face,person,beauty,hairstyle,brown hair, Or should I say he has multiple sex partners that he’s not very private about. If the guy is openly having sex with multiple partners, it is definitely not a relationship.

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

Hey. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 8 months. He never texts me. Never pays for anything. We hardly ever meet up. He never says I love you & I always have to beg to meet up and he ends up making up an excuse. Yes he has exams and so do I so i understand he's under alot of stress but were on a 2 week holiday from college now so I'm not sure? Help!! My parents say I should tell him to stuff it!

I have known this man for over 10 yrs and I have still yet too meet any of his friends family or children. He is divorced and says he does not want a relationship but when he does he would like it to be with me. he tells me that he really cares for me but can't promise a relationship but he isn't seeing or sleeping with anyone else but I just feel wrong about everything. I've told him that I want a relationship and if I find one I'm leaving him but how does that even work....I can't tell the new guy what's been going on with thus one!

ive known this guy 5 years ago and i fell in love with him since then. the first year we were hanging out and nothing physical happened but he seemed interested in me and after a year we flirted but didnt get into a relation but im madly in love with this guy. and then he asked me to be his girlfriend and we were always on and off get in a relation for 3 months or so and then break up with me for no good reason! and then come back to me again.. i was virgin until i slept with him almost one year ago and after one month he dumped me and get in a relation with another girl and i think he's into her.. he left her one month ago and start calling me again and tell me how much he's sorry and how a bad guy he was . as me im still in love with him like a fool i get back to him but im sure he doesnt love me because im too weak when im with him what can i do?? i cant move on this guy i know everything about him and i love him so much.. and i guess i need help!

Hi I need help with a question: When I first met this guy online, I thought he was a great guy. We went out on a few dates and I had sex with him a couple of months ago. He tells me that he is looking for a relationship and he wants to be with me. But I getting this gut feeling that its just sex. When I bring it up about it, he tells me that I am causing drama. He only texts me and when he do text me its about sex. Like he wants to do threesomes and I told him hell no. He wants me to send naked pics and he sent me a naked picture. He doesn't want to talk about his past life at all. He still goes online to meet different women, but he says he wants to be serious with me. I just feel like I should cut my losses now before I start to develop something with him. Because in the past I was in a Friends with Benefits type relationship for 6 months, I cut him off because he didn't want to be in a real relationship with me. But that guy was honest with me that he wasn't in to me, while this guy I am dating now is telling me he is serious and wants to be in a relationship even though I don't feel like he is. So what should I do?

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