Just sex-two words that undeniably grab attention, and often lead to a flurry of raised eyebrows and whispered conversations. If you've ever found yourself in a whirlwind affair, caught between sheets and conversations that stop at "good morning," then this article is tailor-made for you. Not to burst your bubble (or maybe do exactly that), but just sex is a reality for many in 2024, particularly in our fast-paced, swipe-right culture where Netflix and chill can sometimes become Netflix and... you get the idea.
Picture this: you’re with someone exclusively for their fantastic physical connection. You’re not emotionally invested; you don’t celebrate month-iversaries, and the idea of a future together is as fuzzy as a Sunday morning hangover. Ah, been there, done that. Personally speaking, during my ill-fated college romance, it took multiple alarm bells and a friend's relentless wisecracks to see that our emotional bond was shallower than a kiddie pool.
But hey, I'm not alone, right? Many folks are navigating these choppy waters, unsure if they’re more like friends with benefits or just conveniently bypassing the friend part altogether. The good news? This guide is your life raft, your beacon of clarity. By the end of this gem, you'll nail the subtle and not-so-subtle signs they don't introduce you to their friends and that classic moment when your chat history brims only with late-night texts. Been a victim of the mysterious ‘Hey stranger’ text at 2 AM? Yes, we’ll decode that too.
Let’s keep it real. The emotional investment from someone who's only in it for the nookie usually equals zilch. You’ll notice scant post-coital cuddles, and the romantic gestures are often as rare as teeth on a hen. Frankly, stuff like getting your first name wrong (ouch, true story) and never discussing any future plans falls right into our hilarious yet brutally honest signs it’s merely a fling.
So why is 2024 any different? Well, with the rise of casual dating apps, navigating the maze of commitment-free entanglements has never been more confusing. Technology's great but often complicates what was already a convoluted pursuit.
In this article, you'll also get plenty of laughs along the way (promise), and considering issues like avoiding public places becomes all too relatable.
Alright, enough teasing. Fasten your seatbelts and arm yourself with some solid insights, as we delve into 21 spot-on signs that confirm you're in it for the fun and not the forever.
1. Every Time You See Each Other It’s Only to Have Sex
So many women and men are having this type of relationship thinking that it’s more and it’s not. It’s Just Sex.
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This type of relationship is not uncommon, but it is important to remember that it is not a healthy or sustainable one. It is possible to develop feelings for someone you have sex with, but it is unlikely to lead to a lasting relationship. People in this type of relationship should be aware that it is not likely to evolve into a more meaningful one. Additionally, it is important to practice safe sex and to be aware of the potential risks of having sex without a committed relationship.
2. Only Comes over at Night
They call you around 10 pm or later asking if you can come over or if they can come over around midnight. A lot of people think “oh they are just really busy” no they are calling for a booty call. It’s Just Sex.
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This behavior is an unmistakable signal that their interest in you isn't about emotional connection, but rather a physical one. If it's always after-hours and never during daylight – think about it, are brunch dates or afternoon walks in the park ever on the agenda? Likely not. It's a relationship that's operating on their time, suiting their needs, and it's all about the convenience of it. That's not partnership; that's a call of desire. In your gut, you know there's no depth to these encounters.
3. Doesn’t Want to Go out Anywhere
Yes staying at home is nice sometimes but there is a whole world outside of the bedroom. It’s Just Sex
4. Never Talks about Family and Friends
Think, do you even know if their parents are alive, do they have siblings. If you don’t know it might just be sex.
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In a real relationship, sharing details about one's inner circle is a given. It's a way to let someone in, to make them feel included in your life. If you're in the dark about even the most basic details of their personal life, it's a pretty telling sign. Conversations that evade anything deeper than surface-level topics can indicate a lack of emotional investment, which is a red flag if you're looking for something more meaningful than casual encounters.
If you're looking to engage your partner in intriguing conversations, why not try some hypothetical questions for couples? These fun queries will not only keep the conversation lively but also stimulate deep thoughts and potentially reveal insights about each other's personality and thought processes.
5. Doesn’t Want to Hear about Your Family and Friends
Are you bummed out about your family and want to talk about it and they don’t want to hear about it. It could be just sex
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6. Phone Conversations or Text Messages Are Only in a Sexual Nature
Do you only swap sexy texts or photos? Some relationships are like this but others are Just Sex.
7. You Only Meet at Places Where Sex Can Occur
Only going to their house/apartment or vice verse might just be sex.
8. No Sleepovers
They come over at midnight have sex and then around 2 am they want to go home or send you home. Oh yeah it’s just sex.
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This behavior points to a clear-cut arrangement where emotional ties aren't on the table. If you find that pillow talk is non-existent and the bed is quickly cooled after the deed is done, it's a strong indication that you're in a hookup scenario rather than a blossoming relationship. It's all about physical satisfaction—once that's achieved, the connection seems to fizzle out, literally by night's end. If you're longing for a cuddly morning-after, you may need to adjust your expectations with this setup.
9. You Don’t Eat Together
Ever hear that old saying “a couple that eats together stays together”.
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This adage underscores the intimacy of sharing meals, a basic human connection bonding us through the ritual of eating. When your encounters are solely bedroom-based, skipping the dinner table talks, you miss out on this fundamental form of closeness. It's not just about the food—it's the conversations, the laughs, and those tender moments that weave the fabric of a relationship. If all you savor together is the physical, it might be a sign that you're in a casual fling rather than a nourishing partnership.
10. They Take a Shower Right after Sex and Send You on Your Way
Normally you want to rest a bit and maybe talk. When they all of a sudden they want you to leave it’s probably just sex.
11. Never Talk about Life outside the Bedroom
There are so many other things going on that you could talk about.
12. You Only Have a Cell Phone or Beeper Number
It could be Just Sex
13. When You Talk It’s Only to Setup a Sex Time
Ever call then and setup a time to meet and you end up having sex. It’s Just Sex.
14. They Avoid You in Public
You see them and you know they saw you and they turn away. It’s Just Sex.
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When someone is willing to share intimate moments with you but avoids acknowledging you in social settings, it's a glaring signal that they're separating those aspects of their interaction with you. It may sting a bit to realize this, but clarity is key in these situations. If you find that they're consistently slipping away in crowds or giving you the cold shoulder when friends are around, it's likely that they want to keep things casual and aren't interested in integrating you into their broader life or circle. This detachment is symptomatic of a connection that lacks depth beyond the physical.
15. Only Spends a Couple of Hours with You
Only spend enough time with you to have sex. Then It’s Just Sex.
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If your partner consistently makes excuses to leave right after intimacy or shows an evident lack of interest in spending quality time before or after the encounter, it's a stark sign. They prioritize their convenience, ensuring minimal investment beyond the physical connection. This behavioral pattern suggests they might not be emotionally invested in the relationship, but rather in satisfying their carnal desires. It's crucial to recognize when you're being relegated to an afterthought rather than being cherished as a valued companion.
16. There is No Quality Time
No matter how busy he says he is, if was serious about the two of you he’d make an effort to spend time with you outside the bedroom.
17. He Keeps His Distance
He makes sure the two of you never get too close emotionally by keeping things from you. If you tell him you like it when he does a certain something, he’ll stop because he wants to keep things casual emotionally.
18. He Tells You so
Has he ever straight-up told you that he’s not interested in anything serious and just wants to play the field? He wouldn’t be saying these things if it weren’t true!
19. You Initiate All Communication
If it’s not about sex, all communication is likely to come from you. Are you the only one suggesting dates? Are you the only one who tries to start a real conversation when the two of you are together?
20. He Doesn’t Care if He Hurts Your Feelings
If you get visibly upset about the lack of communication or closeness between you two and doesn’t care, he probably doesn’t care about you, either.
21. He Cheats
Or should I say he has multiple sex partners that he’s not very private about. If the guy is openly having sex with multiple partners, it is definitely not a relationship.
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Most complicated situation and I need insight. I met a guy this summer because we were both working in DC. We really hit it off, things started to get serious, and before I knew it, he was my boyfriend. Told me he loved me. No problems, not even so much as an argument; spent most of the time together outside of work, etc. I leave to go back home before school; we said we were gonna make it work long distance. Before I know it, he's calling me to tell me that his feelings "aren't as strong as they need to be" but that he "still views me as one of his best friends and really cares for me." Honestly, I guess I felt relieved, because I had been miserable without him around and it was impacting my mood. We kept the plans that we made to visit each other throughout the semester. So 3 days after we break up, I'm there. I meet his family, parents and grandparents. We had sex. We took the dog for walks. We spent a lot of time outdoors because it was so nice. When I left, things felt the way they should be. We talked a lot, either on the phone or via gchat, kept each other update on funny happenstances and talking about problems. He comes to visit 3 weeks later. Again sex, again spending time outdoors, he met my friends. Again, another amazing weekend. Same pattern leads up to a third weekend 2 weeks later. Same premise. And to emphasize this even more, his grandfather (whom is probably the person closest to him) and I had a very in depth conversation regarding him. He said that he is convinced that there is more than what his grandson is showing me (basically, he thinks he has very strong feelings for me). In the end, another amazing weekend (even took me stargazing). So now, we're about 2 weeks after the fact. He's coming to visit next weekend, but doesn't sound like he's looking forward to it; he's treating like its just another thing to do. But the fact that he's coming at all, must mean something....maybe? I'm clueless at this point. Insight please!
hi i have a question there is this guy i recently met like 4 days agowe met n the weridest way we r both 19 btw he was helping my family mive he works for the moving company we hired well we talk all the time he call me. while hes working n we will talk from 11 to 9ish thats when he comes over n we'll either drive around or hang out in front of my house but i know this sounds bad yesterday night we had sex t was a heat of the moment type thing we kinda both came onto eachother he called me today we have been talkig on the pone as usual but im tryig to think of what type of relationship he wants ya know? he calls me babe n when we joke around i say im not ir friend he say what are we then?
thanks for the advice everyone...I will try to be strong (^_^)
I recently started seeing this guy who was very sweet and even went to the gym/yoga classes with me. But we had sex about 2 weeks ago and since then he hasn't asked me out or even showed up to the gym. I don't know if I should ask him to see if it was just a one time deal or if he's just busy? He still texts me at least every other day and I'm doing my best to give him space but I don't know if this is the right thing for me to do. I've only ever been with two guys, including him.
Hi, need bit of advice, i was in a serious relationship 4years, got a daughter, am pregnant by him, been split up for 6months we were still sleeping together he said he wasnt sleeping with anyone, then admit he is, then deny it, he says he wants to get back with me but i want to take it very slow i stoppd sleeping with him as
Idk about my situation. I met this guy a while ago. I've only been to his apt 3 times. First time we talked a while then had sex then chilled for a few more hours. 2nd time I spent the night at his place. Got really drunk n we had more sex. But I mean we cuddled and slept together. It's like he wanted me there. Then he came to my house i made him some food n I gave him a bj only. He didn't want to have sex because he didn't want to do it in my parents house. Now yesterday I went to his place again and I was looking forward to sex. But we went to chicfila first. He wanted me to eat with him. I said no. We watched tv for a while, then had sex only once.... Usually we go two rounds. I was clearly upset. Then he played cod but he was still talking to me. But then he wanted to sleep. I didn't want him to. He got made a little. Then I left him alone till it was time to go. I mean I really like him. But we haven't been anywhere together. That's because I am 17 and he's 25. And he lost his job. I forgot to mention he ask me for either $5 or $10 if he comes to pick me up. Is that bad? He wants to wait till I turn 18 before telling me exactly what we are. We've already had a problem with my mom. But is it just sex? I want to be his wifey type. Everytime I'm in his apt I feel like we should be living together... Is it just sex? Sorry it's so long.
Comments
Michelle:Most complicated situation and I need insight. I met a guy this summer because we were both working in DC. We really hit it off, things started to get serious, and before I knew it, he was my boyfriend. Told me he loved me. No problems, not even so much as an argument; spent most of the time together outside of work, etc. I leave to go back home before school; we said we were gonna make it work long distance. Before I know it, he's calling me to tell me that his feelings "aren't as strong as they need to be" but that he "still views me as one of his best friends and really cares for me." Honestly, I guess I felt relieved, because I had been miserable without him around and it was impacting my mood. We kept the plans that we made to visit each other throughout the semester. So 3 days after we break up, I'm there. I meet his family, parents and grandparents. We had sex. We took the dog for walks. We spent a lot of time outdoors because it was so nice. When I left, things felt the way they should be. We talked a lot, either on the phone or via gchat, kept each other update on funny happenstances and talking about problems. He comes to visit 3 weeks later. Again sex, again spending time outdoors, he met my friends. Again, another amazing weekend. Same pattern leads up to a third weekend 2 weeks later. Same premise. And to emphasize this even more, his grandfather (whom is probably the person closest to him) and I had a very in depth conversation regarding him. He said that he is convinced that there is more than what his grandson is showing me (basically, he thinks he has very strong feelings for me). In the end, another amazing weekend (even took me stargazing). So now, we're about 2 weeks after the fact. He's coming to visit next weekend, but doesn't sound like he's looking forward to it; he's treating like its just another thing to do. But the fact that he's coming at all, must mean something....maybe? I'm clueless at this point. Insight please!
Anonymous:hi i have a question there is this guy i recently met like 4 days agowe met n the weridest way we r both 19 btw he was helping my family mive he works for the moving company we hired well we talk all the time he call me. while hes working n we will talk from 11 to 9ish thats when he comes over n we'll either drive around or hang out in front of my house but i know this sounds bad yesterday night we had sex t was a heat of the moment type thing we kinda both came onto eachother he called me today we have been talkig on the pone as usual but im tryig to think of what type of relationship he wants ya know? he calls me babe n when we joke around i say im not ir friend he say what are we then?
Mo:thanks for the advice everyone...I will try to be strong (^_^)
Asura:I recently started seeing this guy who was very sweet and even went to the gym/yoga classes with me. But we had sex about 2 weeks ago and since then he hasn't asked me out or even showed up to the gym. I don't know if I should ask him to see if it was just a one time deal or if he's just busy? He still texts me at least every other day and I'm doing my best to give him space but I don't know if this is the right thing for me to do. I've only ever been with two guys, including him.
Pepsitwist:Hi, need bit of advice, i was in a serious relationship 4years, got a daughter, am pregnant by him, been split up for 6months we were still sleeping together he said he wasnt sleeping with anyone, then admit he is, then deny it, he says he wants to get back with me but i want to take it very slow i stoppd sleeping with him as
Dree:Idk about my situation. I met this guy a while ago. I've only been to his apt 3 times. First time we talked a while then had sex then chilled for a few more hours. 2nd time I spent the night at his place. Got really drunk n we had more sex. But I mean we cuddled and slept together. It's like he wanted me there. Then he came to my house i made him some food n I gave him a bj only. He didn't want to have sex because he didn't want to do it in my parents house. Now yesterday I went to his place again and I was looking forward to sex. But we went to chicfila first. He wanted me to eat with him. I said no. We watched tv for a while, then had sex only once.... Usually we go two rounds. I was clearly upset. Then he played cod but he was still talking to me. But then he wanted to sleep. I didn't want him to. He got made a little. Then I left him alone till it was time to go. I mean I really like him. But we haven't been anywhere together. That's because I am 17 and he's 25. And he lost his job. I forgot to mention he ask me for either $5 or $10 if he comes to pick me up. Is that bad? He wants to wait till I turn 18 before telling me exactly what we are. We've already had a problem with my mom. But is it just sex? I want to be his wifey type. Everytime I'm in his apt I feel like we should be living together... Is it just sex? Sorry it's so long.
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So many women and men are having this type of relationship thinking that it’s more and it’s not. It’s Just Sex.
They call you around 10 pm or later asking if you can come over or if they can come over around midnight. A lot of people think “oh they are just really busy” no they are calling for a booty call. It’s Just Sex.
Yes staying at home is nice sometimes but there is a whole world outside of the bedroom. It’s Just Sex
Think, do you even know if their parents are alive, do they have siblings. If you don’t know it might just be sex.
Are you bummed out about your family and want to talk about it and they don’t want to hear about it. It could be just sex
Do you only swap sexy texts or photos? Some relationships are like this but others are Just Sex.
Only going to their house/apartment or vice verse might just be sex.
They come over at midnight have sex and then around 2 am they want to go home or send you home. Oh yeah it’s just sex.
Ever hear that old saying “a couple that eats together stays together”.
Normally you want to rest a bit and maybe talk. When they all of a sudden they want you to leave it’s probably just sex.
There are so many other things going on that you could talk about.
It could be Just Sex
Ever call then and setup a time to meet and you end up having sex. It’s Just Sex.
You see them and you know they saw you and they turn away. It’s Just Sex.
Only spend enough time with you to have sex. Then It’s Just Sex.
No matter how busy he says he is, if was serious about the two of you he’d make an effort to spend time with you outside the bedroom.
He makes sure the two of you never get too close emotionally by keeping things from you. If you tell him you like it when he does a certain something, he’ll stop because he wants to keep things casual emotionally.
Has he ever straight-up told you that he’s not interested in anything serious and just wants to play the field? He wouldn’t be saying these things if it weren’t true!
If it’s not about sex, all communication is likely to come from you. Are you the only one suggesting dates? Are you the only one who tries to start a real conversation when the two of you are together?
If you get visibly upset about the lack of communication or closeness between you two and doesn’t care, he probably doesn’t care about you, either.
Or should I say he has multiple sex partners that he’s not very private about. If the guy is openly having sex with multiple partners, it is definitely not a relationship.
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