21 Signs It's Just Sex and Not a Relationship ...

I hear so many of my friends talking about how they met a guy and had wonderful sex and then the guy only calls or comes by when he wants sex. OK honey what you need to know is that what you had with him was a physical attraction that magnified feelings of a deeper nature. Now let me make myself clear he is not a bad guy, for the most part, he was simply thinking “it’s just sex what’s the harm in that”. So here are some super signs to look for to see if it is just sex:

1 Every Time You See Each Other It’s Only to Have Sex

hair,person,facial hair,action film,screenshot, So many women and men are having this type of relationship thinking that it’s more and it’s not. It’s Just Sex.

2 Only Comes over at Night

had,adult,sleepover., They call you around 10 pm or later asking if you can come over or if they can come over around midnight. A lot of people think “oh they are just really busy” no they are calling for a booty call. It’s Just Sex.

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3 Doesn’t Want to Go out Anywhere

face,human action,hair,nose,cheek, Yes staying at home is nice sometimes but there is a whole world outside of the bedroom. It’s Just Sex

4 Never Talks about Family and Friends

Talk,me,,talk,talk,me,, Think, do you even know if their parents are alive, do they have siblings. If you don’t know it might just be sex.

5 Doesn’t Want to Hear about Your Family and Friends

black and white,photography,monochrome photography,film noir,darkness, Are you bummed out about your family and want to talk about it and they don’t want to hear about it. It could be just sex

6 Phone Conversations or Text Messages Are Only in a Sexual Nature

you,want,see,picture,sweaty, Do you only swap sexy texts or photos? Some relationships are like this but others are Just Sex.

7 You Only Meet at Places Where Sex Can Occur

furniture,bed,bed sheet,Hey,guys!, Only going to their house/apartment or vice verse might just be sex.

8 No Sleepovers

person,man,male,muscle,mouth, They come over at midnight have sex and then around 2 am they want to go home or send you home. Oh yeah it’s just sex.

9 You Don’t Eat Together

hair,black hair,face,person,eyebrow, Ever hear that old saying “a couple that eats together stays together”.

10 They Take a Shower Right after Sex and Send You on Your Way

face,mouth,sense, Normally you want to rest a bit and maybe talk. When they all of a sudden they want you to leave it’s probably just sex.

11 Never Talk about Life outside the Bedroom

person,speech,speaker, There are so many other things going on that you could talk about.

12 You Only Have a Cell Phone or Beeper Number

face,person,nose,man,male, It could be Just Sex

13 When You Talk It’s Only to Setup a Sex Time

screenshot,action film,midnight,special effects,fictional character, Ever call then and setup a time to meet and you end up having sex. It’s Just Sex.

14 They Avoid You in Public

anime,the,weekend,don,know, You see them and you know they saw you and they turn away. It’s Just Sex.

15 Only Spends a Couple of Hours with You

person,screenshot,facial hair,Global, Only spend enough time with you to have sex. Then It’s Just Sex.

16 There is No Quality Time

hair,person,hairstyle,long hair, No matter how busy he says he is, if was serious about the two of you he’d make an effort to spend time with you outside the bedroom.

17 He Keeps His Distance

person,screenshot,Wait.,What?, He makes sure the two of you never get too close emotionally by keeping things from you. If you tell him you like it when he does a certain something, he’ll stop because he wants to keep things casual emotionally.

18 He Tells You so

image,Damn,it,,just,really, Has he ever straight-up told you that he’s not interested in anything serious and just wants to play the field? He wouldn’t be saying these things if it weren’t true!

19 You Initiate All Communication

meal,Why,won't,you,talk, If it’s not about sex, all communication is likely to come from you. Are you the only one suggesting dates? Are you the only one who tries to start a real conversation when the two of you are together?

20 He Doesn’t Care if He Hurts Your Feelings

person,human positions,sitting,professional,DON'T, If you get visibly upset about the lack of communication or closeness between you two and doesn’t care, he probably doesn’t care about you, either.

21 He Cheats

face,person,beauty,hairstyle,brown hair, Or should I say he has multiple sex partners that he’s not very private about. If the guy is openly having sex with multiple partners, it is definitely not a relationship.

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Comments

Sky This is totally my story, only I'm seeing another woman... not a man. Ugh. She was clear from the start about wanting to be "non exclusive", and once in a while we may go out for a drink or dinner, but it all leads to just sex, no overnights.. I'm over it
Leila So my guy shows quite a few of these but tells me he loves me but we aren't exactly boyfriend and girlfriend yet
Arlz Bought me dinner, exchanging gifts, had a bad couple of days and dropped things to come pick me up so I didn't need to be alone..... what is going on man!
Arlz That I had a pregnancy scare, seemed happy etc
andeemelon Im so confuse about this :( what if u fell inlove what you should you do?
TinkerbellMoi @jayne, Girl I am kinda like you, I am also not comfortable in giving my virginity to someone that I am not dating officially yet.. I understand you and I've been though many experiences that I think what you should do if you are still keeping in touch with him, If I were you I would be honest and ask him directly about if he wants a serious relationship in the future and say to him how you really feel for him. And if he saids what you were hoping to hear, then great! But if he saids to you that he needs time to think about or not ready for a relationship, just move on and someone else who is worth your time.
TORNADO HELLO
thaliamary nice one
D_perez423 Even if he is the father of my child?
BC I am 51 years old and though I was married 15 years to an emotionally and verbally abusive husband, I've never experienced anyone falling in love or loving me. It's always been about sex or friendship with sex. (though with my exhusband, it was neither.) I am attractive, smart, talented, outgoing. I've just had terrible luck or maybe I put out some vibe that I am not available. I seem to always attract guys unavailable on some level. I am not even sure I have ever been in love other than feelings I have had after sleeping with a guy several times if I know him. And the rare times when I feel, I just get my heart kicked in. Guys will tell me I am sexy,, smart, independent. I know I'll survive if I have to spend the rest of my life alone. I have two daughters, lots of friends. But, it really hurts to think I am not good enough for anyone to have loved.
- Tejas @BC, hi
Audrey Hi, I need some advice... I dated my ex boyfriend 2 years ago and recently we became very close and started a friends with benefits sort of relationship, after he broke up with a girl who he was in a very toxic relationship with. He said that he isn't ready for a relationship right now, but he has been treating me somewhat like a girlfriend. He comes over to hang out and not to just have sex and we've gone out to lunch this past week. We also talk forever about our families and the future and he says he wants to see my mom again. He also drove me and my sister to the airport at 6am a few days ago, and in front of my sister held my hand and said he was going to really miss me over break. I feel like we've gotten so close, but he's still at that point where he's partially trying to deny any relationship-like feelings or situations. I told him that this situation we're in is going to have to end eventually because I'm going to eventually want more. I'm going to see him again in a few weeks when college starts back up again, and I want to convince him to actually try dating me, rather than this weird thing we're doing now. I am thinking i should just tell him that I'm going to date someone else if he wants to continue this casual-ness, but I don't know if that's the right way to go about it. Maybe I should just ask him out. Please help!
Michelle Hi Anonymous. Sounds like this guy obviously doesn't care about you. Someone who doesn't want to talk about his past life is kind of shady to me. He says he wants to be serious with you. If he wanted to be serious with you, he wouldn't be meeting different women online and he would tell you about himself, family, friends and life. I would say re-evaluate your situation and get rid of this guy. You'll find someone that will respect you and treat you how you should be treated. I'm re-evaluating my relationship that I'm in right now. I've been with this guy for a year. He started out sweet, attentative, and told me that if I had any problems,I could talk to him. His attitude has changed, and everytime I bring up a problem I need help with, he snaps and doesn't want to hear it and that he has enough of his own. He's still sweet and attentative as long as I don't bring up a problem I have and I keep my mouth shut. I going to re-evaluate this situation and maybe cut him loose. Good luck and I hope you find the right guy.
Michelle Hi. I've been in a relationship with this guy I work with for a year. When we first started dating, he was very nice, very attentitive, and always listened to my problems without yelling at me. It seems like when we have a disagreement, he snaps at me at the drop of the hat and doesn't want to talk about it or yells at me when I have a problem. His attitude has changed a little, but other than that, he still nice to me and affectionate to me as long as I don't address any problems that I have.
jayne okay, so I'm totally naive and I need help. I've never dated before and when I got to college this september there was this super hot guy that I would've been too shy to talk to otherwise, but he talked to me first, calling me pretty and following it up with an hour long conversation about everything. We started as friends, and after I helped him through his breakup with his girlfriend of a year and a half, we became really good friends, and now we have a thing. I've been over at his house every evening for three weeks, either to study or to hang out. We've never had sex (although he asked once), because I've never dealt with this before and don't feel comfortable giving my virginity to someone that I'm not officially dating. We've gone as far as fingering a few times though. He's taken me to eat at restaurants and has paid for my meal once or twice. He has a few girls on booty call that he'd mentioned a while back, but he hasn't seen them since he's started hanging out with me more frequently and has pretty much stopped talking to them altogether. I know for a fact that he isn't completely over his ex, therefore I think it would be disrespectful to try to push him into a relationship. But I know there's something between us and it bothers me not knowing what it is. We've never kissed (although we've come very close a few times), except for recently while fingering me he's started to kiss me on the neck, and I notice him looking at me for longer and more fondly. We hang out with his friends a lot and he's always stuck next to me regardless of whether they're with us. He always is the one to initiate hanging out (save one or two times), and mostly is the one to text me first. The only thing that he has done in this list is always driving me home, even when it's five a.m, or even that time when we did fall asleep, he woke up, woke me up, and drove me home. I remember him saying a while back before we were a thing that he doesn't feel comfortable having another girl sleeping with him since his breakup. I don't want things to go too fast relationship-wise since this is all new to me, but I am pretty confused and can't quite figure out what he wants from me. Can someone help me?!
Vidia um i'm year 5 so umm...............................yeah why am i reading this awkward!
Suzi @serena. you know the answer
Suzi @ JRo Ro. if you want things to continue as they are then keep doing what your doing. if you want a ring on it then stop giving him everything while u don't get what you want
Suzi @just a thing.... walk away
Suzi @dawn. move on
Aiajin the signs are so clear .
Claudia My ex used to b like this.....
Cheri people
Octavia Wowsers....
Cuteeling :sticker_no_way:
Інна :sticker_dont_worry:
rathany hi everyone i have a question, open to any answers.. i dated this guy back in middle school from what i thought we were madly in love with eachother. 4 years go by i gained a bit of weight and we found eachother on facebook we always tells me to go over his house, at first i would refuse then i went one time and we had sex and it felt like we really connected after that i kept texting him and he always says " he is busy " and everytime i asked him how he feels about me now, he always avoids it or says he is confused? am i just just his bootycall or might he just really be confused about us or maybe my weight gain is affecting him? i did gain a bit of weight.. its hard i dont know what to think anymore please any advice?
Michelle Hi guys, So I'm really confused. I met this older guy when he got hired at the job where I'm working and we hit it off. We didn't talk much other than when we worked together, but then we exchanged numbers and texted for hours every day for about 3 weeks. I came on to him and he willingly obliged, since then we've slept together 4 times. He talks to me every day and we rarely talk about sex. We talk about our friends and family and we make each other laugh. When we do hook up, we talk for hours beforehand, have sex, and then talk for an hour or two afterwards. Every time we have sex it's different, this last time was the first time he held me after sex. He always stares into my eyes while we have sex, and he kisses my forehead, cheek, hairline, neck. He's mentioned once or twice that he isn't looking for a serious relationship because he recently got out of an abusive long term relationship. What does this mean?? Am I really just a hook up or could he have feelings for me?
- Denise Hey Michelle. Even if he has feelings for you, it's clear that he's not ready to commit. I'm sorry....
JRo Im seen my ex again we have been sleeping with each other for 10 years on and off. 6 year ago he got someone pregnant and has a child we lost contact for 6years. Somehow we started talking to each-other. Now we've been having sex for 2 year only sex i don't know what to do help!!
- Denise Hi JRo. If you want to get back with him, then tell him. Nothing will happen if you don't speak up.
Serena Hi i met this guy like two weeks ago and the first time we just kissed, the 2nd time we got laid and the 3rd time but were constantly texting and calling each other. I'm 26 and so is he, he's living in with his girlfriend and the very first time something happened to us I still have a boyfriend but the 2nd time something happened to us I already broke up with my boyfriend due to inreconcileable differences.Also 2nd time we did it at his and his gfs bed. He kept on telling me that he likes and loves me already and wants to be with me all the time. I told him that i don't believe him because i'm pretty sure that I'm a hoe to him because I let him bang me even the time that i'm still with someone else but he will always tell me that he doesn't look at me that way. What should I do?Is he in just for sex?Or he is true to his words when he said he likes me?
Dree Idk about my situation. I met this guy a while ago. I've only been to his apt 3 times. First time we talked a while then had sex then chilled for a few more hours. 2nd time I spent the night at his place. Got really drunk n we had more sex. But I mean we cuddled and slept together. It's like he wanted me there. Then he came to my house i made him some food n I gave him a bj only. He didn't want to have sex because he didn't want to do it in my parents house. Now yesterday I went to his place again and I was looking forward to sex. But we went to chicfila first. He wanted me to eat with him. I said no. We watched tv for a while, then had sex only once.... Usually we go two rounds. I was clearly upset. Then he played cod but he was still talking to me. But then he wanted to sleep. I didn't want him to. He got made a little. Then I left him alone till it was time to go. I mean I really like him. But we haven't been anywhere together. That's because I am 17 and he's 25. And he lost his job. I forgot to mention he ask me for either $5 or $10 if he comes to pick me up. Is that bad? He wants to wait till I turn 18 before telling me exactly what we are. We've already had a problem with my mom. But is it just sex? I want to be his wifey type. Everytime I'm in his apt I feel like we should be living together... Is it just sex? Sorry it's so long.
- Denise Hi Dree. He's 25 years old but he's asking you for money. That isn't necessarily bad, but it's not ideal. Is he even trying to look for a job?
Janette There was this guy that was my friend with benefits turns out he had a gf but I was already emotionally attached after I knew so I kept it going he would text me all the time and call me even but he would never leave her then finally I got sick of waiting and called it quits but until this day he throws hints and says there are things in life you can't forget! I catch him stare at me a few times but he still with that girl after 5 years can someone just tell me what he actually wanted with me I thought it was sex but he throws all theses hints and when I left he begged me not to!? Idk I was hella confused
Moon I broke up with this guy a few mths ago cos I found out he cheated on me. Only after I broke up with him, I been wondering all he wanted was just sex. A few weeks in a relationship, we spent weekends in his bedroom. Even if we hang out after work and went to other places, he never kissed me although he tried to touch my bottom in public or everytime we meet. The thing he said after we made love is "Why r u so good?" without cuddling. I didn't get wht he meant at that moment. He took me to expensive restaurants and gave me flowers. .Every little thing he said was a lie which I found out only after breakup. Before that I thought he never said lie to me. I believed him so much. I never really knew what kind of guy he is. He never talked about his work, study, family and friends. He never open up about his feelings. He was always cold to me. He seldom called me. He only sms me every day. Although he came to my house to have dinner and meet my family, he was never affectionate to me. I know he cheated on me and took me for fun. I didnt realise his intention from the start. That s why I came in a relationship with him. But can anyone tell me if it was just sex he wanted from me although it s impossible to read somebody's mind? Thanks
- Moon I know I have to move on but this is still so hard for me. I can't help thinking about how naive I was all along everytime I fell on his trick. There's always a lesson to learn in this life. Thanks Sheila
- Moon @Sheila Joseph, Hello Sheila, Thanks very much for ur comments.
- Sheila Hey Moon, Like you said it is impossible to read someone's mind and frankly, I don't see why you should bother analyzing the relationship. Whatever it was, obviously he didn't care for you enough and that's why he cheated on you. You should just say good riddance and move on! Thanks for stopping by and hang in there hun.
just this guy i have been seeing for a while now , is away on a trip for two weeks , the first few days that he was gone we would talk on a regular , now its four days untill he comes home and we talk almost never , on the website that i met him , i see he is on half the time ( because u can see it ) so im just wondering if he is still interested in me , or what ? im just a lil curious coz i like him ( i know its not a relationship) lol but i guess i need some help
- Just JUST ME , well now he is back and we hardly talk , i tell him i wanna see him but he just says he has to ' figure things out" , im the first one sometimes to txt him or call him, so i decided to delete his number , because i know having his number will just make me want to text him , i dont know what to think or do :(
- Denise Hello. It's great to hear from you! Have you tried messaging him first? You could try talking to him about this when he gets back. If you are going out exclusively (not sure since you didn't say), why is he still going on that dating website?
Asura I recently started seeing this guy who was very sweet and even went to the gym/yoga classes with me. But we had sex about 2 weeks ago and since then he hasn't asked me out or even showed up to the gym. I don't know if I should ask him to see if it was just a one time deal or if he's just busy? He still texts me at least every other day and I'm doing my best to give him space but I don't know if this is the right thing for me to do. I've only ever been with two guys, including him.
- Sheila Hi Asura, Welcome to AWS! I think you need to put this to rest once and for all. Just ask him if he wants to hang out. If he's interested he's going to say yes. If not and if it was a one time thing, he's going to say no. Simple. If he does say yes though, try and keep sex out of the equation and get to know him better. Good luck and thanks for reading!
- Asura I just don't understand, if he didn't like me then why is he still texting me? He came by my job too the other day, probably because he needed to, but he came when I was there and we talked for about 10 mins then he left to go out clubbing with his friends (who are girls).
michol I met this guy on a dating sit, and every time we have hung out, it has been intimate encounters. He invites me to his place, but I told him in a text message that i want to cut ties with him, because I feel he was just using for convience. He said "its cool, I had fun, I hope things work out for you. I feel devasted
Anonymous A girl told me that she was my best friend and that she loved me but she just wasn't ready for a relationship. Yet after she gave me hug the night before and I felt really loved
- Rhivenn @Anonymous, What Is your question? How can we help? If this girl doesn't want a relationship, there isn't anything you can do. She likes you as a friend and you need to respect that,
- Anonymous Please help
Anonymouse Hi there I'm a young lady whose been married for couple of years now. I just relocated in to another city and I met this guy at work... The first day I saw he was playing around making sure that I noticed him and I knew that he probably does that with every woman that he sees. So we became so close and the first time we hung out together we've had sex and his been calling me since then and his still showing interest in me but the thing is I'm married and he isn't and my gut feeling is telling me that his a womanizer but his still treating me well so well I must say... His has his pride though but his telling me every time that because I managed 2 cheat with him he's jealous that I can do it with someone else. And we only slept 2gether 3days ago and yes his still calling me ever since infact he called even when I was at home with my hubby and now he wants 2 spend some days with me next wk what does he want from me, pls help...
- Sheila Hey, Welcome to AWS! Well, I'm not sure how to help you in this situation. It comes down to what you want. If you're not happy with your husband and want to be with this guy instead, you have to find a way to end your marriage. If you want to forget what happened and move on, be stern with him, tell him whatever happened happened but it wont go any further. The last option would be to continue cheating on your husband but you can't have your cake and eat it too forever. At some point it will get messy. Looks like you have a lot of thinking to do!
valerie I don't know what to think, I have been seperated for 18 months but Ex played a huge part in my life up untill December when I stopped him coming here and messin with my brain. So since February I have been chatting to a guy online, he lives a car ride away and I only got myself a new car 5 weeks or so ago, his internet was cut off so he came online via a friend and gave me his number "if I wanted to text him" so we texted each other a few times then his net went back on, and we spoke on line, just flirty banter, then when busy Icouldn't bother contacting him, then he did, so it was abit random tbh. Over the last few weeks he started talking a bit more and more, I can tell by talking to him he quite a deep character, and possibly very laid back, we were texting/emailing last week then came Friday we knew we wanted to meet, we knew it had to be a 2nd weekend thing due to childcare and he works strange hours during the week, anyway I ended up meeting him, we got on well, really well, he wasn't ALL I have built in my mind to be but I like him, so fast forward 6 hours and we had sex, 4 times infact. He made no rush for me to leave saying I could stay until I was needed back home, I stayed until around 1pm the next day, he made me breakfast, saw me to the car and we said our goodbyes. He has texted every day since, some late into his work shifts, some when he finishes but I don't where this is going? If anywhere...I guess I am wondering whether just to wait and see what happens or flood him with all my (what is this all about) thoughts ? thanks
- valerie @Sheila, Things seem to be turning very confusing I popped onto the dating site and on he came, he was quite funny because he then left then came on again and just started chatting, then my phone pings! Its a guy I gave my number to months ago, we lost touch, /I explained I wait on people texting me if they are interested they will...he does the same ha! I was truthful and said I really enjoyed the date I had last week but had no idea where/if it was going anywhere, he now wants me to find out so I can date him and has said "no it is not about the sex" He has been busy and its a long story (not involving women), now I am more confused than ever I'm not sure I like dating multiple people. Other guy still texting/emailing daily!! I like him but do have my suspicions, we had chatted I knew I was going to end up in bed if we liked each and we did. It felt so nice to wake up to cuddles and kises on the forehead and just him I guess!
- valerie @Sheila, Oh good, thanks I missed a text last night, I forgot my phone turns itself off as he finishes work, but being cool is good I think, we have again exchanged texts today so....I will go with the flow and stop wondering about things as wondering really does hurt my brain :) I guess I am scared of getting hurt again, I tend to run away from men a lot! I may decide to do with this one I just don't know... fun sounds good though :)
- Sheila Hey Valerie, I think it's a little too soon to bring up the "where is this going" topic. It sounds like he really likes you and I think you should just go with the flow for now. Go out with him, have fun and see where things go =)
- sally @valerie, anyone??
Cassandra Sometimes this isn't always the case. I was "with" a guy for several months. We had all the sure tell signs of being in a relationship. We went on dates, studied together, I basically stayed the night at his place every night, etc. etc. finally he asked me to be his date to his formal so obviously I went. That night I wanted to tell him that I had feelings for him and as soon as I said it, he told me he was just in it for the sex. I was not only extremely confused, but obviously devastated because it looked and felt exactly like a real relationship
- Heather Hi Cassandra! I'm so sorry that happened to you! I agree, it can be really, really hard to tell exactly what a relationship is and what just sex is. I hate that you had to find out the hard way though!
Anonymous I met this guy last year in June at my friends party, him and I know alot of the same people but never met till that night... weird lol, but we ended up running into each other a lot more around town and finally exchanged numbers. We then started hanging out a lot (party's, camping, bars, so on) and he would hold my hand and kiss sometimes I could tell he liked me and I started really falling for him. Finally in August we finally had sex! And have been now for almost the past yeah we haven't talked about out feelings I tend to put up a wall due to past relationships and so does he for the same reason we can hang out and talk about almost anything but whats going on between us I've met his friends and hes met mine hes even met some of my family. There are times when at night Ill come over and its just to cuddle and watch a movie but we end up having sex (its hard to keep our hand off each other) We classify our selfs at friends to the public but there are times when were out on the town with friends he holds my hand or steps in if someone hits on me. Unfortunately there are times when I notice my self texing or calling him first most of the time and he just broke the news to me the other night that he is moving out of state with his friends in a week :o. When he told me I didnt act how I felt I simply told him that "its awesome you getting out of this city but its going to suck here with out you" (idk how long he will last/stay gone im sure hell come back) but I didnt want to make him feel like im trapping him and especially since were not official idk hes confusing me idk if I have just been a bootycall this whole time because Im convenient for him or what. Hes a very free spirit as well as I, but there are times when I wish I could talk to him everyday (and he will reply back to every txt) or see him more than I do now, I dont know how ill handle him gone I only have eyes for him finding another guy is something im not interested in even tho Im not in a relationship with this guy! HELP!
- Denise Hi there. Why don't you tell him how you feel? He might be thinking and feeling the same thing. And if he doesn't want the same thing as you do, then he's leaving.... You won't have to see him for a while (or a long time). Let us know how it goes!
Anonymous I don't know what to do
Xtinah Meet this guy from sa an we been chating for th past week now... Really like him but he doesn't tell me if he likes me or not.....we chat almost every time an he send me kisses Thursday he is coming to Namibia for a business an he would love to take me out to dinner do you guys think i should sleep over at his hotel just to make out no sex he didn't suggest it thore......or is it too soon?
- Sheila Hey Xtinah, Welcome to AWS! It IS a little too soon and you run the risk of making him think this is just sex. Plus, it's hard to draw a line when you're actually in his room and chances are it will go beyond making out. How long before he's back from Naimibia? At the end of the day, the decision is yours but I honestly think it's a little too soon. Good luck!
Jamie Okay so I just got out of a relationship about two weeks ago. My Ex and I have a mutual friend, and that friend has said before jokingly if my ex were to screw up that he would defintely be with me......well since then, him and I have talked through e-mails and have met up multiple times, around the 5th time, we had sex. There was a lot of sexual tension built up so it went amazing. Since then, each time we've seen each other we usually conversate and just be together, and at the end we have sex. He's stopped over after work just to talk and has gone home. But it seems like i'm always e-mailing him first, should i hold off on that and back off a bit to keep him interested instead of seeing him all the time? He's told me he likes me, and i have told him that the feeling is mutual. I'm not sure how to tell if he likes me just for the sex or if it could be something more than that. I have high hopes for an eventual relationship, but i'm not into wasting my time...
- Sheila Hey Jamie, Welcome to AWS! I think it would help to back off a bit. If he's interested, he'll pursue you for sure. Also, it doesn't sound like you're spending a lot of time outside. Maybe that's one thing you two need to do. Watch a movie, go out for dinner, clubbing that sort of thing. If he's willing to spend time outside your house, then I'm sure there's more to it than just sex. Good luck and thanks for visiting us!
Nicole I'm a college student and going to be a junior, he is going to be a senior. He is typically known for being quite the ladies man. I did have sex with him too soon, which was a mistake but it happened and I don't typically do that so I forgave myself. We continued to have sex and he invited me on his next 4 fraternity date functions and over the last two and a half months I've gotten to know his friends and roommates. I've heard from more than one of them that he talks about me and says great things about me which I don't believe is normal behavior for him. However, although we've hung out in the day and have really great, long real life talks we haven't really gone on "dates" outside hanging out at his house or parties. He knows about me, my friends and my family and I know about his. The last few weeks of school we were having less sex than normal and there were even a few nights I slept over with no sex at all. It was really weird because I clearly wanted to and we still hooked up but no sex. He's told me before that I'm the "most fun sex he's ever had" and numerous times...which is a compliment because his number is quite high. If he enjoyed having sex with me so much why does he not want lately?! I came and visited campus where he is staying as I'm home because school is out for summer and we didn't have sex!! It was so weird considering it'd been two weeks since we've seen each other and won't see each other again for awhile as I'm going to Greece. Yes, I was angry with him because he got much to drunk the night before but still! He came and got me at 10PM because he knew I wanted to spend time with my friends and yes I had been drinking but I made it clear I wanted to have sex, and we've done it countless times before after drinking. We just had a super short hookup, made out, talked for two hours...cuddled and went to bed. I am so confused!! Please help me. He's told me he likes me in the past but I think this no sex thing is SO out of character. Is he losing interest? Does he not find me attractive anymore?! What is the deal! I'll take any advice I can get, thank you and sorry for the book of a post!
- Sheila Hmmm Nicole, It's hard to say. I don't think he'd spend so much time with you if he was losing interest. I mean who spends all night with someone they don't want to be with and that too talking and making out. So I'm pretty sue that's not it. Since you are going away for a while, I'd say let it go and see how things are when you come back. Right now is probably not a good time to talk to him about it because it could make things awkward. So just wait till you get back, keep in touch with him in the meantime and see what happens. Good luck! Have fun in Greece =)
Amyholic Ok I met this guy last November. Since then we've been seeing each other back and forth. For a couple weeks, we went out for a movie and to dinner and stuff. But after then our relationship turned to be only sexual. However, he calls me when he goes out with his bf and last time he took me to drink with his friends. We talked about a lot of my life and his life. I already said to him that I like him a lot but he said he doesn't want any relationship. Today, after the deed, he was trying to cuddle with me and tell me not to go home and spend the night. But I was too afraid of seeing him in the morning. He tried to convince me to spend the night several times but when it comes to sleepovers, I got too nervous. What if I build up things in my mind, and he just needs someone to sleep with.. I'm getting very mixed signals from him. Would you help me out? I still like him a lot..
- Heather Hey Amy! Welcome to AWS! First, I think that you do need to talk to him a bit. If the relationship started out as just sex and now he is trying to involve feelings, it might be time to define exactly what your relationship is. Who knows, maybe you'll end up with a boyfriend at the end of this!
Anonymous I've been seeing a coworker for a long time now. We spend time together but not too much in public. Our kids play together really well & his daughter adores me. But we tend to have a lot of sex, more than we actually spend time together. He does call all throughout the day and texts me too. But we don't go out and i haven't been formally introduced to his family either. What also really bugs me is that he's always taking care of things for me as far as my house and car. But I don't understand why he does all of this and he's still not moving forward with me.
- Sheila Hi there, Welcome to AWS! If you have been seeing him for a long time, I think you should be able to have "the" discussion by now. You seem to get along great and he seems to really care so you need to find out what's stopping him from taking things forward. The only way to do that is to have an honest discussion with him. Good luck!
mel My boyfriend of now was the one who was after me in the first place asking me to be his girlfriend,but since i didn't know him well i said no many times but he kept coming back so i said yes.we used to contact each other and in the process i fell for him too. The problem is he never contact me after we had sex and if i ask him why then he tells me that he feels wierd to contact me. I,ve tried everything I could to make it work out but he's so cold.
- Sheila So sorry to hear that Mel! I hate to say this but it sounds like he just wanted to sleep with you. You need to ask him whether or not he still wants to be with you or not. You can't keep holding on forever. Good luck.

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