I was married for six years when I found out my husband was having an affair. I was devastated, but when I looked back, I knew I ought to have seen the signs. How to tell if your guy is cheating? Here are some ways…
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1. He Starts Taking Better Care of Himself
If he starts working out, or wearing nicer clothes, he may not be doing it just for you. He might be doing it to impress someone else.
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When a man suddenly shows an unsettling interest in grooming habits or altering his appearance drastically, it could be a red flag. Perhaps he has invested in new colognes or is fastidious about his hair. Maybe there's a newfound obsession with his physique that includes diet changes or a rigorous gym schedule. While self-improvement is commendable, if these changes are accompanied by secretive behavior or do not include you in his renewed zest for life, they may point towards an external romantic interest igniting this transformation.
2. His Taste in Music Changes
If his iPod used to be full of Death cab for Cutie, but now he’s listening to Kenny Chesney, he might be seeing someone who is encouraging his new taste in music.
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It's natural for people to explore different genres, but a drastic shift might suggest influence from a new romantic interest, particularly if he's enthusiastic about songs or artists he previously overlooked. Pay attention if he's suddenly attending country music concerts or learning to line-dance, especially if he's doing so without you. His newfound passion might be more than just a phase—it could be a clue that there's a significant other who's imprinting their preferences on him. This is especially telling if the music he’s into now is something he once couldn't stand.
3. He Spends a Lot Less Time with You
If he blows you off on your usual date night once in a while, that’s one thing. But if all of a sudden he doesn’t want to spend any time alone with you, he might be feeling guilty.
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Occasional schedule conflicts are understandable, but a marked decrease in quality time can raise red flags. Pay attention if he's repetitively choosing friends, hobbies, or work over moments with you, especially if these excuses seem out of character. It could be a sign that he's distancing himself due to feelings of guilt or preoccupation with someone else. Trust your intuition; if your shared moments are dwindling without a clear reason, it might be time to have a candid conversation about where your relationship stands.
4. He Has New Friends You Haven’t Met before
If he is always talking about friends, male or female, that he’s never really mentioned before, they might actually be HER friends.
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When your man starts spending time with a new circle, and you're never introduced despite opportunities, it could be a sign something is amiss. Especially if he's evasive when you ask about them, or makes plans that don't include you, using vague excuses. Socializing separately once in a while is healthy, but secrecy surrounding these friendships could indicate a deeper problem. Keeping an eye on how he speaks about these friends—the fondness or frequency—might give you a clue about whether they're simply new buddies or possibly connected to infidelity.
If you're looking to engage your partner in intriguing conversations, why not try some hypothetical questions for couples? These fun queries will not only keep the conversation lively but also stimulate deep thoughts and potentially reveal insights about each other's personality and thought processes.
5. He Hides His Cell Phone Texts or Calls
If he’s always sending calls to voicemail when you’re together, or if he takes his phone in the bathroom with him, you may need to wonder.
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Keeping his phone on silent, snatching it up the moment it buzzes, or consistently positioning it face down can also raise red flags. Not only does he avoid sharing what’s on the screen, but he may also clear his text history or hurriedly close apps as you walk by. This desire for privacy might not be concerning on its own, but combined with other secretive behaviors, it could hint at attempts to conceal communications that he doesn’t want you to see. Trust your gut—if his relationship with his phone seems to be changing, it’s worth considering why.
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6. He Treats You Differently
If he seems distant or on edge or is more critical of you than usual, he may be trying to get YOU to dump HIM. He might be stressed about school or work, but typically, if a guy starts treating you differently than before, something else is going on.
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It's all about the subtle yet significant shifts in his behavior. If he used to be attentive and loving, but now avoids eye contact and seems irritable, trust your instincts. Communication is key in relationships, and if you're no longer in the loop of his daily life, it's possible he's investing time and energy elsewhere. Remember, consistent patterns over time are more telling than isolated incidents, so look for ongoing changes in the way he interacts with you.
7. He Accuses YOU of Cheating
If he was never the jealous type before, but suddenly starts treating you with suspicion or jealousy, he might be transferring his own guilty feeling to you. This is a typical sign of guilt, and you should definitely be on the alert!
8. He Kisses Differently
If his kissing style changes suddenly, he might be trying something new, or he might have learned something new from someone else.
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A sudden shift in the way your partner kisses you could be a sign of infidelity. Physical intimacy is often influenced by personal experiences, and if his lips are telling a different story, it might be because they have been whispering secrets elsewhere. Alterations in tenderness, technique, or even the frequency of kissing can be subtle indicators that he is expressing affections that have been practiced or perfected with someone else. Pay attention to these changes, especially if they are accompanied by other worrying signs in your relationship.
9. His Friends and Family Start Avoiding You
If his sister used to be your BFF but now she’s not taking your calls or meeting you for coffee or shopping anymore, she might know something you don’t know. His friends and family won’t rat him out, but sometimes their behavior can signal a change, too.
10. He Blocks You from MySpace or Facebook
If all of the sudden you can’t see his Facebook wall or MySpace page, he may be hiding messages from another girl. Why else would he block you, unless he’s hiding something?
The best way to find out if your man is cheating is to ask him, of course. And if he has been unfaithful, you might be tempted to blame the other girl, but it’s not her fault. It’s his. So dump that loser and find someone who really appreciates you!
Want to know more about how to find out if he's cheating, check out these 10 Obvious Signs of Cheating … Is He a Cheater?
Do you have any tips on how to tell if your guy is cheating? Please share them! We need to know!
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Comments
Macy: I need some help. My situation is very complicated so bear with me. My boyfriend and I have been doing long distance for just two short months. At the beginning there were rumors that this girl and him starting talking as in having a "thing". When I found out I confronted him directly and asked him about it, he told me he knew she liked him and that he couldn't change how she felt. Then i started hearing more and more things about them hanging out and what not... but never actually had proof of anyone seeing them together. The big moment I burst was when I found out she bought him a dog. I confronted him and asked him and he did admit it, saying that she was crazy and he couldn't do anything about the way she felt. So we had a few day argument and whatnot but it blew over cause he told me he would talk to her about this... When he told me he talked to her she seemed to disappear.. or so i thought. About two weeks later, I hear from my best friend when she was over at my boyfriends house for his older brother she heard the girl IN HIS ROOM. I snapped and texted him saying to never call me again and good luck with this girl. He texted me all confused, and called me eight times. I never called him back... then the next day he didn't call me or text me. We've started talking again a little bit, and I constantly hear about her buying him things but they aren't doing anything together physically. What is he thinking? Can you explain to me, and should I consider this cheating... because he still texts me saying he misses me and he loves me and when anyone asks him he denies having a thing with this girl. I know the signs point to yes, but is he using her for just her money? Because she's bought him an ipad, laptop and a puppy. I don't know what to do... and maybe letting him go is the best thing, or him admitting it is the closest thing to me forgiving him.
gina: I have been in a relationship with this man who allegedly had stellar integrity. We have been together for seven years. I have discovered that he has cheated on me for the past six. He moved in a year ago and told me "the past is the past, we can only look to the future now". There has been this one year that he has allegedly been true to me and wants to base our future on that. I don't know if I can. We are in counseling, and it is helping, but he seems so flippant with how I feel about his lies. I don't see a way around this emotionally. We get along great and have had a lovely life, but I don't know if that is enough. Any ideas on either how to get through this and stay together or how to shake this feeling of dissalusionment and get on with my life independently. We are in our late thirties and are engaged. I was never in a rush to be married, he was. Glad I did not marry him so far.
VikkiC08: So my man has seemed to be kissing differently. I have been having several several crazy dreams about him cheating on me. And if i mention it to him, then im the cheater! He tells me i'm crazy and bipolar. We have a one year old together. He recently started working out, (which he never does) and i've caught him talking to a 14 year old girl. She sent him pictures of herself (nothing bad) and he sent her one too. Apparently they talked everyday for like a month. and when i found out i got POff. I let her know that he is takin and at the time i was pregnant. He told me he would never talk to her again, but it was BS bc he can't have any girls as friends, or friends period. Which is crap. I found out that his actuall best girl that is a friend, sent him messages of facebook talking about how she wishes they could go back to when they were together (because they obviously dated-but decided they should just be friends). She wished they didnt have kids and could be together. And he agreed. I also caught him texting that 14 year old girl again a few months back. WOW! I dont know what to do honestly. Because if I say something then i'm crazy, and a Biotch, and bi-polar, and im the cheater. What the heck am I suppossed to do? I want to trust him I really do, and he swears up and down that he has never cheated on me before, but I just don't know. I know talking to someone is not cheating, but phone sex and actual sex is. But how do I know if thats what he's doing?
Wife: I been merry for 19 years we have 6 kids together but every time we go out dancing he think he could talk to women well he is out side the club smoking is that ok is it normal please help
buffy: and they begin to avoid u and ur questions it is so messed up.
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