I hear so many of my friends talking about how they met a guy and had wonderful sex and then the guy only calls or comes by when he wants sex. OK honey what you need to know is that what you had with him was a physical attraction that magnified feelings of a deeper nature. Now let me make myself clear he is not a bad guy, for the most part, he was simply thinking “it’s just sex what’s the harm in that”. So here are some super signs to look for to see if it is just sex:
1.
Every time you see each other it’s only to have sex. So many women and men are having this type of relationship thinking that it’s more and it’s not. It’s Just Sex.
2.
Only comes over at night. They call you around 10 pm or later asking if you can come over or if they can come over around midnight. A lot of people think “oh they are just really busy” no they are calling for a booty call. It’s Just Sex.
3.
Doesn’t want to go out anywhere. Yes staying at home is nice sometimes but there is a whole world outside of the bedroom. It’s Just Sex
4.
Never talks about family and friends. Think, do you even know if their parents are alive, do they have siblings. If you don’t know it might just be sex.
5.
Doesn’t want to hear about your family and friends. Are you bummed out about your family and want to talk about it and they don’t want to hear about it. It could be just sex
6.
Phone conversations or text messages are only in a sexual nature. Some relationships are like this but others are Just Sex.
7.
You only meet at places where sex can occur. Only going to their house/apartment or vice verse might just be sex.
8.
No sleepovers. They come over at midnight have sex and then around 2 am they want to go home or send you home. Oh yeah it’s just sex.
9.
You don’t eat together. Ever hear that old saying “a couple that eats together stays together”.
10.
They take a shower right after sex and send you on your way. Normally you want to rest a bit and maybe talk. When they all of a sudden they want you to leave it’s probably just sex.
11.
Never talk about life outside the bedroom. There are so many other things going on that you could talk about.
12.
You only have a cell phone or beeper number. It could be Just Sex
13.
When you talk it’s only to setup a sex time. Ever call then and setup a time to meet and you end up having sex. It’s Just Sex.
14.
They avoid you in public. You see them and you know they saw you and they turn away. It’s Just Sex.
15.
Only spends a couple of hours with you. Only spend enough time with you to have sex. Then It’s Just Sex.
I have been seeing this guy for about 7yrs and 3yrs out of that he went away. i was seeing some1 else in the past also but that was bcuz i was young and we were not in a relationship and i didn’t actually tell him that,so he found out and was mad at me.but this guy is very freaky,he wants to have another guy sleep with me while he watches. we tried a threesome in the past but that didn’t go to well, bcuz i wasn’t compfortable.He says he is not ready for a relationship right now but he is doing this bcuz he wants to know that if he does get into one that it won’t be boring.I really like him and we have a history so i said i would do it for him, but last week we had the best sex we ever had in a while. so i asked him if he minds me having sex with some1 else and he says that he doesn’t want me to but if i choose to then let him know (so that he uses a condom) bcuz we dont use 1 and he trust me that much.So my question is shud i do it or will it b a waste of time,that he won’t take it any further than sex?
Well lets see I started hanging out with this guy and after a few weeks of hanging out we had sex we don’t meet at my house or his usually I just call him up and im like hey wanna grab a bite or he’ll call me like he wats sup watchu doin …or ill ask him if he could take me to the store and he’ll say yeah but I have afew stops do u mind and it ends up turing into us goin to see his cousins and/or co-workers chillin with them for a min and he does introduce me to his friends,and when we do eat he shares everythang drinks sandwiches he even gave me his chapstick because I mentioned I needed some and when we finally get to sex we usually talk 4 about 2,3 hrs just holding eachother and after sex we hold eachother and talk or sleep then around 4 or 5 I go home and he goes home now my doubt comes from the way he act at work he flirts with every1 and ignores me and we don’t really talk on the phone that much but in person we can’t stop talking… ..outside of work its nothing like that the only time I feel like he’s not interested is when were at work so im wondering if he really likes me or if he just enjoys having sex with me
Robin and Tasha, I think it would be best if you ask the guys what your relationship status really is. That’s just my idea. Uncertainty is a b*tch when it comes to these things. Might as well be sure so that you’d know if you want to take things forward or move on or let them be.
This guy and I are friends and he has a gf but she didn’t have sex with him and he asked me to be friends with benefits so we ended up having sex a lot and then he broke up with his gf cuz he said he liked me better but he’s 2 years younger and we always have sex so I don’t know if that’s all I am to him and he broke up with his gf for my sex or he really does like me. But we keep it on the down low around friends and were not dating
Sounds like it’s just sex, Jordin. If you want a relationship, you should look for it somewhere else.
Me && my best friend got drunk && ended up kissin after dat we kept kissin another time we got drunk && had sex after that all we do is kiss && play around but he’s always wit me he always calls me && textes me && he’s so sweet but he says he likes me && I like him yet he won’t ask me out && when we argue bout it cuz I feel like I’m just his friend wit benifits he tells me its not like that he says hez not usin me or anythin yet he talks to another girl he likes so I don’t kno what to do like does he just wants to be my friend && have sex && stuff or will it lead to like a relationship??
I am seeing a guy and I know it’s just sex. Took me a while to accept. He only comes by at his convenience, acts as though he’s interested in me but isn’t; sets up dates and never follows through – he followed through in the beginning; we don’t go out any more and he doesn’t communicate unless he wants sex.
So, the last couple of times he came over, I conveniently excused myself from having sex and didn’t.
Yea allll u ppl seem 2 b JUST HAVING SEX. If u want more, suggest for more. But I’m sorta guessing you may not be ready for more. Some girls I know are not ready for a committed relationship; many guys could sense that (they’re not that stupid). Sometimes we make excuses to ourselves that we want to be in a relationship but it’s not working out, it’s the guy, it’s us, etc…. but at the end we need to realize that you and the guy are not really into each other to be in a committed relationship together. Sure, enjoy the time you spend together. Sure, if you feel uncomfortable about the situation (feeling used or guilty) then stop. You always have a choice, remember, you’re the one in control. You can go straight with the flow of the things or you can make a turn. :)
I dated a guy for the past two years, we broke up this past winter because I was in school and he was back home, only 45 minutes away, but we were moving in different directions…i broke up with him but heres the kicker…
I’m home now and since the day I broke it off, I still loved him. and now he and I are like hooking up but not having sex because he didn’t feel right about it….yet he is doing almost all the things listed above…its a clusterfuck.
Why are you girls so stupid!
Jordin: You became friends with benefits and he had a gf, you are an immoral whore for hire. You deserve every ounce of using.
i’m in denial. help.
Ive been seein this guy for 6 months and at the moment ive been living with him and his family. but theirs a rule in his house no sex! but he keeps pestering me 4 it im worried because when he was seein his last gf he cheated on her because she wasnt sleeping with him he told me he got bored so he strayed.im having doubts about our relationship as the other day he told me was goin up to see an old m8 the problem is his mates a girl and hes always talkin about her. i was thinking of trusting him until he asked me for a free weekend sex pass which entitles him to sleep with any one he likes with no strings attached im so confused….can you help?
to Laura:
I think you SO need too break up with this guy. He sounds like a total asshole! Do you really like him so much you’d want to put up with all the cheating? I don’t know, but I don’t think he’ll become a better boyfriend. If I were you I’d leave him ASAP.
I feel so sad you guys…I met this guy in High School and I had a big crush on him,but i was too shy to let him know. Time went by and I went to college…we met back up in college…we hung out very little. Then one day I went to his dorm room to watch a movie one thing led to another and we made out…we didn’t go all the way because he was a virgin. More time goes by and we are both out of college we go out to lunch one day and afterwards we go back to my place and we have sex..I was his first. so then we became friends with benefits…at this time my feelings start to grow for him…so i confess to him…he says he likes another girl and he moves away ( i heard that he moved all the way across country just to be with her…it didn’t work out though). So he has been gone for 2 years and during this time we send each other texts about sex. Then one day after work I come home and there he is waiting for me …we have sex and our sex relationship continues…except for now he doesn’t talk to me unless its about sex. all he wants is sex we’ve tried so many sexual things together…the sex is great but i don’t like how he basically ignores me until he is horny. I feel like a whore. I told him this and he’ll change for a little bit but then he always goes back to ignoring me….like sometimes I’ll text him and he wont text back…one time i even asked for sex and he ignored me…I feel horrible..weak and sad we’ve been friends for 10 years , but he doesn’t act friendly to me anymore. for the record I don’t want to date him because honestly it feels as if I don’t know him anymore. I’m at a point in my life where a sex relationship would be ok , but not like this …what should I do?
to Mo:
Why don’t you stop seeing this guy and communicating with him all together? I mean you don’t really want a relationship with him and even “friendship” with benefits is no longer fun… Why don’t you just forget about the guy and start meeting other people? I mean, clearly, he doesn’t even sound like a nice guy (ignoring your texts and everything), it doesn’t even sound like friendship… Do you really want to continue feeling bad just because of this guy who doesn’t even care enough to treat you well?
Thank you Olga,…you are right…I’m trying my best to stop talking to him ..I’m on day 3..its so hard though. You are right about the “friendship” as well….friends don’t treat other friends the way that he does…as a matter of fact I haven’t heard from him since Monday..I feel so broken down..why did I allow this to go on for so long? Thanks again =)
Dear Mo,
If it is possible, stop contacting this guy. You need to take care of yourself and remember that you are precious. You are allowing him to make you feel like less of a person, but the power is in your hands to surround yourself with people that appreciate you enough to call you back, to take the time to see you and spend time with you. It is probably a good idea to cut this guy off, take some time to take care of you, a break from dating and spend time with friends that love you, respect you and make you feel great.
to Mo:
Yes, it’s very hard, especially at the beginning, but it’s like quitting smoking, it’ll get easier and easier and one day you’ll wonder why you haven’t done that earlier :)
I found it helps to delete all the contact info I might have – the e-mails address, the phone number. I remember I couldn’t do it just like that, so I wrote it down on some piece of paper, just in case. But then my roomie threw it away by accident and I literary couldn’t get hold of this guy I wanted to forget about. It’s great to not have the contact info, since there’ll be times when you kind of feel like texting or calling, and when you don’t have the phone number, you just can’t do that. I know it’s pretty radical, but it works.
It also helps to get some distraction, to meet a new guy, go out … just to get your mind off the guy who broke your heart.
thanks for the advice everyone…I will try to be strong (^_^)
Hellooooo,
What the hell is wrong with you girls? Do you have no common sense or morals? WHat do your parents think of all your sucking and banging all over town. You all need to up the self-esteem and go find your own men who will love and respect you and be with you only. And not just in a bed. WTF?!?