15 Signs It Is Just Sex, Not a Relationship …

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15 Signs It Is Just Sex, Not a Relationship ...

I hear so many of my friends talking about how they met a guy and had wonderful sex and then the guy only calls or comes by when he wants sex. OK honey what you need to know is that what you had with him was a physical attraction that magnified feelings of a deeper nature. Now let me make myself clear he is not a bad guy, for the most part, he was simply thinking “it’s just sex what’s the harm in that”. So here are some super signs to look for to see if it is just sex:

1.

Every time you see each other it’s only to have sex. So many women and men are having this type of relationship thinking that it’s more and it’s not. It’s Just Sex.

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  1. October 26, 2011 at 2:17 am Permalink
    Anonymous says:
    Ok, so if anyone is reading this I have a question. I’ve only been seeing this guy for a few weeks and yes I had sex too soon, but come on we’ve all done it. ... See more He calls me before 9pm, doesn’t call at typical booty hours you know midnight or later… he talks to me about work,a bit about our pasts, a bit about his brother, we listen to music and he stays the night. He spoons me when we haven’t even had sex and seems to be ok with going to sleep without it. Is this typical behavior of a booty call? I admit I haven’t shown a lot of interest in him, I haven’t really made any compliments, I don’t really call ( only twice in almost 3 weeks) and haven’t told him I like him…so many years of being treated like crap I’ve shut myself off emotionally and get freaked out to be vulnerable. Yes, we’ve only hung out at my house, he doesn’t really make a move (seriously went over 4hrs with no move from him till i finally did) every time he comes over he stays the night and cuddles or spoons for a fair amount of time. I’m confused, I don’t know if it’s just booty or what. There’s no pressure to have sex and like I said he seems to be fine not having it and just going to sleep. I don’t get it. Booty calls I’ve had in the past make late night phone calls, are naked within minutes of arrival and rush out the door soon after. Why is this guy hanging around and sleeping in my bed?
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    • May 15, 2012 at 5:44 am
      itumeleng says:
      may be he enjoy your company he just dont see you as a booty call anymore.maybe he is falling inluv with he just cant say it.but becarefful gal ,dont take into consideration yet.men are tricky
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    • October 26, 2011 at 2:31 am
      Sheila says:
      Hey there,
      If you made the first move the first time and if he’s perfectly okay with just lying next to you and not taking it further, I think it means that he’s interested in ... See more more than just sex but doesn’t quite know what to do next since you are so closed to him. You don’t mention how you feel about him but if you do like him,maybe you guys should get out and spend more time getting to know each other. If however you don’t like him and only want a physical relationship, then maybe you should talk to him and tell him that’s what you’re interested in?
      Thanks for visiting AWS!
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  2. April 7, 2012 at 5:35 am Permalink
    Confused dot com says:
    I’ve been hooking up with this guy for about a couple of months. He’s older than me, I’m 19, he’s 22. The first three weeks we’d been seeing each other we didn’t sleep together, even ... See more though we met while out clubbing and we came home together. And once again, didn’t sleep together then. Anyway, now we’re sleeping together, and I told him that I didn’t want anything from him, I only wanted someone to hook up with-I have a phobia of relationships, and I’m at uni, I just wanna have fun. Anyway, he’s invited me to a couple of BBQ’s with his friends and stuff in the short time we’ve been seeing each other, I haven’t introduced him to any of my friends…. The other night when I was out with my friends and we had planned to hook up after the night was out, he was telling me that he likes me so much and wants to get serious yada yada, through text and he was drunk as was I. I was like awww, cuz I do like him. But a relationship couldn’t happen because he is moving in mid may-hence the reason I wanted to hook up, clean break. But the next morning after we had hooked up, he went and I read through the texts, some of which I couldn’t remember. Supposedly we’d become a couple. Haha. Anyway, I texted him about it, and he was like I meant what I said but we’ll just keep it how we are now and see how we feel nearer the time I leave. I was like okay. But after that, I’ve been home for three weeks cuz of the Easter holidays, and he has been communitcating with me less and less. This guy is giving me really weird signals. He didn’t have to say that stuff to get into my pants cuz I was sleeping with him anyway. I’m not sure what he wants from me, because I just thought it was a hook up, and my friends aren’t helping by planting ideas in my head. So I hope you can help :)
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    • April 9, 2012 at 6:04 pm
      Sheila says:
      Hello,
      Welcome to AWS!
      It’s normal for feelings to come in the way of a casual hookup. I don’t think he has an agenda here. Maybe he just really likes you. You need to figure ... See more out what you want and let him know. If you haven’t changed your mind about what you wanted, tell him. If you think you have feelings for him and want to give this a shot, do that. Whatever your decision is, just let him know.
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  3. October 17, 2011 at 10:09 am Permalink
    Barbara says:
    I have been friends with this guy for about 4 years, through an ex boyfriend. When we started talking he was always trying to hint that he likes me but i kept ignoring it because ... See more i wasn’t ready for anything with my ex’s friend. I have gone over to his house just for lunch a couple of times and nothing ever happened. Then this one time we were supposed to meet and he happened to be with my ex (who we are very close with) and we had a couple of drinks and my ex kept insisting that i go with them to some party so we spoke for so long with him watching. Then when i decided i was going home he only called me to confirm i got there and didn’t talk to me for like 3 months (so i sensed jealousy yet he hadn’t really said that he wanted to be with me), but the whole time me and my ex were talking and he knew about it so started contact telling me that i had gone quiet on him yet i was talking to my ex, so we went back to our usual talking almost daily. Then suddenly he just starts hinting that he would like to have sex with me, but i was skeptical telling him asking him what that would mean to our friendship and he told me we should try take it a day at a time and let tomorrow work itself out, and after about 3 weeks of talking about it, we finally did and it was good. We went back to our usual talk and after about a month he mentioned it again but i wasn’t feeling well so we had to postpone it, and now he has started talking about it again telling me about how he likes sexy talk in bed and everything. so we have planned to meet over at his place later this week. But i am confused as to what relationship we have at the moment.
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    • October 17, 2011 at 5:24 pm
      Sheila says:
      Hey Barbara,
      I think it’s pretty obvious that at the moment it’s just about sex. Obviously, if you want something more out of this, you will have to discuss it with him at some point ... See more and put a hold on sex while you’re at it but if you’re okay with just sex, then I guess that’s that. Just figure out what YOU want before you get more involved with him.

      Good luck!
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  4. September 12, 2011 at 7:07 am Permalink
    A.G. says:
    He wants a relationship! There has been no sex, he knows i’m a 24 year old virgin and he’s okay with it, we always eat together, we talk about literature, school, work, politics, family, friends, ... See more emotions, and what we want in a relationship. He’s protective, sweet, and interested in my life.
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    • September 13, 2011 at 10:30 am
      Denise says:
      Hi A.G. Welcome to All Women Stalk!

      That’s really great! I am sooo happy with the way things are going for you. Treat each other well.
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  5. August 15, 2011 at 12:34 pm Permalink
    Anonymous says:
    I met this really nice guy a couple of weeks before the end of my school term. The first time we hung out we had sex, and every time after that we had sex. We’ve ... See more hung out 4 times. Then when my exams ended I moved back home for the rest of the summer. In September we’re both starting co-op jobs in different cities. He told me he’s not good at keeping in touch with people but I told him that I still wanted to keep in touch and visit each other. But since moving home for the rest of August I haven’t had a single text from him. I really like him, but I’m not looking for a relationship because I just left a 3 year relationship. But I do still want to see him and when we’re both back at school in January I want see him again. I just feel like we met at the wrong time, at the very end of term when people are going back home, so I can’t tell if this would have lasted if we did stay in the same city. When we hung out, we talked about our friends and family, and he said I can talk to him about anything. I don’t know if I should text him first or wait or just give up. Is it just sex or was it just the wrong time to meet and hope for something more than just sex?
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    • August 16, 2011 at 4:12 pm
      Sheila says:
      Hi there,
      I think the fact that you guys just had sex and did little else sort of works to your disadvantage. If he hasn’t bothered texting you or keeping in touch, I think it’s ... See more pretty evident that he’s not interested. My suggestion would be to move on. Thanks for reading!
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    • September 30, 2011 at 10:27 pm
      Diva1 says:
      Of course he is OK he just wanted sex, and you played the game. Maintain your dignity. Just because you have sex does not mean a man will love you. women need to take ... See more their power back by not giving in to sex to get a guy. Plenty of women can do that, find your value outside the bedroom and hold onto it, If man cannot wait, then he has no self control.
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  6. July 16, 2010 at 5:09 am Permalink
    Krista says:
    I met this guy a couple months ago. We had sex the fourth time we saw each other. Ever since, he’s been coming over when my family isn’t around(or calls me over) and we have ... See more sex. We don’t hang out at all. He doesn’t ever text me first. I know he’s a nice guy and he has been hurt in the past, but i really need to know where this is going. Can I expect commitment from him? I want a relationship.
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    • July 16, 2010 at 5:21 am
      Sheila says:
      Hey Krista,
      Honestly if all you guys are doing is having sex, I don’t think there is much of a future here. What you can do is casually suggest that maybe the two of you ... See more can hang out sometime… do dinner, watch a movie, go out partying. If he seems open to the idea, great! If he rejects it, you’ll know for sure that all he wants is sex.
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  7. April 28, 2012 at 2:32 pm Permalink
    anonymous says:
    hi need some help. Im 21 and the guy im seeying is 41. I know its a big difference in age but to me its not a problem. I got to know him over txt ... See more and long phone conversations before i slept with him, but im usually one of those people who listens to their gut instinct, so i made the first move. He is my first so we took things slowly and only got physical after 3 months. He says he works long hours, often will not call for three days at a time, and when we go out for a drink and its usualy drinks at the pub only with a few occassions of going to a restaraunt, and then we would end up in bed. Often he would say that i cant stay over cos he has to be up early to work but then tries to cover up by saying ‘you know i wouldnt do it if i didnt have to be up early’. He recently told me he is having tought time at work, but the things above have been happening since the begining of us seeing each other and his work related problems only within the past month. I asked him ages ago where we stand and he replied ‘lets just see how things go’. I know he had quite a few relationships, some lasted more than two years, but apart from that he wont speak of his past. He said the right woman never came along and he doesnt have any kids. He will often mention how i should be with a guy my own age and not him, about how much older he is than me. When im busy and cant see him, he keeps on persisting for an hour at a time, until he realizes that im unavailable. He did ask me however to tell him when i do find someone so he isnt second best. At one oint i walked out for a week without speeking to him and told him we shouldnt see each other as he could not offer me what i wanted to which he replyed, that he sadly agrees and that if i ever need anything i should give him a ring. UNfortunatly a week later i was the one to give the first call to him. Since then we got on fine, until recently, when i had an issue with a text from a friend and he suggested he write something, when i deliberated this, he said i dont trust him. In the end i handed it over with ‘new text’ space for him, but instead he closed it and went into my inbox to read my texts. I wasnt happy about it and told him in a polite way but it still makes me angry. The whole situation often makes me feel like im the booty call girl in his eyes, but when im with him im happy, but i would not call it love, just happy. Please give your advice. Thanks for your time
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    • April 30, 2012 at 10:07 am
      Sheila says:
      Hi there,
      Because the age difference is so massive, I’m not sure if something serious can happen between the two of you. Also, I’m not sure what it is that he wants because when you ... See more mentioned that you wanted to end things, he didn’t even try to make you stay. Obviously he’s possessive about you and insecure too but checking your phone messages is no way for a 40 something year old to behave. I also want to ask you if you see a future in this? I know you said it’s not love so what are you in it for? I think you both need to sit down and evaluate your relationship. If there is no future, what’s the point of being in it? Have a serious discussion and see what he has to say.

      Thanks for reading All Women Stalk!
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  8. April 4, 2012 at 11:04 pm Permalink
    Anonymous says:
    I have known this man for many years he comes into my place of work off and on we are booth married and have flirted and shown Intrest in each other we have txt off ... See more and on to each other we meet up about a year ago and made out !!! Now about two weeks ago we hooked up and went to his house and had sex and now I haven’t heard from him I txt him last week to let him know that I had a good time and that I did not expect any thing more from him !! But he never responded ??? Should I txt him again and ask him if everything is ok or should I just let it go ?
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    • April 5, 2012 at 12:49 am
      Denise says:
      Hi there sweetie. Maybe he decided that he wants to stop the little “affair” you had going on before it got out of hand. Maybe he felt guilty about cheating on his wife. Whatever his ... See more reason, I think it’s safe to say that he’s no longer interested.

      Thank you for dropping by All Women Stalk!
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    • April 5, 2012 at 11:23 pm
      Jdawg says:
      Well I guess that’s not what I wanted to hear !! But life goes on so I guess I got played ? Maybe next time he should think with his heart and not his dick ... See more !!! Than he would not have any guilt !
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    • April 5, 2012 at 11:56 pm
      Denise says:
      Hun, it was bound to happen. He’s married and so are you. One of you was bound to come to his/her senses. And it wasn’t you who got played; your husband and his wife got played. Hard. :/
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    • April 7, 2012 at 11:43 pm
      Anonymous says:
      Well the affair still goes on I don’t really think of it as a affair I like to think of it as just sex !! I know it’s wrong in both sides but I ... See more do have my reasons why I choose to step out of my marriage and why I choose to stay married !!! I’m not a home wrecker ! But it seems that maybe we both have needs that need to be met !! I guess it’s complicated ! I guess I’m just willing to take my chances maybe that’s what makes it so exciting ??? But I will continue to him untill I get bored with him!! I have been married for 12 yrs and together for 18 yrs so yes I do love my man …..
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    • April 8, 2012 at 9:47 am
      Denise says:
      I’m really sorry if I made it sound like I was judging you. You don’t have to explain your choices to me. Again, sorry….
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    • April 11, 2012 at 3:34 pm
      Anonymous says:
      so we continue to txt back and forth but he has not ask to see me again /. i really want to get to get together with him again im really not ok with a ... See more one night stand but im not sure what to say to him i dont want to sound like a whore 11 and i dont want to scae him away.. how should i tell him that i still want to see ? can any one out there help me out or is any one else out there doing as i do ??
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  9. April 7, 2011 at 11:29 pm Permalink
    Bellaisa says:
    I haven’t thought about the pain that #14 caused me in the past (They avoid you in public. You see them and you know they saw you and they turn away. It’s Just Sex.) I ... See more remember still thinking that I had a chance at a relationship…man, that was a rough time in my dating life!
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    • April 8, 2011 at 4:26 am
      Sheila says:
      You know what they say, all’s well that ends well :)
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  10. June 1, 2009 at 3:51 pm Permalink
    Vee says:
    I am seeing a guy and I know it’s just sex. Took me a while to accept. He only comes by at his convenience, acts as though he’s interested in me but isn’t; sets up ... See more dates and never follows through – he followed through in the beginning; we don’t go out any more and he doesn’t communicate unless he wants sex.

    So, the last couple of times he came over, I conveniently excused myself from having sex and didn’t.
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  11. May 10, 2012 at 10:31 pm Permalink
    Anonymous says:
    I’ve been seeing a coworker for a long time now. We spend time together but not too much in public. Our kids play together really well & his daughter adores me. But we tend to ... See more have a lot of sex, more than we actually spend time together. He does call all throughout the day and texts me too. But we don’t go out and i haven’t been formally introduced to his family either. What also really bugs me is that he’s always taking care of things for me as far as my house and car. But I don’t understand why he does all of this and he’s still not moving forward with me.
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    • May 14, 2012 at 4:17 am
      Sheila says:
      Hi there,
      Welcome to AWS! If you have been seeing him for a long time, I think you should be able to have “the” discussion by now. You seem to get along great and he ... See more seems to really care so you need to find out what’s stopping him from taking things forward. The only way to do that is to have an honest discussion with him.
      Good luck!
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  12. May 10, 2012 at 4:44 am Permalink
    mel says:
    My boyfriend of now was the one who was after me in the first place asking me to be his girlfriend,but since i didn’t know him well i said no many times but he ... See more kept coming back so i said yes.we used to contact each other and in the process i fell for him too. The problem is he never contact me after we had sex and if i ask him why then he tells me that he feels wierd to contact me. I,ve tried everything I could to make it work out but he’s so cold.
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    • May 13, 2012 at 5:08 am
      Sheila says:
      So sorry to hear that Mel!
      I hate to say this but it sounds like he just wanted to sleep with you. You need to ask him whether or not he still wants to be ... See more with you or not. You can’t keep holding on forever. Good luck.
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  13. May 7, 2012 at 4:37 pm Permalink
    Lily says:
    Hi! I have a question!
    So I’ve been dating this guy for awhile now and everything is going great. I’m just scared that our relationship revolves around sex. We both work a lot so we ... See more probably only get to see each other like 2 times a week and when we do we always have sex at his place. We do go out though before or after we have sex. He always ask about my family like what they do and what they’re doing. He texts me everyday just to ask what I’m doing and we aim every night to talk about our day. ( we both have prepaid phones and try to save our minutes.) A lot people tell me that if he doesn’t call that he is probably already in a relationship but I never asked him to call my phone because I honestly don’t like talking on the phone even with my friends. I’ve never met any of his friends because they don’t live close by and he just moved back here a month ago so he really doesn’t go out. He doesn’t have family here except his step brother,who he lives with at the moment. What bothers me is we do the same thing every time we hang out and we haven’t gone on an actual date. He said he was gonna take me out to eat but we’ve both been really busy with work,we live like 30 min away and he shares a car with his step brother and always has to pick him up from work. Another thing is that he feels awkward about meeting my family. I live with my parents and I asked him to come to my house to swim with me and he is afraid that my family will be there. He did say that eventually he have to most them but he just feel awkward when meeting parents.
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    • May 13, 2012 at 8:23 pm
      Sheila says:
      Hey Lily,
      Well, I think right now both of you are sort of helpless because of external factors like work and your timings. I’m sure he’s going to take you out the next time he ... See more gets a chance to so dont worry about it too much. As for your family, give him some time. I took a long time to say okay to meeting my boyfriend’s parents and there was no real reason except that I was nervous about it and needed time. Both of you are making an effort to make this work and I’m sure you just need some free time to figure things out. Good luck and keep reading All Women stalk :)
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  14. May 2, 2012 at 3:26 pm Permalink
    Anonymous says:
    hi i have a question there is this guy i recently met like 4 days agowe met n the weridest way we r both 19 btw he was helping my family mive he works for ... See more the moving company we hired well we talk all the time he call me. while hes working n we will talk from 11 to 9ish thats when he comes over n we’ll either drive around or hang out in front of my house but i know this sounds bad yesterday night we had sex t was a heat of the moment type thing we kinda both came onto eachother he called me today we have been talkig on the pone as usual but im tryig to think of what type of relationship he wants ya know? he calls me babe n when we joke around i say im not ir friend he say what are we then?
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    • May 13, 2012 at 6:23 pm
      Sheila says:
      Hello,
      Welcome to All Women Stalk,
      Well maybe you need to just wait and watch and see what happens. It’s a good sign that he still wants to hang out with you after the sex, ... See more which means he may want something more serious. I’d say keep sex off the table for now, get to know him better and see where things go.
      Good luck!
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  15. April 17, 2012 at 3:27 pm Permalink
    Anonymous says:
    So I’m confused. My ex bf from my freshman yr n high school txt me out of the clear blue like he usually does which is fine. well it’s been 5 yrs since we actually ... See more seen each other cuz he moved. In hs we dated for 2 yrs and it was a good 2 yrs. We never had sex cuz we were still innocent. Well When we dated I never really thought he liked me well come to find out he told ms that he actually did. I told him I also like him. So after that we talked about our relationship back then. Well he asked me if I wanted to get back together and I said yea if we clicked like we did n hs. Well come to find out we actually live close to each other. So I went to go see him….well I was thinking omg I haven’t seen this man n 5 yrs but I still picturing the same man. My ex changed for the better he got taller and was now built. I was so sexually attracted to my ex more than I ever was. Well we talked about the old times together outside and how much we changed blah blah…well we both were leaning n2 a kiss and the kissing was so magical. Well we went to his bedroom and we had sex something I didn’t even see coming cuz we were both innocent when we dated. Well after the sex we talked laugh being the couple we use to be. Well dinner time came around so I let him hang out with his cousin while I cook for him. Well I over heard his cousin say to my ex I know u love her and my ex responded saying I always have. Well after dinner I had to leave and I noticed something was bothering him but I didn’t say anything I just let it go. Well I asked him if he really wants to get back together and he said whatever I want. That response caught me off guard. Well I said no it’s both of our decision. Then he said yes if u want to b and I said ok let’s get back together. So we kissed each other bye and I left. The next day I txted him good morning and he started txting idk what I want blah blah blah… I said fine let’s stay friends. He said ok. That was that we txted through out the day anyways. So idk what happened I need help!! Was I just a booty call or he actually didn’t feel anything and just wants to stay friends. Another thing that gets me really confused is why would he tell his cousin if he still loves me if he didn’t feel anything?
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    • April 25, 2012 at 10:48 am
      Denise says:
      Hi there. He must have felt like he was put on the spot when you asked him about getting back together. Maybe he wants to get back, but now the decision feels rushed. (I’m just ... See more speculating here since I can’t read his mind.) I guess the best thing you can do is to give him time to sort out his feelings. Stay friends, talk, hang out, and see where things go.

      Thanks for dropping by AWS!
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    • May 2, 2012 at 12:18 am
      Anonymous says:
      @Denise,

      Every time we see each other we do talk and like friend but throughout the day he wants to kiss and have sex. Even unprotected sex and he finished in me. He ... See more tells me that he doesn’t care if he gets me pregnant. Is he trying to find away to tie me down?
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    • May 2, 2012 at 12:35 pm
      Denise says:
      I really can’t say what his intentions are. But it sounds like you’re not very happy about the situation… especially the part about having unprotected sex. If you don’t like what he’s doing, then please ... See more say no. Push him away if you have to. And then see how he reacts. Will he still contact you?
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    • May 3, 2012 at 2:25 am
      Anonymous says:
      @Denise, Hey says he wants a baby with me. Why does he want a baby if he only sees me as a booty call?
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  16. April 11, 2012 at 6:34 pm Permalink
    Anonymous says:
    I’m a guy that has sex with women. I’m dating 4 girls right now and plan to get the # to 6-7 (looking for hotter girls). Call me a pig, but it’s on my ... See more DNA to reproduce (sex) with fit females. None feel like its a booty call though. I plan for them to come over days in advance so it doesn’t feel like booty call. I also take them out occasionally…the city, hiking, etc. And I make sure they have plenty fun with me all the time. I generally have sex 2-4 times per week. They generally grow into the idea there’s no relationship and are ok with it because they have so much fun with me. Everybody wins.
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    • April 12, 2012 at 4:50 pm
      Sheila says:
      Looks like you’ve mastered the art of the booty call. :/
      Thanks for stopping by!
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  17. April 10, 2012 at 11:56 am Permalink
    Anonymous says:
    Im in love with this guy that lives a couple hours away and we sext sometimes but when its not sexting, its texting and he says he loves me and idk if hes just using ... See more me to sext cuz we went a month without sexting once so yea help me
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    • April 11, 2012 at 8:24 am
      Denise says:
      Hi there. Maybe he’s just having fun. But maybe it’s true what he says, that he loves you. Unfortunately, it’s really hard to tell how one really feels over text. Have you guys met in ... See more person?

      It was great to hear from you!
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  18. April 5, 2012 at 5:39 pm Permalink
    Anonymous says:
    I been seeing this guy for over a year now.. i’m 21 & hes 26. hes never taken me on a date & he usually comes over late because he says he works late but ... See more if i complain he does make time to come earlier if i dont have to work.. anyway recently i asked about commitment & he says hes not ready for an relationship, am i just sex to him?
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    • April 6, 2012 at 12:04 am
      Denise says:
      Hey there. I would have to say that yes, it appears that you are just a hook up to him. I’m sorry…. Or are you okay with this set up?

      Thanks for stopping by All Women Stalk!
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    • April 7, 2012 at 5:02 pm
      john says:
      hey u can cal me
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  19. April 3, 2012 at 9:26 am Permalink
    Anonymous says:
    Hey. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 8 months. He never texts me. Never pays for anything. We hardly ever meet up. He never says I love you & I always have to beg ... See more to meet up and he ends up making up an excuse. Yes he has exams and so do I so i understand he’s under alot of stress but were on a 2 week holiday from college now so I’m not sure? Help!! My parents say I should tell him to stuff it!
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    • April 3, 2012 at 3:51 pm
      Sheila says:
      Sorry sweetie but I’m with your parents here. Sounds like he’s definitely not into it. This isn’t how a relationship should work and seriously, if he’s not interested, he should at least have the courage ... See more to say so. My advice? Dump him!
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  20. March 29, 2012 at 11:33 am Permalink
    Dana says:
    I met a guy online 3 months ago we went out on a date once and then I came to his house abotu twice after that, we havent really seen each toher mcuh he says ... See more he’s busy, but we did have sex the one time, and he does text me a few tiems a week I asked him if he saw a future with us and he said for me to slow down so I ended things with him do you think he just wanted sex from me he didnt seem upset that I called it off he said ok I understand..
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    • April 3, 2012 at 8:18 am
      Denise says:
      Hello Dana. Yes, I think you were just a hook up for him. It might have led to something more but we’ll never know now. And to be honest, you were moving a bit too ... See more fast by asking him if he saw a future with you…. Anyway, I hope that you’re doing fine.

      It was great to hear from you!
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  21. March 28, 2012 at 11:42 pm Permalink
    Anonymous says:
    Ive been seeing my ****buddy for 4 years, at first it was just sex but now I have fallen for him and general care for him, We do really enjoy each others company. I also ... See more think he has fallen for me, last week he said Ive been thinking about us, we should go out and see if it works, but I dont wanna talk about it now. Will talk tomorrow about us? So ive been waiting for him to have the ‘us’ talk. everytime i bring it up he dont wanna talk about it, what should i do? was he just saying it because its what i want to hear? or is he slowly dumping me? so confused? all I want is for him to be honest about it with me grrr
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    • April 3, 2012 at 7:59 am
      Denise says:
      Hey there. Welcome to All Women Stalk!

      He might have said that to keep you around. What has happened since you posted this?
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  22. March 23, 2012 at 5:45 pm Permalink
    Anonymous says:
    Hi, I have a bit of a dilemma with my roommate…he is 34 and I am 23 and we’ve been living together for almost a year. When I first moved in, I thought he was ... See more such a cool roommate (and Ive had bad roommates before). We hung out, talked, drank wine together…the longer I lived there I noticed that he might like me and it turned out that he did. Anyway, weve been sleeping with each other for 4 months maybe, not consistently but on and off. He recently told me he loves me. But the strange thing is he doesnt want to date me, take me out on dates, or anything of that sort. Im very confused by what were doing and where this is going. He keeps saying that he is “damaged” and has committment issues, and I understand where he is coming from but at the same time Im beginning to think it’s just me. Like, if another girl came along he would be with her and that maybe I came off too easy. At the same time, he gets jealous when I hang out with my friends that are guys, or go on dates. He is always telling me how he doesnt like me leaving with other guys, even though I dont do anything with anyone but him. I also told him I wanted to move because I dont like not being able to decipher the situation between us and he got very upset. It seems like he cares so I can’t understand what’s going through his mind and why doesnt he just want to commit to me and I to him? Please help!
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    • March 28, 2012 at 11:26 am
      Sheila says:
      Sorry sweetie but it sounds like you need to give him an ultimatum. I understand if he wants to take things slow but he at least needs to make the effort to date you. It ... See more just sounds like he’s happy sleeping with you and doesn’t want you to date anyone else at the same time…which honestly, is unfair. I don’t see the harm in spending time outside. You do spend enough time indoors. What’s the difference?
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  23. February 18, 2012 at 2:18 pm Permalink
    Anonymous says:
    hello please help me how to forget the person i loved yet the same person who did hurt me so much, i think i’ve lost everything. We had this one month relationship and i didn’t ... See more know what exactly he wants. i wanna believe that he did love me too during that but my mind says it was just a fling. and now after 3 months he’s starting to keep in touch with me again. but i know he has a girlfriend. what should i do? i want to forget him. please advise
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    • February 20, 2012 at 4:03 pm
      Sheila says:
      Hello,
      If you’re pretty clear that you just want to forget him then decision made sweetie. Ignore him, tell him you dont want anything to do with him and move on :)
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  24. February 13, 2012 at 8:04 am Permalink
    jessielind says:
    Hi, I need some advices, can someone help me?
    I met a guy from a social website, we wrote so much for about 3 years, he lives in Germany and i lived in Asia. Now ... See more i have a chance to live in Germany, and yeah we had met each other.
    he is a nice and really funny guy, we are both crazy and we even felt like we had known each other at the first time we met. I can be myself and so comfortable when i am near him.
    And he also feels the same, he can speak his problems to me, he says that he trusts me..
    One day we had a flirty (or a dirty) chat on skype and that brought us to having sex.. He said i am different with the other girls, and he said i am special for him..
    But until now, a month has passed and he seems like doesnt want to start a relationship with me.. Okay he said he likes me, but not love. In german we say it “ich hab dich lieb”,it means more than like but less than love. But as a woman, i feel i have developed some feelings for him, i mean, i feel i start to fall in love to him..
    But it confuses me, after we had sex the 6th times, he doesnt write/chat me as much as we did before.. It confuses me, is it just a friend with benefit relationship or what? What shall i do? Shall i talk to him about this? Or just wait him to be sure that he also has the same feelings for me? Does it mean that this is just sex?? I dont want to have a friend with benefit relationship with him.. As we know, women also need love.. Or is this my mistake? Because we had sex in the early of our date? (We did it on the second date).. Thank you before..
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    • February 13, 2012 at 2:31 pm
      Sheila says:
      Hi Jessielind,
      I think it’s definitely time for you to talk to him about it. Tell him that you can’t go on like this and that you need something more from this “relationship”. I know ... See more its scary to find out what’s going on in his mind but better that than to keep playing the guessing game.
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  25. February 7, 2012 at 4:57 am Permalink
    Anonymous says:
    Hi,

    Is it normal for a guy to ask about sex so suddenly only after a week of being in relationship or as gf/bf? Also, when a guy lies about being a virgin, ... See more is his real motive was to only have sex then? Note that I’m a virgin. Also when the guy lies about his past/himself/the lil things he does..is that a sign for something also? And when you find out the guy has an active match.com account… then I should keep running & never turn back right? But this guy keeps contacting me & for some reason I still reply back…but I don’t meet up with him anymore..We just text. Deep down I know he is bad for me, he is no good but at the same time I still want to keep in touch with him/even want to meet up sometimes just to hang (no sex since I’m still a virgin). But I know I should just forget him completely but I can’t seem to do it….
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    • February 8, 2012 at 5:50 am
      Sheila says:
      Well sweetie,
      It seems like you’ve answered your own questions. Obviously, he just wants sex and from the looks of it, anyone will do. A relationship needs honesty and he’s been anything but. You deserve ... See more better! SO MUCH BETTER! Just stop talking to him and move on hun.
      Thanks for reading.
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  26. January 28, 2012 at 1:29 pm Permalink
    anonymously says:
    Hi there I need an advice ! I know this guy for 3months. We knew each other from website. We have been email to each other for 1 month before exchange the cell phone. I ... See more feel nice while we texting to each other and he feel the same way as well. And we share about our past relationship but didn’t talk about the family at all. Because he was away for business trip and when came back, seems like very keen to meet me and I feel the same way either, so we met up at 11.30pm and nowhere to go and we ended up at his place. We were kissing and I stoping his hand from touching my breast as I feel it was not the right time to have sex. He was ok with that but he wanted me to do the blow job, so I did it. Feel very stupid now. After that we still texting to each other, as it was near the christmas and new year so both of us were cropped up with our work and can’t meet at all. It was almost 1 month later then we meet up again for second dating after he came back from business trip and we ended up with sex without even have a porposes of having dinner and it was a good sex and the passion lust was there. Third dating after I came back from holiday and we ended wit sex at his place also after he finished his work at quite late. All the time I stayed over at his place. The problem is he never talk about his family at all eventhough he is willing to share what his activity he was doing when I asked. And he did ask me about my work and my family. At the third dating, he asking me to keep my shoes at the shoe cabinet, afraid that his mom or sister will see it when they come to his house. I feel weird and asking him is it that he afraid there is a girl staying at your place and he just keeep mumbling which I couldn’t understand what he was talking about. After the third date, he didn’t send any message to me anymore, I am the one that texting him and of course he replied me by telling what he is doing now, even I can not 100 percent believe him but I have to trust him in order to keep him. He is super rich guy, have an apartment and drive a bmw sport car..stay alone while still visiting his mom at the weekend, the problem is he is cute guy, rich, stable career not like me, why ended up doesn’t have any girlfriend at all? And I feel like he just treat me as a sex partner as no text from him anymore after the second sex with him. Should I treat him the same way as he treat me? Can our sex life leads to the serious relationship as he said he wants us together with emotional and physical contact, not only physical? Help!
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    • January 29, 2012 at 4:34 am
      Sheila says:
      Honestly, I don’t think there is much hope of this turning into something serious considering how quickly you guys jumped into bed. You could suggest an actual date and see how he responds. If he’s ... See more up for it, maybe there’s hope. If not, I think you should let go. Basically, keep sex off the table and see if that turns things around. Good luck!
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    • January 29, 2012 at 4:45 am
      Denise says:
      Hey there. I am very convinced that it was just sex for him. I’m positive that he was just after the sex. If he doesn’t back up his statement (he wants both emotional and physical ... See more contact with you) with actions, then you really shouldn’t expect much from him. You don’t have to stick around if this is not the way you want to be treated.

      Thanks for stopping by All Women Stalk!
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  27. January 25, 2012 at 5:04 pm Permalink
    Anonymous says:
    Hi yall I have a problem… there’s this guy that i really liked for about a month of so n we were just friends nothing more the thing is i wasn’t quite sure if he ... See more liked me. So one night I was a lil tipsy on the phone and I told him then he told me he liked me too! So the next day he came over to my place so we could talk n one thing led to the next n we hooked up. Now the thing is i’d just come out of a 4yr relationship and was only looking for a quick rebound guy no strings attached just someone who’d be there when i came home from a tough day NO STRINGS!!! n i told him that n that well i wouldn’t want it to ruin our friendship! but he told me if that’s what i wanted NO STRINGS he’d just walk away I had a choice of either all or nothing! so i though what the heck it couldn’t hurt so we started chasing each other text-ed a million times a day and spent at least 12 hrs talking on the phone or Skype or messenger each day for about 2 months straight! N whenever we weren’t at university in lectures we’d crash and head to my apartment! We spent almost every waking minute with each other n eventually he got me to do what he wanted I opened up to him n he opened up to me! things moved way too fast but it was an excellent adrenaline rush. Everything was perfect except for the fact that his parents are strict racist.He’s Chinese n Indian n well lol I’m Black! Now the reason we can’t go anywhere is because they’d probably kill us or kick him out if they ever were to find out about me! All of my girlfriends have warned me about him n i should just walk away before we both end up dead but I can’t Somewhere-along the line I fell for him he does the sweetest things and he’s always full of surprises one night he showed up at my door step for like 5mins just to say I love u n he lives a good hr drive distance from! We’ve probably only gone out like 2 and its always in the night besides at school with our other friend we’re never seen out in the day! I’m not okay with this arrangement I really like him but i can’t continue to just have sex with him just like that its deeper now feeling are involved sighh he’s even starting to confuse me too one day he’s telling we should stop cuz this can’t go anywhere the next he’s telling me he loves me and he misses me n he thinks about me everyday! we don’t talk as much or text probably once a day now or every other day n to me its just to set up out next meeting time or so that we can have phone sex! He says if we could be then we would be but he just can’t get kicked out of his house again sighhh…then y did he lead me on in the first place! I mean he knew the colour of my skin the moment he met me! smhhhh…this whole thing is too much maybe I should just buy a dildo and call it George! lol I don’t no what to do! I do love him but I can’t keep seeing him in my bedroom n that’s all its become now Its just sex! I need more but he can’t give it? what should i do?
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  28. January 19, 2012 at 10:21 am Permalink
    Anonymous says:
    if anyone is still commenting on this… if he doesn’t want a relationship “yet”, but assures you it’s not just sex… it’s probably just sex isn’t it… I’ve told him I don’t mind if it ... See more is just sex, but he insists it’s not, yet has no intentions of a relationship and doesn’t make the greatest of effort. Makes it difficult as he get’s jealous of other boys, and I’m not sure where I stand exactly. I’ve explained to him that when he is ready for a relationship I don’t want him to be bored of me… it’s been 7 months! we’re public about the whole thing, met his parents (doesn’t always mean much though) and he always asks me to watch his rugby games… it seems like a huge effort for just sex so am I just a synic, or am I right to be stirred by the phrase “I’m not ready for a relationship”. not long ago this would have sent me packing, but this time I don’t care either way, I almost have the best of both worlds, boyf type for cwtches single times when I’m out (although I am totally committed as in I don’t kiss ect any other boys), any thoughts…
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    • January 20, 2012 at 2:00 am
      Denise says:
      Hi there. Thanks for joining us on AWS!

      The way I see it, you’re his girlfriend but without the commitment. He can bail on you any time he wants to. But if you’re fine ... See more with that setup, then just carry on with what you’re doing with him.
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  29. January 15, 2012 at 4:38 pm Permalink
    Anonymously says:
    Uncertain whether anyone replies to this anymore. But if anyone’s out there i could use some advice. The “15 Signs” applies perfectly to one relationship i’ve had recently. As backstory, my husband and i are ... See more polyamorous, so we both can date other people…and seriously- no jealousy….as long as we’re both honest. it has worked well for the last three years. Anyway, my last guy was the perfect 15 signer. it was just sex, and i liked it that way. My problem is that i just went out with an old co-worker friend. I always had a crush on him at work, and when we both left, i thought i’d never see him again. However, about a month ago he called me to simply ask what was goin on in my life. Finally, we both had clear schedules to meet up this past weekend. It was great- he’s a brilliant conversationalist and can even make a shy girl like me feel comfortable about just chatting about all sorts of things. We went to a bar to listen to some live jazz and the night went splendidly. i drank waaaay too much, as did he…but i remember before leaving the bar that both of us discussed how we liked each other when we worked together, but i had been afraid since he had been my superior. All in all we ended up back at his place (walking distance and i needed to sober up before getting home)….and yes, we had sex. Technically, we’d worked together and been friends for a good 5-6 months…but this was a first “date” (if you can call old co-workers catching up such a thing). I get freaked out at staying over at a guys place…’cause i’m used to previous booty call guy, where it was more of a…eh….i’m more comfy to sleep in my own bed. So i left at about 5 in the morning. He stayed in bed till late afternoon (hungover ::tee::). He called the next day, asking to hang out on his following day off. From there it went downhill. The day planned- i texted him and he was at his grandpa’s…and going to stay. And consistently, every planned meeting led to cancellations. I know he’s busy at work, and half the times i planned to cancel myself (before realising he already had) just because i was exhausted after work. He cancelled again last night with a “it’s tomorrow”…so i gave up and just told him that sundays don’t work for me (which is very true) and maybe tuesday if he has off or we’ll just find some time one day. i guess, it’s just that i really like this guy. He’s not the type i usually date (or have ever really dated), and i want to know if i ruined it. My husband says “just give it time,” but i really want to see him, and i’m afraid i’ve scared him off. And yes, he does know about my husband and our type of relationship, and has since we started working together and chatting. Any help or advice at all would be greatly appreciated, and apologies for the insanely long comment.
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    • January 16, 2012 at 6:43 am
      Sheila says:
      Hmmm maybe he’s afraid to get attached to you considering you do have a husband. Agreed he knows about your lifestyle but maybe he decided that it wasn’t for him. Give it time like your ... See more husband says and see where things go. Meanwhile, don’t be pushy and give him his space to see figure out what he wants.
      Good luck.
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  30. January 5, 2012 at 3:38 am Permalink
    diapia says:
    Hey!
    I think an outside perspective would be really helpful. So I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple months now. Met him 6 months ago, been sleeping with him for 4 months. ... See more Since we met he would always text me every few days. After two months we went out and we both got wasted at a club and ended up having sex later that night. Ever since, he still texts me about twice a week sometimes more sometimes we talk for hours. However, I’ve sorta turned him into a bootay call since. I call him every time I’m drunk and ask him to come over which he does. But there’s been times where I’ve fallen asleep on him and he’s just been there for me to make sure I’m ok when I’m wasted. Times when he couldn’t make it ,it was always a legit reason and he’d stay on the phone w me and then make sure i’m okay and tell me not to drink a lot. He never spends the night though, he comes and we talk for an hour or so before hooking up then we hookup and talk and cuddle and at the end we end up talking more and cuddling for a while then around 5am he goes home. the talk is barely about sex, its about what we have been up to, our friends, family, things we share in common, other things. Lately he seems more cuddly and shares more about his life than he did before. He has suggested that we get lunch then a room but i didn’t show interest. then last weekend when i drunkenly asked him to comeover and he was away, he texted me teh next day saying sorry he couldn’t make it to see me and asked if i wanted to get coffee with him the next day. but i didn’t reply to his text for hours so he called me. He’s also called me before to tell me things about my life which shows he cares. But, when my roommate said “oh you guys are gonna end up together, she says she only calls you when shes drunk but you guys are just in denial” he said “i’m concerned” and he also said “i’m not consistent” . but, he also looks at my facebook and sees things and i know this bc hes accidently mentioned it before couple times… and when its about something serious he pulls me closer and hugs me tighter and even when my roommate was saying all that before he said those things he pulled me closer and kissed my cheeks and forehead. and he tells me things like you don’t need makeup youre beautiful. and i don’t. its so confusing bc i feel like im getting mixed signals. what do you think???
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    • January 5, 2012 at 12:49 pm
      Sheila says:
      Hi Diapia,
      Honestly the only one giving mixed signals here is you. I think his intentions are pretty clear but he’s probably not taking things further because he thinks it doesn’t mean much to you. ... See more If you want something serious with him, stop ignoring his coffee and lunch requests and actually go out with the guy!
      Good luck! :)
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    • January 10, 2012 at 4:39 pm
      diapia says:
      well i don’t wanna be straight up b/c he is much older than me, ten years. also, he’s not one to be in a relationship w/o being serious about the person and not one to ... See more share feelings either. this is so difficult. i really don’t know what he wants. i’m not sure he does. i don’t wanna have to have the “talk” w him so is there anyway i can try to find out what he wants from me?
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    • January 11, 2012 at 1:19 am
      Denise says:
      I agree with Sheila — you’re the one who’s confused about the situation. He obviously wants something serious with you. You need to figure out how you feel about him. If you want to be ... See more in a relationship with him, then go out with him. If you just want sex, then just be straight with him so he won’t expect anything more.
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