Is Your Friendship Worth Risking for Romantic Love?

Well, for over 2 years now I've been in love with my best friend. We talk for over 2 hours on the phone most EVERY day. We are seperated by time, distance and finances. We've never been in each other's presence (isn't this weird?) After a month or two, I began to love her romantically and I told her at 6 months. She cannot return the romantic feelings under the circ's. We are still best friends tho. Maybe whatcha say is right...maybe I do need to shut up about it. I am regularly, gently reminding her...prolly feels like nagging, huh? Maybe I'm just gonna have to bite the bullet with finances and she's gonna hve to bite it with her schedule and we're gonna have to meet and settle this thing once and for all. talking is a complete waste of time so are poems, gifts, flowers and the like. I'm beginning to feel like the proverbial nagging wife after reading what was said here,

ok so i like this guy and were BEST FRIENDS and ive been tellin him we need to talk and he he keeps askin bout wat and i said ill tell ya later (cause ppl were around) so he said mail me so i mailed him saying that all i wanted to tell him was that i really liked him and even tho i kno he likes some other gurl idc i just wanted him to kno that i liked him and that even tho one of us may feel different bout the other one nothin can beat our friendship did i do the right thing ? or make a big mistake ?!?

After being e-mail friends with a woman for a couple of years, I recently met her during a business trip. I was attracted immediately to her looks and to her brilliant mind. We are both writers. I am going through a divorce after a 15-year marriage. We met at a party and then spent a day together. The conversation was fantastic. I was more open with her than I am with most people. By the end of our time I wanted to share how I was feeling, but I feared she might misinterpret me. Was she just being kind to someone from out of town? I have been sad and lonely, and maybe this was too obvious? Since returning home I have written her a couple of times and phoned, and she does not respond. She is a very busy person. But I worry that I lost my one opportunity for this connection. It is frustrating to have this distance between us with the only contact by very occasional e-mail or looking at her on Facebook. I wonder what her touch feels like and despair that I will never know. Is it too impersonal - or too needy - to send her an e-mail saying what I have been thinking about? Is it normal to feel this lovelorn?

Thanks heaps for your help Olga! It's just what i needed to hear. Such a therapeutic blog. We met up the other day. We were both so anxious, we could barely make eye contact. It was still fun and all that. There was pretty much zero flirting going on. We didn't talk about it at all, but i really wanna know what she's thinking about it. Oh well i feel queezy about it all. Still, i'm glad its out in the open and she knows clearly how i feel. Such an interesting time for me :)

A very tricky situation indeed. I tend to agree with telling the other person of your romantic feelings. But the relationship will never be the same, whichever way it goes. Perhaps being prepared with an "escape" line or two, a joke or something, just in case your feelings aren't reciprocated, might be handy.

Todd, I'm with Sheila. Gotta stop the nagging (?) bit and let her heart just decide on its own. And yes, do keep up posted. I'm sure she'll come around because I'm sure you're a great catch. :)

I wouldnt risk having a romantic relationship with a friend. I couldnt sacrifice a very good friendship.