Is Your Friendship Worth Risking for Romantic Love?

Thanks heaps for your help Olga! It's just what i needed to hear. Such a therapeutic blog. We met up the other day. We were both so anxious, we could barely make eye contact. It was still fun and all that. There was pretty much zero flirting going on. We didn't talk about it at all, but i really wanna know what she's thinking about it. Oh well i feel queezy about it all. Still, i'm glad its out in the open and she knows clearly how i feel. Such an interesting time for me :)

I wouldnt risk having a romantic relationship with a friend. I couldnt sacrifice a very good friendship.

Thx Sheila. I'm happy to say that nothing has changed. After a few questionable days of silence we spoke and met for coffee: there was no awkwardness, no pauses, no scary silences. It was just as it has always been through the years. And our connection felt stronger then ever :) Regardless of what happens in the future, I know that he will always be by my side. I will say this, without risk - there is no possibility of gain. Sometimes you have to throw all the cards on the table and see what happens. If the friendship is strong enough, it can survive anything... Even if our romance never takes shape, at least I know I tried: I won't have to ever wonder "what if". The most important thing is that I know I'll always have my life long friend to share the winds, twists and turns of the future with :)

After being e-mail friends with a woman for a couple of years, I recently met her during a business trip. I was attracted immediately to her looks and to her brilliant mind. We are both writers. I am going through a divorce after a 15-year marriage. We met at a party and then spent a day together. The conversation was fantastic. I was more open with her than I am with most people. By the end of our time I wanted to share how I was feeling, but I feared she might misinterpret me. Was she just being kind to someone from out of town? I have been sad and lonely, and maybe this was too obvious? Since returning home I have written her a couple of times and phoned, and she does not respond. She is a very busy person. But I worry that I lost my one opportunity for this connection. It is frustrating to have this distance between us with the only contact by very occasional e-mail or looking at her on Facebook. I wonder what her touch feels like and despair that I will never know. Is it too impersonal - or too needy - to send her an e-mail saying what I have been thinking about? Is it normal to feel this lovelorn?

I just did this, today actually. I've tried for so long to convince myself that I should not be into her. But i'm absolutely head over heels for her. I was 100% sure that she was keen too (i'm sure i wasn't being diluted). So i sent a text message to my friend explaining my feelings. (Which was an amazing feeling to know that it was finally out in the open and i would be getting a resolution). I received a reply to the effect of "i love you lots but i don't want to ruin a friendship". It didn't turn out the way i'd wanted but we are still friends (i hope). At the moment I feel like i may have scared off the most precious friend. I think it can go two ways from here: - we will become increasing awkward and avoid each other. - or from voicing my feelings, i've cleared a burden between us and will go on to reach a new level of friendship. If things are cool this time next week then i'll be happy.

I apologize - but this is gonna be a litte on the long side.... I have been in love with the same man for 14yrs, and I finally told him. He's been one of my best friends since I was 16. Through the years we have seen our ups and downs: been thorough boyfriends and girlfriends, his failed marriage, careers, family, heartbreak and disappointment. We've survived the good, the bad and the ugly. Even survived my leaving our home town after High School, returning years later. We've gone for months without talking, then picked up right where we left off as if no time had ever passed. We talk about everything and nothing, meet for coffee or drinks at least once a week, call to check in if we miss a week. He helps me with repairs around my house, and listens and offers advice with any issue, even when my hearts been broken....yet again. My family and friends are of the opinion that we belong together, and are not shy about sharing that view point. The other night, he came over for drinks. I ecpressed to him my feelings, concerns and desires. He reciprocated, admitting that he had had the same thoughts through the years. I'm the one he trusts above all others, the one who has never crossed him. He cares about me, and even through out the "L" word.... But, its never been the right time. He currently lives with a girlfriend he's not exactly sure of, (and hasn't been for some time. They've been together 2yrs, and I've never met her,) is in the middle of changes at work, and a family crisis. He's scared. Everything is changing around him, and he isn't someone who likes change. And there I was, his best friend asking him to change EVERYTHING. We agreed that our friendship means everything, and that we would remain friends regardless of what happens down the road. It's not a chance that we want to miss, but that its something that requires thought. The option is there, and it's now up to him to take it. I'm happy I made the choice to tell him instead of suffering in silence, and was pleasantly surprised by his response. But at the same time...it brakes my heart that the man I trust completely and care about unconditionally is still with someone else. Stuff never happens like in the movies, and this is such a movie moment... :( Good things come to those that wait...but I will not wait forever.