All Women's Talk

Is It Always a Good Idea to Move from Friends to Lovers?

By Mabelle

When your best pal is a member of the opposite sex, the million dollar question has always been: can you transition from being friends to lovers? For some, moving from friends to lovers is the very obvious choice. For others, the situation becomes a little bit more complicated. This is especially true when either the man or the woman is not willing to risk ruining the friendship. If you are torn between letting things remain as they are, or blurting out your feelings because you just cannot bear the thought of your friend not knowing how you feel - here are some tips that will help you out.

• First, get to the root of the ‘problem’.

Go back to the time when you felt a deeper feeling towards your friend. Is it because of the constant companionship? Have you just gone from a really bad relationship that is why you are considering treating your friendship as being something more than platonic? Before taking the risk of ruining the friendship, make sure that what you are feeling for your friend is the real thing.

• Second, understand that your friend may not really feel the same way about you.

Once you have decided to go for it and tell your friend that what you are feeling for him or her is beyond friendship - understand that the feeling may or may not be mutual. Surprise is generally the initial reaction, especially if your declaration has seemingly come out of nowhere. After that, just let what you have said sink in.

Then, there will be two scenarios. The first one is that your friend may not realize that he or she actually feels the same way about you and you can both move on from being friends to something more. The second scenario is that your friend does not feel the same way at all. This is the crucial point that you need to prepare for. The mere act of sharing your feelings with your friend may cause your friendship to be ruined, or worse, it could cause your relationship to end. That’s the risk that you have to take.

At the end of the day, the decision will be entirely up to you. Just remember that in life, there are a lot of risks that you need to take and this situation is a classic example of that. Taking the risk of ruining your friendship by letting your friend know how you feel about them is a lot better than not letting on about how you feel at all.

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