The situation can go either way when you risk your friendship finding out that you are in love with him or with her: you can turn your friend into a lover and end up as a couple with a happy ending, or you can end up making things awkward for the both of you and ruin a perfectly good, platonic relationship.

So how will you know if your 'love' is worth risking your friendship? At the end of the day, it all depends on how strongly you feel for your friend. Use both your heart and your mind in making the decision. Can you bear the thought of losing a perfectly good friendship if you find out that your friend does not feel the same way? Once you blurt out your feelings, that will be the turning point of your relationship and your friendship - as it was before - can never be brought back. On the other hand, if your feelings are so strong that you just cannot bear the thought of your friend not knowing how you feel, then it is probably worth risking the friendship.

Whether your friend returns the romantic feelings that you have or not is a question which will be difficult to ask - but taking the risk of ruining your friendship is more acceptable than not letting your friend know how you feel. Who knows, if your friend secretly feels the same way about you, you just might be in for a happy ending.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

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Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

ok so i like this guy and were BEST FRIENDS and ive been tellin him we need to talk and he he keeps askin bout wat and i said ill tell ya later (cause ppl were around) so he said mail me so i mailed him saying that all i wanted to tell him was that i really liked him and even tho i kno he likes some other gurl idc i just wanted him to kno that i liked him and that even tho one of us may feel different bout the other one nothin can beat our friendship did i do the right thing ? or make a big mistake ?!?

When im around her i cant help but smile, i look at her when she isnt looking and just think how beautiful she is and how all i want to do is tell her i love her. I cant take secretly loving her anymore, the constant dreams about being with her are drivin me crazy. I just dont know if i can risk losing her altogether, I would no longer have that occasional text that brings all the memories flooding back and makes that smile appear that no one else could. I would no longer have that hope that maybe someday I might have her again. I dont know what to do, im only happy when im around her - cant she tell? What if she says no? I dont want anyone else, to me she is my one, my only :-(.

After being e-mail friends with a woman for a couple of years, I recently met her during a business trip. I was attracted immediately to her looks and to her brilliant mind. We are both writers. I am going through a divorce after a 15-year marriage. We met at a party and then spent a day together. The conversation was fantastic. I was more open with her than I am with most people. By the end of our time I wanted to share how I was feeling, but I feared she might misinterpret me. Was she just being kind to someone from out of town? I have been sad and lonely, and maybe this was too obvious? Since returning home I have written her a couple of times and phoned, and she does not respond. She is a very busy person. But I worry that I lost my one opportunity for this connection. It is frustrating to have this distance between us with the only contact by very occasional e-mail or looking at her on Facebook. I wonder what her touch feels like and despair that I will never know. Is it too impersonal - or too needy - to send her an e-mail saying what I have been thinking about? Is it normal to feel this lovelorn?

Thanks heaps for your help Olga! It's just what i needed to hear. Such a therapeutic blog. We met up the other day. We were both so anxious, we could barely make eye contact. It was still fun and all that. There was pretty much zero flirting going on. We didn't talk about it at all, but i really wanna know what she's thinking about it. Oh well i feel queezy about it all. Still, i'm glad its out in the open and she knows clearly how i feel. Such an interesting time for me :)

I am grateful that I found this site. I just want to share my story and the things that are bothering me right now. I have a friend who I have feelings for. I never had the guts to tell her that since she seemed not be interested in me and talked about other guys that he likes.Until one day we went out w/ some of our friends too and ended up in a friend's house.Since we got only one room and were 5, we have to share beds. We shared bed and ended up kissing each other and making love.I was so happy and thought we had a chance of continuing our relationship into a deeper one. But i was wrong. That next day I talked with her, she was cold. She told me that I should not expect things from her since she has nothing to more to offer than friendship.She even told me to forget everything that happened. I felt bad that I decided not to see and talk to her anymore.It's been a week now and she hasnt done anything to communicate w/ me either.What do you think happened?Is it just a one night stand?I will appreciate a response soon. thanks

i believe that love has no boundations or limitations but friendship has some limitations , i hav a very good friend , i am a man aged 23, i hav been talking to her since one and a half months now , i hav already proposed to her twice , but she said that she does not want this relation now , she considers me a very good person and a very close friend , actually she had an affair 6 months back for bout 1 and a half yr. , now i hav given her time , i am quiet suppotive wid her , but i am desperate to hav a relation of love wid her , i am quiet serious , how uch time i shud give her to understand my feelings , she is saying that currently she has no feeling for me , for future she has no reply , wat shud i do ???