All Women's Talk

Essential Dating Lessons from Sex and the City ...

By Oksana

There is no denying the impact that "Sex and the City" has made on the contemporary dating scene. Just ask any single, cosmopolitan woman and she will undoubtedly be familiar with the many adventures of Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda. We could all learn from the show, as it bravely unmasks every dirty detail of finding love in the modern world. Below are the 10 most essential dating lessons from "Sex and the City."

Table of contents:

  1. it’s okay to be single
  2. test the waters before marriage
  3. you can score outside of your league
  4. don’t change who you are

1 It’s Okay to Be Single

This was perhaps the most important lesson that "Sex and the City" bestowed upon the world, particularly where women were concerned. Although singledom didn’t always bring happiness to the four main characters, the ladies sure made it look like fun 90 percent of the time.
To be single means to be independent, and with a fairy tale-like Manhattan glittering in the background, the show made us all feel okay with the idea of being single. These women were not spinsters - they were cosmopolitan sexpots. Refreshing, indeed.

2. Sex Can Be Healthy.
Let’s face it: sex changed for us all when the AIDS virus started taking lives in the 1980s. Although we learned more about the disease and how it is contracted by the time we entered the 1990s, this association between sex and death still permeated the single community. With that came guilt for those who still enjoyed casual sex from time to time.
Enter "Sex and the City" in 1998 and we all breathed a sigh of relief - people were still having sex! Safe sex, in all its full-frontal glory, was a huge part of the television series. Although this probably didn’t endear the show to religious fundamentalists, most people applauded its candor and a wiser, safer sexual revolution was born.

3 Test the Waters before Marriage

Who can forget Charlotte’s doomed marriage to the seemingly perfect Trey? After meeting what she thought was the perfect man, the ever-romantic Charlotte decided to wait until marriage to consummate their love, only to discover later that he couldn’t be intimate with her.
Of course, some people still believe that sex before marriage is wrong. Those same people probably don’t watch "Sex and the City" for love lessons. Most of us need to test the waters before marriage, as intimacy is an integral part of a healthy relationship. Even if you plan to save sex for marriage, it’s important that you ask questions about your partner’s sexual health.

4 You Can Score outside of Your League

Never underestimate your ability to find love with someone who is seemingly "out of your league." Is someone you are interested in really good looking or in a higher socioeconomic class? This doesn’t mean you weren’t meant to be. Chances are, the idea that you aren’t good enough is just your skewed perception. Believe it or not, true love transcends superficiality.
In a Season Three episode, Miranda begins dating a hot NYPD detective and subsequently ruins the relationship because she is so self-conscious about her own looks. Of course, he finds her very attractive, but her insecurity gets in the way of what could have been a great thing. Charlotte, on the other hand, learns that looks and WASPy status isn’t nearly as important as her love for second husband Harry.

5 Don’t Change Who You Are

This is a constant theme throughout the show, which only supports the girl power vibe for which "Sex and the City" is so well known. Never lose yourself in a relationship in order to conform to the other person’s life or ideals. Carrie found herself changing for a few men in the show. Although Aidan was seemingly the perfect guy, he wasn’t perfect for her.
One of the more hilarious episodes showed Aidan unsuccessfully introducing the great outdoors to Carrie, a concrete-loving New York City girl. Towards the end of the series, Carrie again found herself lost in a relationship with a man: Russian artist Aleksandr Petrovsky. After pushing her best girlfriends away and moving to Paris with Aleksandr, she soon found she was unhappy because she was living his life instead of her own.

**Find the next 5 dating lessons here**

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