They say you can fix a broken vase but the glue will always show. Now, that may work for glassware but relationships are something else. It’s true that, once an adultery has been committed, you can’t expect the things to go back to normal overnight, but many couples have managed to beat the odds, get past the cheating episode and live happily ever after. So, if you’re the one that cheated, the one that is trying to get past the partner’s infidelity or, if you just know a person that might use an advice – here are 7 steps that will make dealing with the situation easier.

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1. Think Things through

The cheating one has to decide whether he loves his partner enough to do everything possible to salvage the relationship. Cheating is the worst thing you can do and it would be foolish to expect the other person to say, “Ok, I forgive you. Now, did you get that shampoo I asked you to pick up on your way home?” It takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice! Now, if you have been cheated on, I can totally understand how you feel right now. And, believe me, hiding it and pretending you don’t care is wrong. Let it all out, cry, don’t keep the pain bottled up inside. Once that is out of your system you will be able to think more rationally and decide whether you want the cheater back or no.

2. Get to the Bottom of It

Talking about the things that made you or your partner resort to cheating is not easy but it’s the only way. You see, I think most of my relationships failed because of the fact that I like to shove problems under the rug and pretend that everything is OK. Now, that’s definitely the easier way but it only leads to more problems and ends with cheating, breaking up or both. Find the problems and work up the solutions so you could have a fresh start.

3. Forget the Words and Focus on the Acts

“I love you” sure did mean a lot before that cheating episode but, honestly, it’s worth a diddly squat now! So, if you are the cheating one, find other ways to demonstrate your love and regain your “relationship credibility”. Just make sure they don’t involve material things because your loved one might feel like you are trying to buy their love. Explain how sorry you are, take responsibility for your actions and be prepared to answer all the questions your partner may have.

4. Forgive and Forget

Your partner had cheated on you, you’ve discussed it and decided to move on and try to make it work. Congratulations for letting the love win! However, jealousy and the lack of trust may interfere here so make sure that, once you forgive your cheating partner and learn a lesson, you observe the cheating episode as a thing of the past. Your partner should help you with that by working hard to regain your trust and you should be open to that. Don’t give in easily because he/she has to learn a lesson too, but don’t fall into the trap of using that mistake as an excuse to act jealous, make insulting comments or make him/her suffer.

If you're looking to engage your partner in intriguing conversations, why not try some hypothetical questions for couples? These fun queries will not only keep the conversation lively but also stimulate deep thoughts and potentially reveal insights about each other's personality and thought processes.

5. Rekindle the Old Flames

Think about the things that brought you two together, that made you grow strong as a couple and re-experience those moments. Start going to dinners and visiting museums once again or go camping, hiking or anything you like. Do all those things you used to do while your relationship was still fresh. You see, one of the most common reasons for cheating is the feeling of being stuck in a rut. And, let’s face it, all relationships go through that boring phase when one person knows exactly what the other person will say, do or suggest.

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6. Don’t Be Vindictive

Your partner’s cheating is not your get-out-of-jail-free card. If you take his cheating as a permission to cheat back once the good opportunity comes out, what’s the point of saving the relationship now only to destroy it again in a couple of days, months or years?

7. Work on the Trust

Every healthy relationship is build upon trust so, once you manage to trust each other again, things can go their usual way. Sometimes it takes years to get the relationship to what it used to be before the “unfortunate event”, sometimes you realize that you can never feel the same for that person again but sometimes, cheating or being cheated on opens your eyes and makes you realize how much you love that person and how you can’t stand the thought of losing her. The cheater should work very hard on rebuilding that trust – no lies, no checking out other girls/guys and no shutting off the phone.

What is your take on this? Have you ever been in this situation and, if yes, how did you deal with it? Feel free to add more tips and share your opinion on cheating, forgiving and moving on. Would you find it in your heart to forgive or would you break up immediately?

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Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

My husband was cheated on me...he fell in love with another girl at his office..first time when i find out that something's wrong with him,i ask him...but he didn't admit it..after 1day he send me a sms that he should sent to that girl..finally he explained the truth..though i still can't forget about that memories n still not believe him 100%...but i try n he said he will do the best he could to make me believe him again...i hope we can make it through..

He has to quit seeing her, even quit his job if she works there. Your marriage is worth this.

How do you know if you should even begin to forgive the cheater? Is emotional cheating any better than physical cheating? I was cheated on emotionally and I'm broken but I don't know if I should take him back. Do I let him prove he's fighting for us first?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 years now, he cheated on me with his colleague (ex colleague now) on our 2nd year of dating. I was a virgin back then and did not want to give it up as yet so I would think that is one of the reason that drove him to start cheating. I forgave him, he has been doing his utmost best until this day to prove himself and try and get back my trust again, I know he loves me dearly and I love him too. Thing is they are still in contact via social media with this girl (Facebook & Instagram). She cant seem to disappear and I hate that. They stopped chatting that very same year I caught them because I told him to stop, but me having to see her comments on every status my boyfriend post does not make things easy for me. It kinda sets me back, it brings memories from the past, it gets me questioning myself from time to time if I will ever get over this, if the pain will ever go away. It's not something I go through often but it gets back to me every year. I sometimes ask myself if it would be better to just end this relationship so I wont ever have to dwell on the past, so I wont have to feel this pain but problem is I truly love this man. Something new might come my way but whether or not it will be better than what I have now is something that cannot be answered in the present. My heart has not completely healed. Any advice please??

This is very insightful. Thank you for posting this. :)

Hello , so I was reading this because I feel that the situation I am in right now is similar and wished for some advice I started talking to this guy I met at church and I felt like he was the right for me we had a lot of moments we had that made me think and feel a lot for him , one day we opened up to each other and we confessed to each other that we had feelings for one another and how we felt about it we decided to wait in God timing for everything to go right for us to take a relationship in God timing we thought it was best for us to be close and get to know each other more and keep praying that if its God will time passed and I was happier with him and he was as well , but there came a day where all that changed I started seeing him diferent around me he would still tell m nice things but at time I would feel him so far away I didn't understand why , throughout time I got the answer to my question through social media I saw a picture of him with another girl hugging and showing that they were in a relationship it broke me down because we had lots a hope for each other he build me a rainbow full of happiness and like any other girl I fell into depression and cried didn't know what to do , of course I asked why he did it knowing that he was talking to me and praying for me and told him t stop lying to me and show me the truth , he confessed that he was talking to the other girl and that yes it was fun but that was it with her that she was just a person he thought he would like but he realized that she wasn't the one he wanted to be with he said how he regrets it and he would of wished to tell me sooner and that he was in a moment of confusion and didn't know what he wanted and he was broken I understood I wasn't very convinced because I was hurt and I prayed I realized to give him a chance to start over with me and forget that he was talking to another girl and make things right again he felt that he didn't he didn't deserve a second chance because he felt horrible about and take all things back , right now yes I like him a lot and i still feel hurt what he did to me and don't comprehend why he did it but im willing to continue to pray and be there for him and he as well said he would put his part him talked to the girl and told her that i was the one he wanted to be with and yes she was hurt and made me feel bad in a way because I know someone was going to get hurt , its difficult because i feel like hugging him and being close but I know its not right because this is recent , I have thoughts a lot of times because i feel like how about if we get into a relationship someday and he cheats. But i feel if its God will i know we will stay together and grow together .He does tell me to look for God and pray for him and even through all the chaos that i still for God and not depend on him because he failed me My question and advice is it right for me to forgive and forget and what can I do to overcome what he did and for my heart to heal am I suppose to get away for him for a while and keep praying ? I really do want us to work and do things and he as well expressed to me that he also wants that

You did good for telling him that, Rebecca. I'm proud of you:) A friend of mine cheated on her bf but she never told him that- he found out months later. I was actually present at that time, her phone was off and he knew she was with me so he kept calling and sending angry texts on my phone... things got REALLY ugly, I tell you. Anyways, they worked it out eventually- he loved her too much to let her go. I know they talked on the phone a lot those days, she tried not to leave the house too much, only when needed. No parties, no coffees with friends, nothing that could make him think, "She's out there having fun while you're suffering". Oh yeah, and her phone had to be on at all times. She'd freak out if her battery was low and had to text or call him immediately. And she does that even now, almost a whole year after the unfortunate event. Okay, they are a bit strange couple but that's the only cheating episode in a long distance relationship I can think of at the moment. Since it's a long distance relationship I'd suggest doing something unusual- send him a love letter, for example! Go visit him right away if you can. You will work that out, I'm sure of that. And, when you do, do everything you can to regain his trust. Maybe this sounds like I'm suggesting you should give up your own "privacy" or "send reports" of everything you do, heavens, no! The truth is that, when one cheats, a huge amount of trust is lost. So you must earn it back by showing him you have nothing to hide. P.S- Bravo for being honest and telling him. Most people would keep quiet and be like, "it's just a kiss, it didn't mean anything." Good luck and I'm keeping you my fingers crossed:) P.S.S- Gee, I wrote a novel! I guess I should stick to blogs, huh? :D

I have a big problem well to me it is and need help from a girls view

My boyfriend and I were together for 3 years and I broke up with him for stupid reasons I wanted to have fun. I went ahead and kissed 2 guys while we were not a couple but me and my boyfriend were still seeing each other like he would come visit me in college and we would hook up then he would leave and I would always tell him we weren't bf and gf. Finally One weekend he went to the beach with some friends and slept with a girl when I found out I was furious because he lost his virginity to her and lied to me about it. I felt betrayed and sick for weeks and I realized I loved him and made a mistake braking up and being confusing with him. I know I cheated but I cnt help and feel that wat he did was way worse. And I know we broke up but we still talked and had just seen each other 2 weeks before that! we decided to work it out and now we are official and more mature because of this we appreciate our relationship much more than before but I can't help but wonder sometimes if I made the right choice? Help?

just found out my partner had cheated but he was living back at his mums he was always telling me he loved me and we were a couple having problems and we were trying to rebuild our relationship.he used to stay over and we would sleep together and would say he loved me and it was just the arguements that was the problem.this happened for nearly a year.always promising we sort things out we had been together for 11 years before he left.then i found out he had been seeing someone else .just says you know now dont have to lie .his nasty when he comes to pick up kids and hasnt even said sorry his angry at me because it came out about him and the other woman at work as he told her he was truly single while still sleeping with me convincing me we were working things out.he dosent even look at all sorry.its been nearly 2 weeks and not even a expanation or anything.his just anrgry because people hate him at work andive ruined it for him with the other woman to.my world has fell apart.