They say you can fix a broken vase but the glue will always show. Now, that may work for glassware but relationships are something else. It’s true that, once an adultery has been committed, you can’t expect the things to go back to normal overnight, but many couples have managed to beat the odds, get past the cheating episode and live happily ever after. So, if you’re the one that cheated, the one that is trying to get past the partner’s infidelity or, if you just know a person that might use an advice – here are 7 steps that will make dealing with the situation easier.

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1. Think Things through

The cheating one has to decide whether he loves his partner enough to do everything possible to salvage the relationship. Cheating is the worst thing you can do and it would be foolish to expect the other person to say, “Ok, I forgive you. Now, did you get that shampoo I asked you to pick up on your way home?” It takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice! Now, if you have been cheated on, I can totally understand how you feel right now. And, believe me, hiding it and pretending you don’t care is wrong. Let it all out, cry, don’t keep the pain bottled up inside. Once that is out of your system you will be able to think more rationally and decide whether you want the cheater back or no.

2. Get to the Bottom of It

Talking about the things that made you or your partner resort to cheating is not easy but it’s the only way. You see, I think most of my relationships failed because of the fact that I like to shove problems under the rug and pretend that everything is OK. Now, that’s definitely the easier way but it only leads to more problems and ends with cheating, breaking up or both. Find the problems and work up the solutions so you could have a fresh start.

3. Forget the Words and Focus on the Acts

“I love you” sure did mean a lot before that cheating episode but, honestly, it’s worth a diddly squat now! So, if you are the cheating one, find other ways to demonstrate your love and regain your “relationship credibility”. Just make sure they don’t involve material things because your loved one might feel like you are trying to buy their love. Explain how sorry you are, take responsibility for your actions and be prepared to answer all the questions your partner may have.

4. Forgive and Forget

Your partner had cheated on you, you’ve discussed it and decided to move on and try to make it work. Congratulations for letting the love win! However, jealousy and the lack of trust may interfere here so make sure that, once you forgive your cheating partner and learn a lesson, you observe the cheating episode as a thing of the past. Your partner should help you with that by working hard to regain your trust and you should be open to that. Don’t give in easily because he/she has to learn a lesson too, but don’t fall into the trap of using that mistake as an excuse to act jealous, make insulting comments or make him/her suffer.

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5. Rekindle the Old Flames

Think about the things that brought you two together, that made you grow strong as a couple and re-experience those moments. Start going to dinners and visiting museums once again or go camping, hiking or anything you like. Do all those things you used to do while your relationship was still fresh. You see, one of the most common reasons for cheating is the feeling of being stuck in a rut. And, let’s face it, all relationships go through that boring phase when one person knows exactly what the other person will say, do or suggest.

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6. Don’t Be Vindictive

Your partner’s cheating is not your get-out-of-jail-free card. If you take his cheating as a permission to cheat back once the good opportunity comes out, what’s the point of saving the relationship now only to destroy it again in a couple of days, months or years?

7. Work on the Trust

Every healthy relationship is build upon trust so, once you manage to trust each other again, things can go their usual way. Sometimes it takes years to get the relationship to what it used to be before the “unfortunate event”, sometimes you realize that you can never feel the same for that person again but sometimes, cheating or being cheated on opens your eyes and makes you realize how much you love that person and how you can’t stand the thought of losing her. The cheater should work very hard on rebuilding that trust – no lies, no checking out other girls/guys and no shutting off the phone.

What is your take on this? Have you ever been in this situation and, if yes, how did you deal with it? Feel free to add more tips and share your opinion on cheating, forgiving and moving on. Would you find it in your heart to forgive or would you break up immediately?

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My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years. I just recently admitted to cheating on him in our first year of dating and he has broken things off. I want so desperately to be with him and don't know how to make things work...

3 weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me and the next day i got drunk and slept with his best friend. I told my boyfriend the next day because this is something i could not keep to myself. He threw out all my stuff and told me to never speak to him again. But he texted me every single day about how he missed me but was so angry and couldnt believe id do something like that. I told him i did it because i was numb and depressed and his best friend manipulated me, and i didnt sleep with him because i liked him Ive apologised a thousand times. Me and my ex saw each other a couple of times and i thought we were going to get back together, and then after a couple of weeks he texted me saying it was over. Then about 5 days later he started texting me again saying he missed me and he's back to not knowing if he wants me back. I feel so awful about what i did and im doing all i can to make up for it and its killing me that he doesnt know what hes going to do because none of us can heal properly. Im so scared, i want him back so much and im doing everything i can. What should i do? What do you think? I really need help

Thank you for this post. I've been going through a month of hell.... I was planning a special dinner on Easter for my husband where I would tell him we were expecting our second child, but instead I got a call from a coworker saying he was sleeping, and had been for 2 months, with his other female coworker who also happened to be one of MY best friends. She even came over to hang out at my house when the affair was going on. I've been heartbroken... my husband has been begging me to leave, saying it didn't mean anything.. but I just feel at the lowest place. Now with a second child on the way, I want to try even if it fails... after two kids you are rather tied and invested to that person.... this article really helped me

I cheated on my boyfriend of 5 years at the start of this year. Thing is we had just broken up but were in the process of mending. I was truly shattered when we did break up and turned to someone I definitely shouldn't have. He recently found out but never said anything until today. I really want to work it out, I love him to much to let this relationship go.

me and my girlfriend been with eachother for 5 years started dating when i was 18 and she was 15 i knew here way before then but when she was 19 she was working and i suspected her cheating but let it go well 3 years down the road we had a baby and we got into a fight and it finally came out she had sex with the guy i thought she like 2 times but she said it was at a party both times and idk how to deal with it now please help

my boyfriend of 4 years and father of my child cheated on me about a month ago. he never came and told me i found out from the husband of the wife he slept with due to the fact that he had found them. this women was my bestfriend we talked on the phone everyday and our kids played together just about every day i had off.....My boyfriend said that it was only this one time since we had been together but she told her husband that it was multiple times in the last two years.....i never saw any signs of cheating coming from either of them.....and he swears up and down that she pursued him and he was too drunk this one time (while i was out of town) and it "accidently" happened. i dont know what to believe and notice myself getting more angry about it. i want to be able to move on but i dont know what the truth is.