Love is a very popular thing these days. So popular, many people use it to describe even those bad behaviors that have nothing to do with it. I guess everything sounds a bit better when it’s done with love in mind, huh? Well, I’m pretty sick of that and I’m sick of people trying to use this word to justify their own selfishness and lack of emotions. So, here’s my list of bad things that are being passed under this name:
“I don’t want you to go out on your own because I love you.” “Your friends are trying to corrupt you, I’m the only real friend you have.” Now, tell me how many times have you heard something like this? I’ve actually spent 2 years with a person that tried to convince me that jealousy is a sign of great love. Well, sorry, but I don’t think jealousy is a divine trait! It’s just a proof of your own fears and insecurities and if you keep insisting on it, you might lose the person you care for.
There are no white lies, good lies, love lies or small lies – If you love somebody you have to speak the language of truth. It is painful and it is hard, but it’s the only right way. So if somebody uses love to justify lying, you can rest assured this person actually means, “I lied to save my own ass and if you actually buy this pathetic love crap excuses, I’ll feel free to keep using them. “
3. Breaking up
Can somebody explain me this? Please?! In what universe loving somebody becomes the ideal reason to let that person go? Don’t fall for these lame excuses ladies! If he “needs to break up because he has strong feelings for you”, he’s just trying to say, “I don’t need you right now but I want to keep you around in case I get bored or change my mind. “
4. Trying to Change Somebody
Love is about adapting and accepting the person as it is – not changing it to fit your standards. I know many people that engage in relationships thinking, “Ah, he/she will be just great after I fix her/him up a bit.” Excuse me, but if you feel the need to fix something, go practice some useful skills… like fixing electrical appliances, for example!
5. Faking It
Let’s be honest – we all fake a little bit in the beginning. However, some of us are so scared of showing their real selves that they see faking as the only way people will like them. I’ve seen my fair share of fakers and, let me tell you this – falling in love with a faker is like falling in love in a movie character or witnessing a mirage. Once the show is over you are left feeling empty, wondering what has just happened. Don’t fake or tolerate faking – every person is special in its own, unique way. So, if you think your partner is not interested in seeing the real you, move on and find somebody that will want to know everything about you and worship every single little flaw you have.
Do you know somebody that is being abused by its significant other? Do you know that these people often hide their emotional and physical bruises and pretend everything is OK because their tormentors poison their brains with lines like, “I’m doing it because I love you!” These things happen and they can happen to somebody you know and care for. So, yes, we need to speak about this and against it. Why? Because this is NOT love and there is no way it could ever be interpreted as anything but pure, evil abuse.
7. Asking for Money
Freeloading is tacky, low and lame and I’d rather die of hunger than stoop to that! However, I know many people whose main interest is, of course, cash. Girls that date only guys in BMWs and guys that like to play big shots wasting their girlfriend’s money. Helping you loved one is something you should always do, but if you notice that he/she is only interested in you when it’s time to pay the rent or go out to a new, fancy, pricy place, you probably have a freeloader on your hands. Yes, this person truly loves something about you, but that’s not your personality or your funny bone – it’s your wallet!
Well, I’d say this is pretty much it. At least I hope it is. Do you have any other negative examples of “love”. Did you maybe have the misfortune to be with a person that “loves” you so much that he/she just needs to lie, pretend, take your money or even insult you? What would you do if this had ever happened to you or somebody you know?
Top Photo Credit: Sarah G...