7 Ways to Make a Relationship Work after a Cheating Episode ...

They say you can fix a broken vase but the glue will always show. Now, that may work for glassware but relationships are something else. It’s true that, once an adultery has been committed, you can’t expect the things to go back to normal overnight, but many couples have managed to beat the odds, get past the cheating episode and live happily ever after. So, if you’re the one that cheated, the one that is trying to get past the partner’s infidelity or, if you just know a person that might use an advice – here are 7 steps that will make dealing with the situation easier.

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Think Things through

The cheating one has to decide whether he loves his partner enough to do everything possible to salvage the relationship. Cheating is the worst thing you can do and it would be foolish to expect the other person to say, “Ok, I forgive you. Now, did you get that shampoo I asked you to pick up on your way home?” It takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice! Now, if you have been cheated on, I can totally understand how you feel right now. And, believe me, hiding it and pretending you don’t care is wrong. Let it all out, cry, don’t keep the pain bottled up inside. Once that is out of your system you will be able to think more rationally and decide whether you want the cheater back or no.

Get to the Bottom of It

Talking about the things that made you or your partner resort to cheating is not easy but it’s the only way. You see, I think most of my relationships failed because of the fact that I like to shove problems under the rug and pretend that everything is OK. Now, that’s definitely the easier way but it only leads to more problems and ends with cheating, breaking up or both. Find the problems and work up the solutions so you could have a fresh start.

Frequently asked questions

Forget the Words and Focus on the Acts

“I love you” sure did mean a lot before that cheating episode but, honestly, it’s worth a diddly squat now! So, if you are the cheating one, find other ways to demonstrate your love and regain your “relationship credibility”. Just make sure they don’t involve material things because your loved one might feel like you are trying to buy their love. Explain how sorry you are, take responsibility for your actions and be prepared to answer all the questions your partner may have.

Forgive and Forget

Your partner had cheated on you, you’ve discussed it and decided to move on and try to make it work. Congratulations for letting the love win! However, jealousy and the lack of trust may interfere here so make sure that, once you forgive your cheating partner and learn a lesson, you observe the cheating episode as a thing of the past. Your partner should help you with that by working hard to regain your trust and you should be open to that. Don’t give in easily because he/she has to learn a lesson too, but don’t fall into the trap of using that mistake as an excuse to act jealous, make insulting comments or make him/her suffer.

Rekindle the Old Flames

Think about the things that brought you two together, that made you grow strong as a couple and re-experience those moments. Start going to dinners and visiting museums once again or go camping, hiking or anything you like. Do all those things you used to do while your relationship was still fresh. You see, one of the most common reasons for cheating is the feeling of being stuck in a rut. And, let’s face it, all relationships go through that boring phase when one person knows exactly what the other person will say, do or suggest.

Don’t Be Vindictive

Your partner’s cheating is not your get-out-of-jail-free card. If you take his cheating as a permission to cheat back once the good opportunity comes out, what’s the point of saving the relationship now only to destroy it again in a couple of days, months or years?

Work on the Trust

Every healthy relationship is build upon trust so, once you manage to trust each other again, things can go their usual way. Sometimes it takes years to get the relationship to what it used to be before the “unfortunate event”, sometimes you realize that you can never feel the same for that person again but sometimes, cheating or being cheated on opens your eyes and makes you realize how much you love that person and how you can’t stand the thought of losing her. The cheater should work very hard on rebuilding that trust – no lies, no checking out other girls/guys and no shutting off the phone.

What is your take on this? Have you ever been in this situation and, if yes, how did you deal with it? Feel free to add more tips and share your opinion on cheating, forgiving and moving on. Would you find it in your heart to forgive or would you break up immediately?

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Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

I cheated on my boyfriend of 5 years at the start of this year. Thing is we had just broken up but were in the process of mending. I was truly shattered when we did break up and turned to someone I definitely shouldn't have. He recently found out but never said anything until today. I really want to work it out, I love him to much to let this relationship go.

i have been with my boyfriend for 6 and a half years. when we were in our third year of being together i sucked another mans ears. it was at a party and i was very krunk (drunk and high). i had know what i did was wrong but is it cheating ifi only sucked his ears??? a girlfriend ofmine told me it would hvae been worse if it was his nose,but i am confused??? would my bf be mad?! i started with the lower cartlidge of his ear and gentally carressed the upper hard part of his ear with my soft godly lips. then i put my tongue into his ear and fondled his waxy little ear with my tongue. as i shoved my tongue deeper and deeper into his ear canal i could sense myself getting closer to my goal (his ear drum) *so sexy* ughhhhh :( i cant stop thinking about it but i am so in love with my boyfriend will he be mad about cheating??? he has been asking me to have children but i am afraid of cocks? they're so gross!! yuck! should i leave my bf? i have been wetting myself periodiclaly throughout the last 17 years. i think i have a problem! im not being honest with zeuse. also i think i have genital warts from fondeling ear. but if i didn't lick his ear lobe none of this wouold have happened. except for me wetting myself, that is not in anyway related to this problem of mine. i need advice, and fast! what is david suzukis tumblr url?!

just found out my partner had cheated but he was living back at his mums he was always telling me he loved me and we were a couple having problems and we were trying to rebuild our relationship.he used to stay over and we would sleep together and would say he loved me and it was just the arguements that was the problem.this happened for nearly a year.always promising we sort things out we had been together for 11 years before he left.then i found out he had been seeing someone else .just says you know now dont have to lie .his nasty when he comes to pick up kids and hasnt even said sorry his angry at me because it came out about him and the other woman at work as he told her he was truly single while still sleeping with me convincing me we were working things out.he dosent even look at all sorry.its been nearly 2 weeks and not even a expanation or anything.his just anrgry because people hate him at work andive ruined it for him with the other woman to.my world has fell apart.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 years now, he cheated on me with his colleague (ex colleague now) on our 2nd year of dating. I was a virgin back then and did not want to give it up as yet so I would think that is one of the reason that drove him to start cheating. I forgave him, he has been doing his utmost best until this day to prove himself and try and get back my trust again, I know he loves me dearly and I love him too. Thing is they are still in contact via social media with this girl (Facebook & Instagram). She cant seem to disappear and I hate that. They stopped chatting that very same year I caught them because I told him to stop, but me having to see her comments on every status my boyfriend post does not make things easy for me. It kinda sets me back, it brings memories from the past, it gets me questioning myself from time to time if I will ever get over this, if the pain will ever go away. It's not something I go through often but it gets back to me every year. I sometimes ask myself if it would be better to just end this relationship so I wont ever have to dwell on the past, so I wont have to feel this pain but problem is I truly love this man. Something new might come my way but whether or not it will be better than what I have now is something that cannot be answered in the present. My heart has not completely healed. Any advice please??

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i would never forgive my gf. i can't even think of any good excuse for cheating. yes no matter how much i would love her, i wouldn't forgive oh and if the guy, with who my gf had cheated, i beat the sh*t out of him end of story

Husband cheated on me with a prostitute. He said he just did it. He was in another country on business and got approached walking down the street (this was in the Phillipines). He said he realized what he had done 5 seconds into the sex (used a condom) and told her to get the f**k out. He waited 9 months to tell me. I am so angry, we have been together 30 years. I am glad I found your website, as I'm searching for answers. He is beyond remorseful and wants to stay together, we have just started marriage counselling on his insistance!!!

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