Ok, so you know it’s over, but you haven’t told him yet. Do yourself a favor and get it over with. There’s no point playing ‘girlfriend’ if your heart is in the wrong place. So how do you break up nicely? Here goes…
Meet him
Don’t break the news to him over the phone. Not only it is rude but he’s always going to wonder about what went wrong. Give him a chance to hear it from you directly. Email and SMS is even worse. Invite him home or go for a walk together. Either way, sit him down and explain how you feel. Be honest!
Answer why?
Most men are intelligent. He will want some kind of an explanation. Don’t just say ‘It’s off’ and walk away. This was the guy you fell in love with once. So be kind to him and explain why things didn’t work out for you. You owe him some kind of explanation especially if you’ve been together for a while.
Blame yourself
It’s easier and kinder to blame yourself for the break. You could say ‘It’s me, I’m just not ready for somebody as nice as you’ or something to that effect. Don’t lay all the blame on him or you’ll soon be having a fight rather than a conversation.
Let him think
Once you’ve told him, don’t expect an answer immediately. If he’s in love with you this will probably be breaking his heart. So respect that and let him be. Don’t shower him with questions or a hundred ‘I’m so sorry’s’. He will need a few minutes to let it sink in. Give him that time to think about what’s happened.
Let him talk
He may want to explain things especially if he did something wrong. Hear him out but don’t have that ‘Oh, I wish I had known’ look on your face. If your mind is really made up then let him now this is the end of the road. Avoid getting trapped into the loop again. A firm yet gentle ‘no’ is the best for both of you.
Just friends?
That’s great if he wants it that way. But make sure you tell him how you want to keep the relationship. If a clean break is what you want, be clear that he understands that. If you want to go on as friends, but he doesn’t, then respect that and move on. Don’t sob uncontrollably on his shoulder as you’re the one breaking up with him! Remember?
Don’t hold on
Let him go. If he wants to leave, then let him. Don’t keep pulling him back into conversation. He probably just needs a good drink and some sleep!
Fabulous picture by cattycamehome
This helped me so much. A girl dumped me by sms after we went out for 2 weeks. “Not only is it rude but he’s always going to wonder about what went wrong”. This is very true, it hurts so much, I don’t know if i did something wrong or what. If i did something wrong, why would she not tell me. The sms went – “It’s over, I made a mistake…” I’m struggling to understand why someone who knows how much you love her would do something like this. Can someone out there help me understand this. Am I missing something here or this is supposed to mean something.
That is horrible Ritchie. You should definitely ask her for the reason. Closure is important. I’m sorry this happened to you.
what if it is a distance relationship, and we cant really meet at the time that i want to break up with him. how do i do it nicely through other means other than talking in person.
hey thx i really needed that but i have to over the phone hes just not my type thx
Breaking up is neva easy, the idea of breaking his heart is not doing me any good.
my bf has no respect.im dumping him in 2 days. mi need to gather my methd i think ill use yours.
so i have this boyfriend, and i used to like him SOOOO much before we started dating and then he asked me out and everyday i started liking him less. hes SO clingy, hes at my house everyday so i always have to hang out with him and if i just want to be alone or read a book he keeps bugging me to come talk to him or something and i can never walk around in just plain pjs like i used to. AND WEVE ONLY BEEN GOING OUT FOR A WEEK!! i dont really like him anymore and im always trying to avoid him. i think i only liked him before because it was so much fun trying to get him to like me back. i really like being single more anyway. i dont know what to do cause he likes me so much and he says his whole family thinks im just adorable and i dont wanna break his heart. should i dump him?
to Mickey:
Are you sure you don’t like him any more? And you won’t be hurt once he starts dating or flirting with other girls? Think carefully before you dump him, cause when he’ll start going our with others and you will want him back you might not get him …
one of my boy best friends wants to go out with me, but Im inlove with his mate! how do I handle this?
to Hart Brkn:
Hmm… It depends on how much you like the guy who asked you out… If he’s a nice guy, I’d go out with him and see how it goes, talk, you, know, you might find out something about your crush too. But I wouldn’t kiss this guy, as this might make things complicated for the whole love triangle when you and your crush get together. But date sounds pretty innocent.
omg. i have a rep for breaking up and going out with people alot. and im going out with this guy right now and hes nice and all, but i cnt tell my mom about him cause she wouldnt approve of him, therefore i cnt do anything with him. plus hes not even cute. buti feel really bad cause like i went out with this dude and he broke up wit me and stuff. and i still like hm and we still flirt txt and i also flirt txt with this guy the is sooo fine! idk wat to do. i mean im trying to change my rep so i think im gonna b single for a while………….. if ypu have anymore advice, please tell me. thanks!
Trichik,
You sound confused to me :) You should probably stay single for a bit and stop breaking all those hearts…..
Hello girls, or gay guys!
well its true that sometimes a guy can get really attached and stuff like that, and maybe u dont want that or ur not ready! or maybe its just the way he is or the way things are going around…
well i’ve been thru that, and broke up with him, we was friends and then i asked my self wat the effing did i do? because i just looked at the bad side of all this instead of first talking it out and letting him know….
after a couple weeks as friends we talked it out, and he was just being like that cuz he thought i didnt like the real him and that i deserved a better guy! well today we’re dating once again and on oct.21st will be 5 months of happiness that we’ve been leaving…
so my point is dont let one thing be stuck in your mind talk it out, maybe something is bugging him?! so that would help rather then breaking up with him…
:D thankxx for taking sometime to listen to my comment!
with loves thays
Thays,
Commuication is key to making any relationship work. It is amazing how many issues can be sorted by simply talking your heart out :)
Well ive been going out with my bf for about a week now
But its just not working out
We dont seem any different to when we were just friends
but the thing is i loved our friendship, hes so funny. even his laugh maakes me lmao
I waant to breaak up with him in the nicest waay possible!! and so thaat we will still haave our friendship.
And the worst thing is, i like his bestmaate!!
PLEASE HELP ME!!!
Hayley,
Wow! Only a week and it’s already not working out AND you like his best pal??! Well as for breaking up, if you don’t think it’s working out, maybe he doesn’t either. So just meet him and tell him whatever you think. Maybe you’ll be lucky enough to skip the post breakup awkward phase and go back to being great friends considering it was only a week long relationship. But please don’t do anything about this crush you have on his pal….not right away anyway.
I dont no whether i love him or not. I think I do but I know that I can do much much much mcuh better. He treats me like shit.
Kookie,
I don’t now why a lot of us fall for men who are mean to us. It’s weird. You CAN do much much much better!
alright, i have this boyfriend. we’ve been dating in a long-distance relationship for almost a year. he spent $1,000 dollars to visit me once. he is in love with me, and he chokes me with his love. he constantly say’s i love you. i know i used to feel love towards him mostly through the whole relationship, but long-distance is a very hard thing to deal with. i’ve broken up with him 7 times, but he is so pathetic and depressed when i do, i just run back to him with out even thinking. i just recently got back together with him, (the 7th time), and i don’t feel as strong as feelings as i used to towards him anymore. i can’t stay in this relationship. but, i can’t stand to break his heart. i mean, i was once in complete love with him. i just can’t handle the distance. he obviously is doing fine with it, and he just bought me a promice ring. he almost spent $2,000. he says he would give up on love if i gave up on him. he was my first kiss, and first real boyfriend. he’s a bit nerdy with not many friends, and i just need to move on. but, i know he can’t move on, and it kills me to know that i would put him through so much pain… what should i do? i doubt anyone even frekkin’ read this….
Bekkkkii,
We do read what our readers have to say and try and respond to as many as we can :)
Having said that, this guy that you’re dating sounds really needy to me. Like he’s just scared that he wont have another girlfriend and that’s why will do anything to keep you in the picture. A year is too short a time (especially in a long distance relationship) for anyone to get attached to such an extent that they would “give up on love”. Like I said needy and needlessly dramatic. And if you’ve broken up 7 times in this one year, something’s definitely not right. So break up again and this time do it right. Make it clear to him that this is it. You can’t do long distance. And the reason you keep going back to him is out of pity and not because you love him and that’s not fair to either of you. Good luck sweetheart :)
I am a boy and i appreciate the ways you suggested to dump a guy.
But, being here i think i should share one more kind of guys to get rid of whom you won’t need this hustle. For them a text or mail stating ” I AM OFF ” works well. And they won’t even ask you the reason or any kind of explanation.
Have fun ladies.
Samuel,
A text or mail is the worst possible way to dump someone, girl or boy!
ok so im still in love with the guy who broke up with me. but he really likes this other girl, and she is a little bit more filled out then me. especially in the butt. plus they are best friends and she knows he likes her and she keeps breaking his heart by prentending to like him and then just using him to get to someone else. he is always telling me about how bad it hurts, its like i want to scream out, HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL! he is driving me nuts! he is all i think about, and wwhen i try to get over him by going out with other people, but it only makes it worse.=(
Hi Trichik,
Well hun I really don’t know what else to say except move on. He clearly has and yes it’s a little mean that he discusses how he feels for this other girl with you but that should be reason enough. It’s going to be hard, I wont lie but it will get better with time! And don’t date other guys ifyou’re not ready for it. You’ll only end up comparing them to him and noone will be good enough. Give yourself time to heal which you will I promise! :)
i dumped my boyfriend of two months, thinking it was right as i wanted to go out and have fun. now i realise i am nothing without him after only 2 days, and want him back. dayum my stupd pride.
Hey Louuu,
Give yourself more time to be sure. You’re bound to miss him in two days. Only more time will tell you if you have made the right choice or no. So yeah, wait it out and see if you feel the same way in say 2 weeks.
i hav been goin out wit dis guy 4 lyk 7 months or sth n i ws crius 4 only d 1st 3 months…cz i hv no idea hw 2 dump him! On top of dat he ws d gy hu ws lyk my bro 4 arwnd 7 years or sth n nw i dunno how but we ended up d8in each oder. Dis is realy stresin cz i dnt wana hurt him but indirectly im by avoidin him ryt?? sooooo HELP PLZ!!!
Hi Kiss&kill,
If you are avoiding him then yes you are hurting him. Put him out of his misery and just tell him that it’s not working out. Good luck!