Reviving your relationship takes a concentrated effort, but you can speed it along with these juicy tips to make him see green! Time can take a toll on your marriage. After the first few honeymoon months, you will notice the ‘magic’ and ‘romance’ fade away a little. Your man may hardly notice when you walk into the room. He’s too busy watching the football game or just sitting there doing nothing. When that happens you know it’s time to do something about it!
Day 1: Mirror, mirror on the wall…
Take a good look at yourself. When was the last time you had a sexy haircut? Get an appointment with your hair salon for a body wax, manicure and a pedicure. You can’t make anyone jealous if you look like a yellow toothed gorilla. Add some color to your hair and look clean, healthy and ready to take on the world.
Day 2: Pamper yourself a bit
Remember the money you’re saving up to buy him a new tie? Spend it! Buy a pair of elegant black pumps. Move over to the lingerie section and get something strappy, a little bold but not too flashy. Subtlety works like magic! When you get home, leave the package at some obvious location. You don’t have to open it all out. Just leave a little bit of lace peeping out of the cover. Don’t mention it when your man comes home. Don’t even wear it for the next week. He’ll wonder why you bought such awesome innerwear when you were not planning to use it!
Day 3: Girls day out
Avoid sitting at home and calling up your man to ask him when he’s coming back from home. Be independent. Get a hobby to keep your occupied. Find friends who are not common to his. Make plans to keep you busy in the evenings. You want him to know that you have a life and that you are a happy and independent women of the 21st century. If he doesn’t have time for you, then you are not going to wait around forever.
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- 20 Flirting Rules to Always Get The Guy You Like …
Day 4: Join a gym
Make sure that the gym that you join is unisex. Mention in passing the names of a couple of ‘male’ friends and how they’re so regular to the gym. Also mention how you appreciate that they’re putting so much effort into looking good. If you have a personal trainer, then all the better! Don’t forget to talk about his biceps.
I may say that some of the advises seem a little bit boorish and crude to me, but maybe you are after that kind of guys (also the picture kind of reminded me of such), then I would not be interested in that kind of a girl, so I cannot judge here.
However learning to like yourself and caring about your look are universally accepted as attractive to other people, also briefly described in points 1 to 3; is a nice reminder, fair enough!
Mike, I agree. Some of these points are a little too extreme. And honestly I think your asking for trouble. I wouldn’t want my perfectly trusting boyfriend/husband to suddenly have doubts in his head. That’s hardly going to help. Now, joining the gym, taking care of myself, making myself look good. That I can do! And when you look good, you know other men are gonna turn to look at you. That’s about all the jealousy he needs to hold on to you tight me thinks ;)
Lily,
I understand why you may feel as though there’s something wrong with your husband being friends with his exes… I would too. Yes, it does have to do with some jealousy… but we’re supposed to be jealous if there’s a teeny bit of distrust in your guy. The thing is that we’re all humans and we cannot be trusted to be Perfect. Guys like sexy girls (wife or not), girls like attention from guys (husband or not). I think it’s wise to avoid anything that could lead to an affair and/or a heart-attachment. I KNOW my husband would hate it if I was close friends with crushes I’ve had in the past (can’t say exes because he was my first boyfriend). Point is: I agree with you, I wouldn’t want him to even WANT to have those friendships, why not stay friends with guys… most girls will always want attention from guys (even if its a married man)… it’s a thin line between just friends and what if… in a weak moment. I also think that those who think a married person can have a perfectly close friendship with a person of the opposite sex and have a healthy marriage also… well, that person is either not married themselves, like a married person themselves,maybe has not being married for long, does not understand men, or is in denial.
Now… with this in mind, I still think that your husband is his own person and has the right to be who he wants to be, be friends with whom he wants to be, do what he want to do… just like you. NO ONE WILL NECESSARILY CHANGE WHEN MADE TO… OR PRESSURED TO. BUT EVERYONE WANTS TO BE ACCEPTED AS THEY ARE. I’m not in your situation… If it’s a far away (facebook) kind of friendship, I think it’s safe. If they are hanging together a lot… hmm… i’d think ‘why not me’?
I think a man likes to be accepted for who he is with no changes… We ALL have something to work on… none of us are perfect. I’ve noticed that many women, including myself, tend to be very critical all the time… we can be experts at finding the faults in a man that we’re married to. We can compare with other men, etc… but if you were married to those other men, you’d find their faults, which can be just as irritating. Men are men and will always be men… and there is GOOD to this. So, I’ve learned that the key for us women is to learn to look at the GOOD side of that man and praise this side, encourage his good, appreciate that good, admire his great qualities that make him the man you fell in love with. I’ve learned that if you treat him as you would like him to be, he may end up acting like so. He’s got his goods, focus on them… and PRAY about the stuff that irritates you. Now, choose your battles (what is worth letting him know that bothers you)… you don’t want to bombard him with ALL THIS stuff that bothers you… just pick the one thing you’d really like him to KNOW bothers you and why. And do it in a calm “i love you” way… and then make him laugh… do something fun so it doesn’t feel so heavy afterwards. I’ve also learned that laughter (specially after a serious conversation) works wonders in a marriage (specially for the man) they tend not to always ‘have something bad to talk about the relationship”… it makes them feel like they’re the ones at fault, they may not feel their best and feel bummed out. So that’s why we praise and encourage their good… to help them know we still respect them for those good things they do (they work and bring in money… that’s enough to respect :))…
Hope this helps a bit. I’m not perfect, but take what you think will help you guys.
Dee
These tips sound great. Specially after 13 years of marriage. We just had a baby and my hormones are going wild. At the same time he is use that I am only the Mom of his kids ( we had 3 ages 9,8 and the newborn) Since I lossed some weight I am remember how to take care of my self and feeling good in my own skin! If he doesn’t wake up next step is filing for it but let see what happend. Thanks for the tips.
Hey Millie,
Thanks for writing in! I know I don’t need to say this but please think about your decisions a million times! You don’t want to regret anything. Especially when a 13 year marriage is in question. Good luck sweetheart :)