10 Things I'd Ban if I Were President ...

Not being US-born, I’m not likely to ever become President. And I can’t say I’d want the job anyway. Imagine having all that responsibility … However, just supposing I did somehow find myself sitting in the Oval Office, my first act as President would be to pass legislation to ban a number of things …

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Animal Cruelty

Animal Cruelty Photo Credit: Fen Branklin

I cannot abide animal cruelty, and there is no excuse for it. So, anyone found mistreating an animal would immediately be given the same treatment that they had given the animal.

Child Poverty

Child Poverty Photo Credit: Mio Cade

In the modern age, it seems incredible that there are millions of children around the world living in appalling conditions and dying of malnutrition and treatable diseases. This simply wouldn’t be allowed to happen under my presidency.

Frequently asked questions

Snow

Snow Photo Credit: Ronaldo F Cabuhat

Ban it. What use is snow, unless you want to ski? It would only be allowed in heavily regulated mountainous areas for the benefit of those winter sporty types that get some strange amusement out of playing on the stuff.

Reality TV

Reality TV Photo Credit: Thomas Dyllan

Alright you TV moguls. You’ve had your fun and now it’s over. No more saturating the channels with acres of heavily-edited and controlled ‘real lives’. Back to making quality programmes.

Mornings

Mornings Photo Credit: leweeg10

I am not a morning person. Therefore mornings will be banned. Don’t like that? Hey, who’s President here?

Faulty Can Pulls

Faulty Can Pulls Photo Credit: Roadsidepictures

Ever had one of those can pulls that breaks off when you try to open it? Not on my watch, you won’t. No more screaming in frustration and digging out the can opener, which rather defeats the object of having a ring pull in the first place.

Wars

Wars Photo Credit: Titolian

All wars will from now on be settled in the following way – with a tug of war. No bombs or guns, just a long rope and two teams. Benefit – no civilians will be harmed in any way.

Related: 5 Things You Want to Avoid ...

Rainy Weekends

Rainy Weekends Photo Credit: Cuba Gallery

How often is it sunny all week and then rains while you’re off work? I will order that rain is only allowed to fall for a maximum of two hours during office hours, and between the hours of 10pm and 6am.

Related: 5 Things You Must Avoid ...

Sales Calls

Sales Calls Photo Credit: markhillary

These people seem unable to stop their nefarious activities, and persist in bothering decent citizens in their homes. Therefore, all citizens will be issued with a device to press upon receiving an unsolicited sales call. This will cause a feedback loop that will immediately scramble the brain of the caller.

Weird Neighbours

Weird Neighbours Photo Credit: Dixie Native

Every building or neighbourhood has one of these people who has nothing better to do than monitor everyone else and complain about whatever they do. Creepy neighbours of this type will be moved to a compound where they can all annoy each other.

This ‘wish-list’ is mostly facetious, but what would you like to do if you were President? Would you ban all the things that annoy you, or concentrate on serious things?

Top Photo Credit: Kris Kros

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

I would ban Twinkies, vending machines in elementary schools, cigarettes (no 'only outside', just, GONE), the monopoly of the beef/chicken/pork market, that antibiotics be fed to food animals, MacDonald's, marshmellow spread, the overpriced amount that celebreties get paid to be in movies, baggy pants on guys that go down to their hips and show their underwear! Ban that vacation times are so little (we shall match Europe!), ban spam emails, ban that troubled children just go through the school system - that they must meet with a professional at least once, ban the large amounts of salt we allow in our foods, the dark tan with pale lipstick and bleach blonde hair look, lol it's hard to stop once you start thinking about it.

O.o I think this article should be titled "10 Things I'd Ban if I were God" instead.

I would declare "No mood, No work;only halfday and Pay" rule legal.

I will command all the Indonesian TV stations to remove drama series from their program lists,hihahaa.. In my presidency I mean..

Personally I think snow is utterly beautiful :) And not having mornings makes no sense, you can't change time. Some of these things eg. Snow and Mornings, can only be altered by GOD, not the President.

Do you really think someone can just "ban" nature? Plus rain is really beautiful and snow too. Mornings have been an inspiration for so many people. And weird neghbours are really unevitable plus they can sometimes be fun. You should try to love tha world as it is instead of thinking of changing things you canÂ´t change.

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