8. Hitting on You

Sometimes, it is hard to tell if a guy is hitting on you. When you first meet him, if he positions his shoulders and chest towards you, then chances are high that he is hitting on you – even if he is saying otherwise with his words. Body language tells a lot about someone.

7. Approach Him Carefully

When you approach him, you should do so carefully. Why? Because you want to make them feel comfortable with talking to you. Do not push for answers – let it come comfortably.

6. Accept Insights Uncritically

Try not to toss your opinion around and criticize the guy. You are trying to get inside their mind, because you believe they have information you need. Therefore, don’t be critical or argue.

5. Observe

Observe the speed of which the guy moves, breathes and speaks. Does he speak fast? Adjust yourself so that you match his speed.

4. Look in His Eyes

I always find that looking into the eyes helps to get inside anyone’s mind. Look at them – eye to eye – this should help.

3. Find His Communication Preference

Are you able t find his communication preference? Some people choose to think visually, in pictures of movies. Then, other tent to think with sound or touch/feeling. Some think with a combination of all. We all use these at one point in time, but we tend to lean towards one of these. Figure out which style it is that your subject prefers.

2. Voice

You should pay attention to voice. Notice the volume of the voice. Does he speak soft or does he speak in a loud fashion? Perhaps he speaks somewhere in between both of them? Match the voice as much as you can. Next, you need to listen to the rhythm that he is speaking. Does he speak in a musical manner or does he speak quick and choppy? Last, pay attention to the tone he is using. Is he speaking in a squeaky, high voice or is it deep and low? Don’t try to match these too closely as he could catch on and it could look like you are mocking him.

1. Mental Patterns

Once you have successfully matched those physical patterns of the guy, it is time to ace the mental patterns. You need to let those mental patterns come out on their own. Don’t try forcing anything in your mind – let those thoughts naturally come out.

In the professional way, this may not be mind reading. However, it is a great way to reach out and understand what the person in front of you is thinking and feeling. Connecting to the individual is the key. I know, it’s hard to understand what a guy is thinking, but sometimes, you will be able to do it. So, what is your guy doing/saying that you can’t understand?

Top Photo Credit: Liz Henry