Crushes happen all over the place – and they can even happen in the office. This can be tricky, however, since a lot of workplaces frown on office romances. Crushes on a colleague have the potential to get messy as well, for a variety of reasons. There are so many things to consider, but here are some techniques that can help you handle a crush on a co-worker.
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Stay Professional
Above all else, you have to stay professional in the workplace. If you start behaving in an unprofessional way, then things can get very bad very quickly. By acting professional, however, you can keep things in perspective … and make sure that you keep your job. This is especially important if you don't want your crush to know about your feelings.
Maintaining a professional demeanor means keeping your interactions courteous and respect focused. It's easy to let emotions steer your behavior, but remember: your workplace isn't the setting for personal drama. Keeping a level head and managing your responsibilities with excellence not only reflects well on you but also sets a clear boundary. Even in casual office environments, it's critical to differentiate between friendly banter and crossing the line into inappropriate territory. Always communicate clearly without letting your emotions cloud your judgement or actions.
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Don't Let Him/Her Walk All over You
Some people are more than willing to take advantage of your crush feelings. And it is human nature to sort of dote on people you like and care about, so you might be tempted to buy your crush lunch or coffee, pick up his or her dry cleaning, and so on. Furthermore, your crush might be perfectly willing to reap the benefits of that, even if he or she doesn't necessarily feel the same way. That's never awesome.
Remember, maintaining a sense of self-respect is key. It's one thing to be kind, but it's quite another to be a doormat. If you find yourself overextending without any reciprocity, it's time to pull back. Set boundaries and ensure they are clear. You can still be helpful or friendly, but ensure there is a balance and that your actions aren't solely driven by your feelings. This will protect your own well-being and could also prevent any potential resentment from building up over time. Remember, a relationship, of any kind, is a two-way street.
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Look the Right Way
What this means is, you should try to avoid staring dreamily at your crush while you're at work. Moony stares can reveal your feelings quicker than almost anything else. Besides, it's unprofessional to stare like that – and it could lead to trouble.
In the workplace, maintaining a professional demeanor is critical, and failing to do so could not only out you but tarnish your reputation amongst colleagues. Instead of ogling, focus on your tasks and interact with your crush like you would with any other co-worker—politely and respectfully. If you find yourself getting lost in their eyes, gently remind yourself to stay grounded. A simple trick is to establish a mental check each time you catch yourself staring: pivot your attention to a work-related thought or duty. This can help keep both your feelings and your professionalism in check.
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Keep up with Reality
When you have a crush on someone, it's not at all uncommon to start fantasizing or even dreaming about that person. It's also not uncommon to start confusing those fantasies with reality, especially when you work with your crush – after all, you spend so much time together. It's important to keep your feet firmly rooted in reality, though; keep your fantasy life completely separate from your professional life.
Remember that the workplace is for professional achievements and collaborations, not personal escapades. It's exhilarating to imagine a romantic scenario with your office crush, but don't let those daydreams color your interactions or decision-making at work. You must maintain professionalism and not act on impulse. Set boundaries for yourself and stick to them, even when it's challenging. Imagine the complications that might arise from blurring the lines—not only could it impact your career trajectory, but it could also affect your reputation and that of your crush. Keep personal feelings discreet to uphold both your integrity and the office environment.
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Be Realistic
To that end, you also need to be realistic. How does your company feel about office romances? Does your crush give any inkling about feeling the same way? Do you really think a relationship could happen? Don't let your feelings get in the way of your common sense. Stay level headed and make sure that you keep things in a realistic perspective.
Understanding the workplace policy regarding romantic relationships is essential. Some organizations have strict rules, while others may be more lenient. Look for signs from your crush that they may also be interested, such as extended eye contact or a willingness to spend time together outside of work-related activities. Approach the situation with a clear mind, recognizing that a workplace romance may complicate professional dynamics. Assess both your feelings and the potential consequences with a pragmatic outlook to avoid unnecessary complications in your career and personal life.
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Men in general judge more from appearances than from reality. All men have eyes, but few have the gift of penetration.
Keep Cool
You need to act as cool, calm, and collected as possible. Don't get gushy or giggly, don't let your crush affect you like that. If need be, pretend like your crush isn't there at all, especially if that's what you have to do to keep things on a professional level.
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Weigh the Consequences
If you really think you want a relationship with your crush, you need to start thinking about the consequences. Will it put your job in jeopardy? What happens if you break up? You need to think about what working conditions would be like both during and after a potential relationship. If the cons outweigh the pros, then again, keep your fantasy life completely separate from your working life.
Sometimes office romances do work out, but when they don't, it can get awkward even when you don't want it to. Things like that just happen, and it's rarely like what you see in the movies. Have you ever acted on a colleague crush before?
Top Photo Credit: Corporación DOMOS
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