All Women's Talk

8 Mistakes We Repeat in Relationships ...

By Alison

How many times do we find ourselves in a new relationship, but making the same mistakes we made in the last one? The truth is that we often don’t realise we are repeating old patterns, and so on and on we go. Here are some common repeated relationship errors to watch out for.

1 Think We Can Change Someone

Yes, I’m sure we can all recognise this one. We think that we can mould someone into the person that we want, as if we’re Pygmalion. So a guy has a reputation as a cheater? It’ll be different this time. Oh no it won’t. Wake up.

2 Change Ourselves

The other side of mistake no. 1 is changing ourselves to fit what we think the other party wants us to be. My question is this: if they don’t love you as you are, then are they really worth keeping? Besides, you might be wrong about how they want you to be.

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3 Doing Everything

Do you always end up being the one who does everything? Whether it’s because you like to take charge, or the other person just leaves it up to you, one of you is likely to end up resenting the other.

4 Picking a Type

This is very common indeed. Say you date a guy who doesn’t want to commit and you do. You break up, and find yourself dating another commitment-phobe. This type of pattern can repeat itself over and over again. Time to break it, and date someone who isn’t your ‘type’.

5 Wishing

You can wish as hard as you like, but it won’t make something come true. If a guy isn’t that into you, then however much you like him, it’s best to cut your losses and walk away, even though it hurts. You’re better off on your own than being with someone who’s not as keen on you as you are on him.

6 Trying Too Hard

I’ve done this more than once. Even when it is clear that a boyfriend is not interested in maintaining the relationship, I try far too hard to keep it going. If both parties are not committed, then a relationship will not work.

7 Tolerating Cheating

The jury’s always out on this one. Some people say that you can survive an affair, but I believe that you just don’t do it to someone, especially when you’re supposed to love them. Once you’ve forgiven someone for cheating, how can you ever be sure they won’t do it again?

8 Being Too Keen

This isn’t about ‘he won’t respect you if you sleep with him on the first date’. We’re all adults, and can make our own decisions on that. What I mean is rushing a relationship. If you wonder why guys seem to run away from you, ask yourself if you’re trying too get too serious too soon.

Have you ever noticed the same patterns in your relationships, and how did you break the cycle? What other mistakes do people make?

Top Photo Credit: owen4green

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