All Women's Talk

7 Things to Learn from Divorce ...

By Alison

It’s never easy when a relationship ends, and there’s always a lot of sadness involved. However, you do eventually start to pick yourself up, get on with your life and cope with the changes. In fact, although divorce is rarely a good thing (unless it gets you out of a bad situation), there are many lessons that you can learn, which will help you in your future life.

1 It’s Better to Be Alone than in a Bad Relationship

If someone makes you unhappy, is unfaithful, or mentally or physically cruel, then the relationship is not worth having. People hang on to relationship for fear of being alone – I know, I’ve done it. But I’ve subsequently learned that I can not only cope alone, I can actually thrive.

2 You Will Survive

You Will SurvivePhoto Credit: J. Gervase Photography

Divorce is horrible, stressful and painful. But you WILL get through it. Admittedly, what is the alternative? You will, however, find the inner strength to survive, and the pain will fade.

3 You Don’t Need a Man

You Don’t Need a ManPhoto Credit: Ricardo Carreon

Now, men can be an awful lot of fun. They can be very useful, They can even make excellent pets, er...sorry, companions. After divorce, though, concentrate on yourself and your female friends. You don’t need a man in your life, they are a bonus not a necessity.

4 Don’t Repeat the Same Mistakes

Ask yourself why your marriage went wrong. Work out what you expect from a relationship, what you can tolerate and what you can’t put up with. Give some thought to any patterns in your relationships. This way, you are less likely to repeat the same mistakes, such as falling for men who won’t commit or dating married men.

5 You Are Not a Failure

You Are Not a FailurePhoto Credit: Dan's sordid & sundry pictures

Maybe you blame yourself. If only I’d been more supportive/paid more attention/tried harder, you say. Well, I think that when people say divorce is easy, they are talking rubbish. It’s not. Some things are intolerable or out of your control. You gave it your best shot and it didn’t work. Not every problem can be solved.

6 It is like Bereavement

It is like BereavementPhoto Credit: digitalpsam (Really busy and away for a while)

When a marriage breaks down, you are mourning the loss of many things. You thought you’d grow old together. Maybe you’d hoped to have a family. Now those dreams are over. See this as a kind of bereavement and allow yourself time to grieve.

7 Take Your Time

Take Your TimePhoto Credit: coopergranprix

Do not rush into another relationship! Rebound relationships are invariably a mistake, born out of the desire to be with someone, anyone. Sit back, take your time, and you will know when you are truly ready to date again.

Have you gone through a divorce? Do you have any advice to offer? Do you feel a stronger person now?

Top Photo Credit: [Chrysty]

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